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So much going on, and yet not much of it worth posting <.<;;;
Tonight, my brother is graduating.
My wittle baby brother is graduating! ^.^
Um, well, to his defense, he is only 16 months younger than me.
<.<;;;
It just seems so weird....he is going to be grown up, going to college, finding his career, and is probably going to get married and have kids...
No no no, I don't mean that it is scary because it is him. I have been thinking about this, applying it to even my youngest sibling, who is going to turn 11 in August. For me, it is kind of scary, a tad frightening. They are going to grow up, have lives that are different, seperate. Will we be closer, as the years go by? Or are we going to drift apart, too busy with ourselves to bother or even care? I know I might not be making any sense, but I feel so old now. =\And I feel so useless, so broken. I can't even controle my fu**ing panick attacks. I often wonder just what is my purpose, when I lie here bleeding profusly?
I think the best way to describe how I feel lately is odd. I don't feel myself. I... have been wondering if I ever knew the real me, who I really am. I don't know if I am changing, and if the people I know and deeply care about, and who care about me, will they cease to feel that way, if I change?
I am not even quite sure if this is some phase, if this is permanent, and where it is even going.
It is hard when somone you care about hurts you and doesn't care they did. >:|
On Saturday, I took my class placement tests at Central Penn. I knew I wasn't going to do all that hot in math, and I was right. I put my best effort into the English sections, and still got placed into the Developmental English class. The director assured me that 95% of the students have to take that class....but I was hoping to be the rare 5%. Oh well, I know that doesn't mean I am stupid. I did very good, from the results I got back. =P
Erg. But I am a tad on the dissapointed side =\
I treated myself to see Shrek 2, after my long and confusing treck from the college. (Long story short, I somehow got caught losing myself in an aproximate 50 mile circle, making me a bit late, and getting me back to the point where I made the wrong turn. Darn the backroads! >:O )
I wanna see the movie again.
Yes, it is that funny.
^____^
*Holds in spoilers and inside jokes.*
For now. Maybe. <.<
The honeysuckles are in bloom.
:D
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