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Tsk. I wont ask how some of you guys interpreted my last post subject.
Its better that way, methinks. XD
Last night was very interesting, to say the least, and brought up some valid points.
Part of the reason why I am always so cryptic is because I always imagined it to be severely dramatic to talk about your problems, especially if they are of the sort that are not widely socially public. (Like abuse or rape, for example )
I mean, yeah, almost everyone has friend/girl/guy/work related/money problems. And I can safely say just about everyone has had something traumatic or something so big it is defined as a turning point happen to them.
If you never had a defining moment/turning point, you might not be living. <.<
*cough*
So it just seemed that my problems will have the same sound as every other angsty O post you come across.
And a good friend of mine pointed out to me that it is just as bad to be all cryptic and stuff.
"Yeah. Boy, are things really bad. And gosh darn, do I wish I had help/good advice! But I wont tell you guys, even though you are my friends and most likely wanna help me!"
When my friends tell me personal things, I feel...honored. Honored that they can trust me, and that I have a chance to help them.
Basicly, if you take the time to read this, you are a friend of mine, and I trust you.
Unless you are my mom.
Which in that case, you can hit that little red box with the X in the upper right hand corner of the screen. =)
Which brings me the other reason why I am so cryptic.
Every single day for the past few years, my mom has told me that if I didnt like staying with her, to leave the house.
Or to just leave.
So, after sending me an e-mail during my trip telling me to do so, I finally did.
Just imagine everything she could have said/done to me over such a long period of time, over and over again, for me to not want to have anything to do with her.
I miss a mom figure. But I dont miss her.
When I was in Egypt, my sister was laughing at something I had put in my O. In her typical fashion, my mom pushed my sister aside, to read my O entry.
Along with the funny-ish story, I posted about how I didnt know why I relied on my mom, as she never was that type to be dependant on.
I wrote that because she was angry that I asked her to help me talk to the college in the US. She told me I was immature, and should have done all this stuff myself, before I left.
Now, this wouldnt be a big deal, cept that would have been the only thing she would have helped me with in the whole college process. I would have done it myself, but it cost 200 pounds per 5 minutes to call the US.
That was when she wrote me the e-mail, telling me not to bother coming back home.
And that was when she realized I had an online diary type thing.
So, now that I am finally far away, and dont want any contact with her, my source (*cough* Ok, my brother in college) tells me that from what she said to him last about my O, she could be making my little sister (rioki89) take her to my O, as she is internet illiterate.
And that is a big problem, because I dont want her to know anything about me.
I was going to make another screename, and abandon this one, but...
I dont think I really care anymore. Let her do/think what she wishes.
I mean, she cant do anymore physical/verbal harm to me anymore, because I wont allow it. Never again.
So here I am.
And I have more to say, (Yeah, stuff more weightier than what I just said =O )but it is 3 am, and I am very weary.
I will post more later, as this post is already incredibly long and winded.
But! I leave you with a peice of funny to smile about.
*grins*
aleia85: The only good thing about you not being here is if somone tells you to poke/bonk me on the forehead
aleia85: You have quite a bit of ways to go before you can do that again
aleia85: >:D
realsarasaturn: lol
aleia85: But that's it.
realsarasaturn: 6 hours
realsarasaturn: yea
realsarasaturn: just to poke you
aleia85: XD
realsarasaturn: i will travel 6 hours
realsarasaturn: on a bus
aleia85: I have to run away, if you are going to do that.
aleia85: That kind of traveling calls for a good ass kicking
aleia85: Instead of a silly poke
aleia85: So if I do something stupid
aleia85: Off I go
realsarasaturn: lmao
realsarasaturn: hahaha
aleia85: So Sarah cant find me
realsarasaturn: so true
realsarasaturn: i can imagine that too
aleia85: So whenever she does finally find me
aleia85: I am going to get it worse, becuase she traveled for 6 hours, on a bus, then had to find my sorry self
aleia85: XD
realsarasaturn: i know
aleia85: I will have to pull some kind of underhanded sneaky trick
realsarasaturn: that's just hilarious
realsarasaturn: really
aleia85: Like when I see you, scream Sarah! =D and glomp you
aleia85: You cant hurt somone who is happy to see you, ne?
aleia85: XD
realsarasaturn: you evil spawn of the lowest deepest crevices of hell
aleia85: XD
realsarasaturn: damn you more than you already have been damned!
aleia85: XD
realsarasaturn: -____-
aleia85: And you still love me.
aleia85: *grins*
aleia85: *pokes her*
realsarasaturn: yes i do
Ahh....good times, good times. *smiles*
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