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In response to Azure's comment, I know he has good intentions.
But I am more...able than what he believes. I know that for a fact, and the only thing I can do is prove him wrong.
Or just up and leave, as there really isnt anything making me stay, per se. I would only alienate the only blood relatives I have, save my siblings, and for something so drastic, I would rather save for something not so petty, if neccessary at all.
I feel pretty suffocated, but I guess that isnt the point. =\
The day right before I left, my fanatical aunt (my uncle is my dad's brother, and this aunt is my dad's sister) really let loose on me about stuff. Begining with how staying was good for me, I could stay in NJ, find a good Muslim guy to marry, settle close to here, have kids.
I say that was the defining moment of...where things couldnt possibly get anywhere but worse.
Especially after I said...stuff, and then she said stuff that was like a slap in the face. Including a lot of "Because you dont cover your face and arms, you are going to hell" thrown in, when it got to the religion part. For me, enough was enough when she said that all my problems would be solved, nothing bad would happen to me, if I covered, fasted, and prayed to God. I pointed out about my dad. He fasted, he prayed, he helped so many people expecting nothing in return, he is a good guy. Look where he is now. I was going to say more, but she started shouting, to be heard over my reasoning.
It ended with me parking the car near the house, her ranting and raving in the backseat, and me getting out, telling her to lock the door when she was done. She got out, still ranting, and I snuck back into my car, and responsibly sped out towards the laundromat (where we were, previously). The way she threw her hands up in the air right as I left, I knew I was gonna catch something when I got back. I figured it was in her, to start up an angry rant in Arabic, the second she got through the door.
And she did.
Suprisingly, she was told off by my American aunts, for springing the subject of religion right after the sore news of school, and for making me wear the scarf to meet her friends, and the grief they give me, when they see me when she isnt making me wear it.
My uncle quietly agreed, untill she said the part where I replied about how I hated guys, especially Egyptian ones, and that the Arab culture sucked.
Then he got pretty angry.
But his wife said I was right. She went off on some kind of list, begining with that Egyptian guys following the Arab culture generally have no tact...and the list goes on.
Oddly, that calmed him down.
;;;
When I got home, three hours later (Yes, it honestly took that long to wash my blanket. No, I wasnt in a hurry. <.<;; ) I expected some sort of ruckus to be about. I think the calm and silence scared me more, as it most certainly wasnt what I was expecting. I snuck in through the kitchen, where my two aunts explained to me what happend.
I know my fanatical aunt didnt mean any harm by all that she said. No...well, maybe it was also that she kept saying "Aleia, habibti (an Arabic term of endearment, generally meaning dearest, my love), I love you and I dont want to see you burn in hell". Frankly, I had to keep myself from laughing when she kept saying it, and I find it a tad morbid that I find that funny, but I know what she means.
I mention all that *points up* because things are a bit tense now. I get all anxiouse every time my uncle comes home, because I am afraid he is going to start up the religion thing with me. I know it is only a matter of time, and I feel like I am walking on eggshells. A ticking time bomb. And there are times when situations are so quietly obviouse they practically scream in neon lights.
*holds head in hands*
Things could be worse, much much worse. Therefore, I am not complaining.
Just...stressed. But honestly, who isnt?
Interesting thing. Driving through Conneticut, I saw a sign about to get to Sacred Heart College, exit 24, and the words Sacred Heart made me think of Ben. Of course, I could be wrong about the name of his school, as I am all jumbly about my misinformation as of late, but yeah. =P
For some reason, it is really hard for me to believe in a few short months, I will never be a teenager again. Like I am leaving behind a stage of sorts. The stage of...I dunno.
...Maybe more about that later. There is a lot about it I am still not sure of.
Yesterday I checked out the book Farenheit 451.
A very very good book.
After I finished reading it, it was night, and left me in an odd contemplating mood, with many mixed feelings.
I think I like it when a book does that to me.
Then soon after, I started up To Kill A Mockingbird. I finally finished it around 1pm-ish today.
*sighs*
It made me wish I knew of these books long before. I recommend both to everyone litterate.
*cough* Yeah...
My aunt that lives in NY invited me to sleep over on Thursday, after everyone goes along for the big shopping trip planned. She kept saying she has a computer (I remembered) and internet (broadband).
It made me sad, because I think she is lonely =\
So, yeah. Aleia will grace AIM with her presence Thursday evening.
>:)
Did you know:
The bullfrog is the only animal that never sleeps?
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