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The last post, I am a bit better off at the moment. I was pretty overwhelmed by things, and I purposly avoided talking to people on the phone/IRL untill I had more controle over myself, as it would be not good to have peole call me and all I would be able to do is cry and half incoherently burden them with my stuff.
Or to call people and do the same.
Like I said before, people already have their own stuff to deal with, and I of all people dont need to be adding to it. I am not making myself an island, as that would be a most stupid quest.
When I am out in broad daylight, walking on the sidewalk, if I see a guy that looks un-teenager-ish, especially middle aged and old guys, I keep a watchfull eye on him, especially if he is by himself, not with somone else, talking, ect. When he passes me, I immedietly strain to make sure his footsteps are walking in regular rythm away from me. If I hear somone walking from behind me, I get extremely panicky, and I have to strain to keep myself from turning around, walking in the street, or breaking out into a run.
If it is night, forget it. I walk in the street, or cross to the other sidewalk, and I purposly cling to well-lit overly crowded areas, 'specially places with women and kids.
I start school in the begining of January. It is a silly 6-7 blocks, easily walkable, takes like 20-25 minutes at the most. I cant drive there, as there is no parking at all, and I have a coat, so no excuses for walking. But for the reasons above, I am terrified about school. And no one around me understands why I am anxiouse. >.< And I cant run around with my cellphone in my pocket, finger on the instant dial button for 911 in case something happends, because that is unrealistic.
Ah well. I have to deal somehow. I will live, so yeah. *shrugs*
On to other things...
Later gators. *gently flicks your forehead*
Did you know:
One brow wrinkle is the result of 200,000 frowns.
Let that be a lesson to you. *nods*
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