myOtaku.com: lea2385

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Birthday
• 1985-02-23
Gender
• Female
Location
• Somewhere near over there, yo!
Member Since
• 2003-08-27
Occupation
• Studying Hobology
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• ^_~

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Achievements
• Being able to leave the country with the record I have accumulated-I mean- What? =X
Anime Fan Since
• I can remember
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• To become the one and only greatest Hobo. Ever.
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• A little of most things. ;D
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myOtaku.com: lea2385

Thursday, March 3, 2005

Aleia, rendered speechless?

People: OMG!111 You mean there was a time when Aleia had nothing to say? Nothing at all??!?!?!

Yeah, it's been proven once before ^_~

~~~~~~~~~~

I was walking home yesterday late afternoon, when I noticed two people standing still amist the swarm of people rushing in all different directions.

The tall guy was leaning with his back against the brick building wall, staring off into the distance, while the shorter girl had her cheek against his chest, her eyes closed. They were both holding each other, and the whole scene seemed surreal. They were quiet and still, while everyone and everything around them was in constant motion, chatting on cellphones, talking loudly to the people around them, honking, beeping, cursing. And there they were, in a seperate world that's still within this one.

I noticed all this within a 10-15 second time period.

*shrugs* I dunno, maybe I am weird for noticing stuff like that. I dont think I know of anyone else that does.

Last night, talked to a dear friend that I hadn't talked to in a long while.

...And she isnt doing that well. She's actually pretty sick. And when she told me one of the ways she was sick...

I..

was...

speechless.

And really scared. Her whole life, everything is changed from less than 5 months ago, when she left. Everything...changed... so...fast.

And it's so weird, around sometime in December/January, I suddenly realized how much it would really suck/be completely devastating if the first time you had sex, you got some kind of STD, or worse, AIDS.

Heh. She doesnt have enough money to go to any doctor, so she only knows the general class of one of the ways she is sick.

I wish there was a way I could help. But there isnt anything I could do, nothing that I can think of, anyways. =\

The whole convo got me to thinking about how even the smallest decisions, they can change everything so that you might not be able to go back. I mean, once you go down certain pathways, there is no way of turning back, undoing what decision you chose. It's the same with words; there are some things, once you say them, you cant ever take them back. There are some things that once you say them, they change things forever, and there is no turning back to the way things were before.

And that can be good and bad, both and seperate.

It has me thinking about big decisions I have to make about myself, the direction of where I want my life to go. I mean, here I am talking about little decisions that can actually make a difference, just think of the enormity of the huge drastic life altering ones. You cant be careless about them, but there isnt any use in excessivly dwelling on them either.

I think the best way is to listen to yourself, your inside. I mean, of course you're going to be scared, even just a little. But there is a difference between real fear and being scared. If you feel inside real fear, because even a small part inside thinks it's the wrong thing to do, then you either need more time to think things out, or it really is the wrong thing to do. If you feel scared, but you feel that it's the best, you have an answer for everything, you feel some confidence, then it's all systems go.

What I mean to say is that only you know what's best for you, ya know? You have a lot of the answers to your stuff inside; you just have to learn how to listen for them.

Edit:

How ironic is it, that a week after that stuff happend to me, we have to read an essay in our English book titled "A peaceful Woman Explains Why She Carries a Gun", written by a lady who explains that mace is illegal where she lives; a neighbor that used her CB for help ended up with a rapist that raped and beat her; how she took extensive martial arts classes and then it was in the news about several women who were extremely well trained in martial arts, but were raped and beaten anyways, and all this is why she carries a gun. Just showing it gives her level ground; she's never had to use it yet.

Hmm....

*raises eyebrow and contemplates*

Something to think about, indeed.

...I cant believe it's March, already.

...And I cant believe Thursday is almost over. 0.o;;

Where did all the time go?

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