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Walked home yesterday; step in the door and I could feel a heavy type of tension that suddenly made me panicky and anxious. A quick glance around the living room, and there is my uncle, sitting on the couch watching Arabic tv, and my panicky-ness suddenly made sense. *wrinkles nose*
I mumbled a quick greeting in Arabic and practically ran into the hallway.
<.<;;
I could tell he was in a funny mood. Like funny-bad kind.
I wanted to go to sleep, because I was tired and didn’t feel all that well. It was around 7pm, I sleep on the couch in the living room, and besides the fact that almost everyone in the house had congregated in that particular room, my uncle was still in there. And I was kindasorta avoiding him, so going in there would pretty much defeat my purpose, yeah?
I sat on one of my boy cousins’ beds, in their bedroom, wondering about whether I should just make myself stay awake, when I heard the youngest boy cousin (Omar), who was in the living room with his dad and just about every one else, say “Baba, Summer told me not to tell anyone, especially not you, but Summer said her dad doesn’t like you.”
Youngest girl cousin who’s 5 (Maryam): Yeah, Summer told me too, that her dad doesn’t like you!
Uncle: *laughs* And why doesn’t Summer’s dad like me?
Omar: Oh, I dunno. Summer just said that.
Uncle: *chuckles some more*
Maryam: Oh, I know why. It’s because you kicked Aleia out.
Everyone in the living room: …..
Inside Aleia’s head: …..Oh shit.
Uncle: *in a stern voice* Maryam, I don’t want you or Fatima (Maryam’s sister) to talk to Summer again.
Aleia: *curls up in bed and feels like she’s going to throw up*
Haha, like I wanted him to talk to me/speech me, after hearing something like that.
I think I fell asleep around 7ish, and woke up around 10. I woke up to the sound of my uncle grouching, and going into his bedroom, where he argued with his wife until 12:30, when she stormed out, yelling something and slamming the door. The whole entire time, I sat in the living room, listening to their arguing, and catching drifts of my name quite a bit, in the first few hours that felt like a condensed version of forever. I knew the argument was about me at first, and ended up ending about religion in general, but I felt so bad for my aunt. They both argue a lot, and it’s usually started with the subject of her kids or me, and always ends in argument about their different views on their religion.
My aunt is much more liberal than my uncle. And not because my uncle is almost an extremist and many compared to him would be considered liberal. I mean, liberal to the point that if I was to become a Muslim again, I’d be very much like her.
My aunt, she’s a good person. She uses her mind, I agree with a lot of her views on stuffs, and she is too nice to me.
Eventually, she ended up coming out to the living room, to sleep. We talked for a few hours, and she said about how my uncle, he isn’t going to kick me out. Heh, I couldn’t hope for such a thing.
My uncle is bent on “fixing” me. He isn’t going to kick me out; the man is on a religious mission to make Aleia a better person; to force her on the right path.
;;;;
*feels a tad on the anxious and sick side*
God help me. Please.
The next morning, I was talking to the NY aunt. I was pretty sick, with anxiety, because I was afraid that he would catch me sometime today, to speech me. I told her that just as I finally had some sort of plan, for when my day to leave would be, he changes his mind and says that I’m not leaving for a long, long time.
NY aunt: Kinda like that song, Hotel in California. =D
Aleia:…
NY aunt: Haha, sorry. I know, it’s an old song, you probably never heard it before.
Aleia: No, I’ve heard it a few times before. See, I was just thinking this place was more along the lines of those poisonous bug traps. You know, “They check in, but they don’t check out”?
NY aunt: XD!
Aleia: ;;;;
The hard thing about everything, is finding a realistic solution, what is best for me, what I should do. I already know what I don’t want/can’t do. I don’t want to join the JobCorp program; I don’t want to/can’t stay here, and I can’t live with my mom.
I need to finish school, I need to earn money.
And my car needs fixed much more than I do. >.<
Maybe I need to find meself some connections ;P
“I fart in your general direction! Your mom is a hamster and your father smells of Elderberries! XP”
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