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I ran hard into a wall I never saw comming 0.0
I was so sure of my decision...I even tried it out for a few days. Now the only thing stopping me is if I go through with what I decided, my family could end up homeless (We don't own the property that we live on =\ ). Can I really make such a selfish decision? Do I even have the right to risk something like that, when technically I am not being hurt at this moment? When I distance myself from things, it seems I am the only one that is hurting me now, as I replay everything like a sick horror film in my mind, 24 hours, 7 days a week.
Speaking of horror films, the police called me today. As it turns out, because I 'was going too fast for road conditions', I am getting a thing that is going on my record, and I have to pay the state a minimum of $105.00. But, because the police officer wasn't able to talk to me all that much before I was whisked away by the ambulance, I have to pay a bit more than $105.00, because the fine has to be mailed to me. They had me give them my insurance information, they are going to inform them, and I think my insurance is going to skyrocket....
Do you know what I realized? I am a downer. I know some things can't be helped, but I am afraid that I make others miserable, by being all miserably whiney and bleh. I don't want pity; I just kinda now realize that as a fact. I mean, talking to somone who seems to always be down, troubled and depressed doesn't sound like all that much fun for company, no?
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