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six guys are playing poker. after losing $500 on one hand, smith clutches his chest and topples over, dead at the table. to decide who's going to tell his wife, his buddies draw straws. anderson picks the shortest one.
"break it to her gently" they urge.
"leave it to me" he says.
when smith's wife comes to the door, anderson says, "your husband just lost $500 playing cards."
"HOW MUCH??" the wife yells, eyes blazing. "tell him to drop dead!!"
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A pregnant woman lapses into a coma. She awakens and frantically calls for the doctor. "You had twins, a boy and a girl. they're fine," He says. "Your brother named them"
*Oh, no*, the new mother thinks. *he is an idiot.* expecting the worst, she asks,"Whats the girl's name?"
"Denise" the doctor says.
*Not bad* she thinks. *I guess I was wrong about him* "and the boy?"
"DeNephew"
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Phil visits his doctor after weeks of not feeling well.
"i have bad news," says the doctor. "you don't have long to live."
"how long hae i got?" asks a distraught phil.
"ten," the doctor says sadly.
"ten? ten what? months? days?"
the doctor interrupts, "nine..." |
