Wednesday, May 10, 2006

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Current Time: 9:40 PM Current Music: Passion (Slow Version) – Hikaru Utada Current Mood: Greatly Confused. --:Lyrics:-- Omoidaseba haruka haruka Mirai wa doko mademo kagayaiteta Kirei na aozora no shita de Bokura wa sukoshi dake obieteta If I recall, far far away The future was shining on everywhere Beneath the beautiful blue sky We were just a little afraid Natsukashii iro ni Mado ga somaru The window will be tinted A nostalgic color Mae wo muitereba mata aemasu ka Mirai wa doko edemo tsuduiterunda Ookina kanban no shita de Jidai no utsuroi wo miteitai na If we advance forth, can we ever meet again? The future goes on to everywhere Under the large signboard How I want to keep watching the eras changing Nido to aenu hito ni basho ni Mado wo akeru I will open a window To the people and places I can’t see again Omoidaseba haruka haruka Mirai wa doko mademo kagayaiteta Kirei na aozora no shita de Bokura wa itsu mademo nemutteita If I recall, far far away The future was shining on everywhere Beneath the beautiful blue sky We were slumbering forever Zutto mae ni suki datta hito Fuyu ni kodomo ga umareru sou da Mukashi kara no kimari goto wo Tama ni ukagaitaku naru yo Zutto wasurerarenakatta no Nengajou wa shashin tsuki kana Watashitachi ni dekinakatta koto wo Totemo natsukashiku omou yo The person I liked since long ago I heard will bear a child in winter What were decided since long ago I sometimes would want to doubt them The ones I could never forget Does the New Year’s card have photographs attached? I think very nostalgically Of what we couldn’t do (My fears my lies) (My fears my lies) --:Lyrics:-- The other day, I saw a lifeless lizard without a tail be devoured be a crow. The next day, I saw two crows doing the do, and you know what? All of that got me thinking about my existence and the bizarre occurrences that seem to heavily coat it. I realized that I no longer know who I am, and no longer know where my future is going. Things as of late have gotten moderately interesting in my life, and as much as I would like to go into all of that, I’m just not the kind of person to go all out in extreme detail. Don’t get me wrong, I may end up trickling into bits and pieces of it. I feel my life gradually slipping through my fingers as it hangs on to the minute fringes that are left of who I used to be. My mom asked me if I wanted to watch The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants with her. I looked at her strangely and walked off, but I didn’t make it too far before she started to shriek at me. I have too many of my own problems to worry about then to deal with her, so I opted for Option A – give mom a cynical statement about the realities of the world and explain how this particular movie does nothing for me. Movies are escapes from the world that we are forced to deal with, and I find that I like movies that actually have some tangible aspect to it, not some fairy tale. More and more it seems like all people do now is look for a way to not have to deal with the world, and it’s so obvious that it’s because everyone knows that the current state of the world is so horridly repulsive that all we do is attempt to cover it up. I’m the kind of person who thought that I would never be ‘in love’ or have anyone that would care for me like I had seen with other people, and you know...that was okay with me for the longest time, until I ran smack dab into love a few years back. I’ve never been the same since then...you know, it’s like once I got a taste of it, I’ve always been searching for that feeling again. To be happy is a great thing, but I don’t understand why most people ‘need’ love to accomplish this. Isn’t there a way that people can be happy without relying so heavily on emotion? Alas, this would lead to more complications. *sigh* Just something, I’m always thinking about. Sometimes I wonder if I'll end up being a graphic artist or a psychologist because I think and try to analysis the human brain so much. It’s just mind-bottling to me I guess. Speaking of love, I seem to have been caught by love’s deadly kiss as I find myself in a relationship with a person of...short stature. I know she will be mad to see that I wrote that, but there’s not much she can do about that since she’s the one with the bad report card. *rolls-eyes* I never thought of myself to be much of a lovely person, and it’s hard for me to express love publicly, but I do nonetheless to the liking of this particular uke ha. Ahem. *clears throat* I hate talking about stuff like love, it’s such a touchy subject, and so I now choose to move on to other things. My sleeping patterns have changed yet again. It’s really weird because I feel really exhausted by nine o’clock and lay down only to find that I am not tired...It’s annoying because then I fall asleep and cease to pay attention in class. I regaining some really bad habits, I hope the don’t follow me to next year because that would be devastating as I now have a chance to enter next year as a senior of finish high school in three years. Bad habits...I hate them, but you want to know something else I hate? I hate seeing the people I care most about in pain physical, mentally, or emotionally. It just makes me feel just as bad as they do. I like to think that my friends would come to me if something was wrong, but when I’m in a bad mood, I generally don’t want to tell other people, so how can I expect that of them? I can’t, and that just irritates me for some reason, often leading to more conflicts...the lines between love and hate and friends and enemies are very thin and almost impossible to stay on it without straying. Ah, but how boring would life be if there were not the ups and downs. Siris:Lemony, you’ve grown a lot. You know that? I guess I haven’t really noticed as my thoughts have been occupied with other things. Oh, yeah, I’m sure. *huggles thief* How you been doing? Siris:Must I really answer that question...you know of the difficulties that plague my current life. Well, happy-do to you too. Siris:*walks off to go play with Rajah* I find it becoming increasingly difficult to post daily and so I have decided that I will at least try to update weekly, if you find me slacking on that, feel free to smack me. Oh my, did I tell you guys I got a car finally? I don’t think I did, so I will now. I GOT A CAR. I now have transportation to the many places I go. xD My computer, school, and work. Yes, I need transportation to my computer. That’s it for this little bit of an update. I still need to do a lot of my homework, and it’s already almost eleven. Oh gee, I’m getting worst at procrastinating. --Lemony

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