Friday, August 13, 2004

'His dimensional theory sounds like some old soak making things up just to sound clever. Like all Physics.' Scary Go Round


Wow. Today was the bludgiest day in the history of this term. I mean, even the teachers didn't have the same zeal for edumucation as they usually do.

Ancient History was fun, we sat in the library and did research, I swear. Actually, I spent time with my Ancient threesome partners and we rabbited on about the wiles and ways of a Downlands social life.

Mind you, most of what Lauren and Lydia were saying went straight over my head. Meh, we're all still dirty, dirty Ancient people. Archeologists do it in the dirt, doncherknow.

;p

Lunch was interesting, we managed to spend most of it throwing the hackey around, and having more photo's taken for Ai, and her friend Yomoko, who suddenly appeared and started hanging around with us.

Japanese people are so cute. lol.

Ai was very quiet and respectful the whole time she was here, but Yomoko was all smiles and and extroverted behaviour.

Yomoko managed to get Ai fully out of her shell, and they were both giggling about something or other during lunch. Yomoko spent her time asking for photos with us boys. I'm not surprised, seeing she was about 2/3 to 3/4 our height.

lol. She was a bit of a spader too.

Through english [last period of the day], Yomoko was whispering and giggling with Ai, while looking at Mark.

I leant over and muttered, 'hello. Someone wants to investigate your pants.'

'Shut up shut up. Give me your calculator, I want something to do...'

..so he plays on my graphics calculator, and then dismantles my stapler, which no longer goes back together.

lol

Lydia 'Mark. I think Yomoko is a bit interested' [Slightly altered for the youngun's. Lydia is more than direct when she wants to be, lol]

Ellinore confiscated my hackey, so I was unable to play with that. Curses. But I did manage to get it back.

End of the school day, one last photo before saying goodbye, somehow I got a 'I love you' from Ai, and a suggestive wink from Yomoko.

I'm assuming it was a dare.

lol.

I think.

*cough*

Got more articles for my english article, so I'll do that tomorrow after the LAN.

I'm just way too braindead tonight to work on it. I just want to melt into a warm puddle of sleepyness.

Oo! We've got a whole lot of new DVD's to watch, including the original Gone in Sixty Seconds [best car chase ever] and The Italian Job.

We got a couple others as well. WOW! just has the cheapest DVD's. And they're also going to order in some of Jackie Chan's original movies. Sweet. I'm going to see some crazy nazi action again!

^_^

EDIT: Flogging Molly gets Liam's thumbs up approval as being the best Irish band in the history of the world. I heard some of their pirate songs, courtesy of Micklestickle at school, and just found one of their music vids on their site.

So good. ['Salty Dog' I do believe the song was called..]

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Thursday, August 12, 2004

'God I love weasels, but do they really need an aquaduct?' Scary Go Round


Whoever decided that grade twelves shouldn't be allowed to hand in drafts or ask for teacher advice, deserves to live in interesting times.

My feature article on the lack of support for Sudan is more like an angsty old man's letter to the editor.

Or more akin to the completely biased trollop I wrote on Otaku.

lol

Bah. It's due in a week's time, and I have no idea how I'm going to pull off an A, let alone a C.

Ah well. I still have Maths B, the English Oral, Ancient History, Art and Religion to do yet.

[HA! Religion]

And, this weekend, the Halo Toowoomba comp was cancelled, owing to the fact there would only be two players, both being me and Cameron.

lol

Cam's decided to just ring up a bunch of people and have a LAN match.

Meh. Still Halo.

School was interesting today. Ellinore took a bunch of photos for Ai [Japanese Student] of us, so I'll get some copies and post them up here some time.

You'll finally be able to see the illustrious rat-pack!

...and various others at school.

*dances around in honour blazer*

After school I was insulted by two seperate groups of year 9/10's, which was amusing as I responded rather well.

'Ooo! Nerds! Terrabyte! Gigabyte! How many gigs does your computer have? Gayy!' [falsetto voice]

'Helloooo boys! My computer has a lot of gig, how about yours?' [High stereotypical 'gay' voice]

'...I don't have a computer!'

'You know what I mean! Rowr!'

'...'

'You boys just go get all nice and sweaty at your footy training. Be careful in the shower afterwards, don't drop the soap!'

*three boys walk away, completely wigged out*

Barely three minutes later, still walking to Tat's shop, two more football players pass Jeorge, Toby and I.

'Tooooby, Jeorge with a J...some gay faggot I don't even know..' [He was completely unaware of the previous conversation.]

Now, I'm sick of this sort of thing, and I'm at a stage now that I will not regret returning a punch if it comes to it.

I stopped, turned around, stood inches from his face, leant in and said, 'well, do you want to make something of it?'

I've never seen so much blood vacate a person's face before. lol.

'Uh. *coughs, tough guy voice again* I was only joking around..'

So hard not to laugh.

*bursts out laughing*

Authoritive voices rock. You don't need to be physically threatening if you're senior, and you sound like your philosophy is,

'I don't care whether or not I win or lose. The satisfaction knowing that you'll never have children will keep me warm at night.'

~_^

..video games made me violent. >.< [but idiots made me apathetic to the consequences.]

*waves*

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Tuesday, August 10, 2004

'I had a go at Microsoft Office. It weren't as good as Gran Turismo.' Scary Go Round


I've got five pieces of assessment, woo.

I guess its not as bad as seven.

Crazy, just crazy.

Most of mine are due one after the other, so lots of work.

..I should be doing it now, but I haven't updated for an age, so it'll be short and sweet.

This saturday I would be doing lots of work on my English feature article, but I have an already planned event [scheduled a month or two ago] involving some ass-whuppin'

Halo is good. Haven't played it for a month or two either.

It was going to just be a social 4 on 4 match, but our a member of our team has discovered that there's a Toowoomba Xbox Halo match this Saturday, and we're going.

[We've only played together once before. Cam and I are the only ones who really know how the other plays..so it should be fun...ny..for the other players...x.X;;]

Apparently if we win, we get sent to the Sydney National championships, and if we win there [HA! I laugh at you!] we get sent to Los Angeles.

o.O;

That would be soooo sweet.

Pity I'd have to skip out on grade 12, lol.

I doubt we'll win the trip to Sydney, but it'll be fun to play against decent players for once.

[No offence to Bismark, but seriously. Dude. Sniper shot through two skulls in a warthog, and then the gunner. lol]

So much fun.

Also, Juu and I swapped little voice messages, and her hot english accent really surprised me.

o.O;

Apparently I also belong to her now, hence the new message *points*

ACK! ASSIGNMENTS!

*scurries away to read Socialist Worker and prepare feature article on the Sudanese crisis
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Friday, August 6, 2004

'I tried to get addicted to something even cooler than smokes. You know, so I wouldn't want to smoke. But I tell you, the fifth time you pop a wheelie in a double decker bus, it doesn't even feel like you're doing it.' Scary Go Round


It's the weekend, I'm tired, I feel like I haven't had a decent catching up of sleepness for two weeks.

Which is true. Damn early mornings.

Lucky enough for me, seminary wasn't on this morning so I didn't have to get up early. I got a whole extra hour of sleep.

Bleh.

I still was incredibly lethargic today. Everything went in one ear, made perfect sense, then flew out the other and letting me realise that each individual word made sense, just not the sentence that succored them.

lol

I put my head down on the lunch table, got comfortable, and dozed off without even intending to. That's what I call a power nap.

At one stage I woke up to find Hannah rubbing my back, which was much goodness.

The worst part was lifting my head up about five minutes before the bell and getting blinded.

AAAH! NATURAL LIGHT!

I zoned out completely in Physics, but halfway through the next period [Religion last period on a Friday, lol], I woke up a little and realised I was also really, really bored.

Mark and Deyve were sitting on the other side of the class, throwing stuff at people [We're mature seniors] a video on 'Euthenasia' was playing [boring with a capital 'it sucks'].

What did I do?

What would any sane year 12 would do?

[That's going back to sleep, by the way]

Nope, I fished around in my bag and pulled out my hackey-sack.

Mark and I proceeded to play catch, as we were both sitting at opposite sides of the classroom, it was pretty interesting.

Mrs Sturgeon didn't even notice, until Deyve threw it and hit the window. And threw it to Tom when he wasn't paying attention.

Then he threw it to me, when I wasn't looking, so it hit the window and made a really loud bang.

Mrs Sturgeon isn't that stupid.

She didn't know what was going on, but she knew Deyve had thrown something.

Thus ended our game of catch.

However, a game of 'Standing Chicken' started, which consists of standing up for as long as you can, without being caught.

Didn't work, seeing as Mrs Sturgeon went right back to her book and didn't look up once.

lol

Have I mentioned my friends are the coolest in the history of the world?

Also I saw Linette after school, in all her short-Uni-coolness-glory, and she gave me teh biggest hug, ever. So nyeh.

What else?

Because of being a Marshall Eistedfod last night I wasn't home till late, so no journal entry or email checking. [School computers have blocked hotmail]

I got home and found out that Brie has broken up with me or whatever [I still have no idea whether we were officially going out or not.], and now Luke's her boyfriend.

And when I got online, she apologised profusely to me, and said that, and I quote, 'you are killing me here Liam. I don't think you understand how much I want you, how much I care for you...'

Wow.

The thing is, her email that told me she was going out with Luke now, didn't affect me in the slightest, the conversation between my brain and emotions was pretty much,

'Oh no, we're quite happy here, thank you very much, but we could do with a bit of a nap and a crumpet my good chap..'

Don't ask me why my emotions speak with an upperclass English accent.

I guess it decided a while back that this was going to happen, and might as well configure my response for minimal damage.

It sucks, because I have no idea how I feel about this, and the comfort thing is annoying me.

I'm hurt about it. But I still love her, and I guess all that waffle is me just trying to convince myself I don't...

Bah.

Well, it looks like I'm no longer 'unofficially/officially attached' anymore, and am a free man.

Good thing 'toldi's party is on tomorrow night.

I'll get some nibblies, some sauerkraut maybe. Maybe, if I have time, I'll get lucky and get some icecream.

Man, that'd be sweet.

^_^

Oh wait. We've got icecream here. I completely forgot about that.

Oo! We're having nachos tonight!

*cough*

Ten points for being random and petting the mongoose.

EDIT: Pirate t-shirts! Gimme Gimme Gimme! Check out the Swashbuckler one. Hint Hint.
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Wednesday, August 4, 2004

'Copper Edge is nice. They rob you and then shoot you so you don't feel sad.'


Mark's helping me with my Physics. It turns out I actually don't know anything, which is as almost as surprising as a special episode of Neighbours.

lol

So yeah. We'll probably be helping out with the Eistedfod tomorrow night, so we'll be able to go over the prac and diagnostic stuff then.

Not to mention my religion class, lol.

Damn. Something really bad has happened to Brie.

Her parents are divorced, and remarried to other people, and her mother and step dad are moving to Hong Kong in a week or so.

She would stay with her Dad, but, get this, he's disowned her.

I'm really at a loss what to say. I'm basically just supporting her best I can, but I don't have any answers to her problem.

x.x;

I like being supportive. It's the one thing I can do well for other people.

Damn. I thought using education for evil was supposed to be fun..
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Tuesday, August 3, 2004

'What this brave new world needs is a five dollar plasma weapon.'


Random stuff happened today that really made me appreciate my school. It's one of the things I miss next year.

The most important part of the day was the 'act like mature adults in our honour blazers...while pushing and shoving each other off the rocks that edge the garden..'

I'm not ashamed to admit that it was good fun.

^_^;

A lot of other stuff happened, but I'm too lazy to write it.

Anyhow, I stacked and arranged my boxes for Art, but I didn't drape the parachute over it, owing to the fact that it was big. And havingness of strings.

But I took photos.









Enjoy yo'selves. Maybe I should be evil and use the art room's digital camera for evil purposes, such as photos of me...ehehe..

You people have dirty minds.

lol
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Monday, August 2, 2004

'Demon barber! You will not collect my hair for your satanic rituals, take your cursed shampoo with you back to the pit!'



I’m tired. Pure and simple. I’ve reached the abyss of University subject selection and I have found myself severely lacking in the skills I need to bridge it.

If I managed five B’s, I would approximately get an OP 7, that’s if I did well in the QCS. Currently I have two B’s, three mid to high C’s and one mid D. I attempt and I am overwhelmed. I struggle and I am befuddled. Ego peto, ego dumtaxat fungor invenio. I seek, I do not find.

I don’t know what it is. For some reason I just cannot excel to the level I need. The most simple of problems cause me to stumble. At home I cannot do my homework because I don’t know where to start.

I was going to do Radiology, I was going to do Forensics, I was going to do Social Work, I was going to do Psychology. I was going to do a lot of things, but I don’t think I can. I could do Psychology, but when I proposed it to my parents, I was informed, ‘don’t do that. Psychologists are considered a joke in hospitals. Everyone does Psychology and then ends up unemployed because all the jobs are taken.’

I sat with the QTAC book and realised that if I wanted to do anything with my life at University, it would involve a useless business subject that I wouldn’t understand, and no-one ever uses. My mother sat and went through the stupid thing and kept reading out useless degrees that I wouldn’t have even been able to comprehend.

I’m back to medicine, but I know I can’t hack it. I know that I will not have a life after seventeen years, I know I will do nothing but work, I know I’ll never see my children grow up, or talk to my wife.

I know I’m going to struggle and hurt and weep. So perché l'esperienza recente me insegna cosí. I know because recent experience teaches me so.

The wave is back. I’m struggling, but I don’t want to. According to the 2003 Jobguide, I have all the qualities of an excellent author.

According to last term’s report card, I am a ‘quiet, unassuming young man who is very highly respected by his peers…his ministry and leadership...has been outstanding’

I’m sure being a great guy is a incredibly important part of everyday money-making. Being respected doesn’t count for diddly-squat, unless I have the credentials to back it up.

I just can’t achieve. I can’t analyse properly, I cannot do Maths B equations without relying heavily on my notes, the easiest part of the Physics curriculum escapes me, my essays lack depth, I struggle to resolve concepts into a tangible form, but I’m a really great guy.

Smile to the abyss and see the demons waving back.

After twelve years education, all I have to show for it is wasted time, repeated mistakes, and a flippant waste of resources my parents don’t have.
I have to perform better, because for some stupid…stupid reason, I’m my brother’s role model. He believes I can walk on water, and the only reason why I’m not is because I haven’t tried hard enough.

I’ve drowned so many times I can’t bring myself to tell him the truth.

I read my Patriarchal Blessing. All the clues and hints and advice were written there in black and white, blatantly obvious. I should have attended seminary more, I didn’t balance my school life with my church life.

A third part of my mind keeps believing that someday I’ll just wake up and know everything I need to know, as though the ‘~’ key were pressed and ‘Liam->setskill’ was adjusted.

It’s not happening. I ignored the hint file to my life, until I had squandered all my opportunities to change.

Effectively I have reverted my entire life to a pathetic excuse for a metaphor.

I’ve told you that I’m sick and tired of being told I’m a bright boy, I told you I’m tired of being told that if I try harder that I might just meet the limit. I am sick and tired, but I put up with it because the alternative is unmentionable.

My parents have such an unfounded love and respect for me, an honest, unshakeable, knowledge that I can excel, I can do something, that it sickens me that I’ve squandered so much at school. I’ve wept. I can be depressed and easily recover, but this just pushed me over. I wept. I wept for my brother, my grandfather, my parents, and everyone who’s ever had some sort of hope for me. Mostly I selfishly wept for myself, because I just can’t do it. I can’t see a future for myself.

My mother believes that if I get a tutor, I’ll somehow be able to pass Physics, and improve Chem. I don’t want her to keep spending money on me, I’ve taken so much, and I’ve wasted so much.

I don’t feel good, if you haven’t guessed already. I hate being a tick.

I suck so much.

The whole moment has just passed through me so quickly that I don’t feel anything anymore. I feel…I just…I don’t want to do anything, but the thought of that hurts even more. Education isn’t black and white to me like it is to everyone else. I feel like the only reason why I pass is because of pre-programmed knowledge that refuses to be added to. Damn ROM.

Damn bloody Tom. He’s the only one that’s really noticed me for who I really am as a student. Useless. Just bloody useless. I blame my faults on a teacher that galls me, and get frustrated because, for some reason, when I’m in class and am trying to concentrate, I suddenly blink and find myself two minutes later, not having recalled anything that has been said, having written down five lines of notes I don’t know about, but having an avid recollection of whatever the hell happened at lunch.
Must be ADD or something. Everything was so easy in primary school. I’ve gone back over my report cards and have found that, right up to the end of grade 10, I was a great academic student. Suddenly in senior, I just, fail.

I’ve left everything so late…

My eyes sting from salt, but my Maths B is done.

I have no idea what I’m going to do next year. I’ll be moving to Brisbane, but UQ will not have let me into any of their courses.

I can’t believe how incredibly elitist I was. I’m such a wannabe academic. I hang around with people that have achievable plans, my best friend is the academic of the school, and the rest are in the top 10-20%. Hell, my friends are the top 10-20%.

But I’m very highly respected.

And I'm great at getting along with people.

My school life bloody sucks.

EDIT: In case you're wondering, no, I haven't told Brie, and I don't think I will.

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Friday, July 30, 2004

'That's a jar of my spit. I have no idea how that got in there.'



Crazy female stalkers need to leave me alone. I mean, even with my cover of acne that even resists my 80% ethanol eryacne stuff [it evapourates on your skin, leaving behind the chemicals. It comes in a metal tube, be very afraid] combined with the power of my Doxycycline tablets, she's still really pushy.

Back to the acne thing. I would get stronger tablets, but according to my GP, the next level of strength contains strong side-effects, such as lack of concentration and heavy fatigue. Fun.

[She believes it's all stress induced. I don't feel stressed, so one look at the mirror tells me exactly how freaked out my subconscious is..]

Anyhow. Stalker. It all started at a stake youth dance a couple months ago. A friend of mine in the other ward, Anne, and I were talking, and then she introduced her friend and we basically hung out for a while.

The friend and I got talking and we found out we had a few things in common and we swapped email addresses, I thought it would be nice to have a friend down in Ipswich.

*points to self* NAIVE!

The emails started. All about whether or not if I had a girlfriend. Then suddenly, her 'sister' became desperately interested in whether or not I'd go out with her.

About now, mild amusement went to 'O.o;;;' in 0.09 seconds.

Now last night, I arrive, in my oh-so-cool Rivers shoes and jeans, grey and black short sleeved shirt, with black short sleeved overshirt. Oh and the buddhist prayer beads wrist thingies and my Chinese New Year's good luck coin neck thingy.

I need to take a photo. Because the mental image I'm getting from that description is really bizarre.

Damn my suave-like-soy-sauceness.

She homed in on me before I even finished catching up wit' my awes' cuz, a'ight?

'Why haven't you answered my email yet?'

'Oh, you mean the two emails with your mobile number, telling me to call you any time of the day or night?'

'Well?'

x.X;

Then she introduced her friend who seemed nice, and was..interesting...to dance with. She's shorter than I am [like a lot of people. I mean. Oops..], and as we waltzed around, I found I had to let her lead, seeing as when I was attempting to, she kept on leaning right into me, rubbing herself against me.

o.O;

I hardly know you, woman!

[...not that I'm saying it'd be okay if I did know her..~_^]

Good thing that the guys part of the waltz is stepping backwards.

So yeah. Did get to see the timeless classic that is Samoan's in their bling-bling and hopping to J-Lo's 'Jenny from the Block.'

That song is still in my head.

If it weren't for my persistent cuz, I wouldn't go to these things. The music is shocking, it's always RnB, Hip Hop and pop. The only thing that changes is that there's about five songs that they play because they're appropriate to the theme.

*sigh*

This morning I was woken up at 7:30, after driving home at 11:30 from Brassal [Sorry, turns out we were 30-45 minutes from Brisbane. I was misinformed]. I also did the driving, which was good. Because we all know the best part about driving is going up the range at 100k's, going round the corners.

^__________^

But anyhow, I was really, really tired. A late night after a combination of two little-kid-filled art shows really takes it out of you.

Fast offering collection, yay!

And then right after that, helping someone to move house, yay!

*exhausted*

Art Project and homework to do, yay!

I think I forgot my physics text book...

I'll have a trumpet of lobsters, and a guitar full of shoe, please.

EDIT: Sometimes my brother is really, really stupid. I've just spent the last hour or so slicing and retaping cardboard boxes so that I cant turn them inside out and have 12 blank boxes.

I go outside to check if there are okay conditions to spray-paint them. It looked okay, but an intermittent mild breeze came up.

The stencil is fluttering around, so I do a test spray onto the grass.

What happens?

Spray goes everywhere. Completely useless if I want a neat, un-drippy print.

I go back inside with my stuff and Blair asks why. I tell him.

'You could use bluetack to hold the stencil down! Or tape! Or I could hold it down!'

I explain to him why, and he chucks a sook, and then says I'm the one with problems who's not doing anything about them.

Currently he's going outside every five minutes and saying, 'the wind's gone away! You can do it now!'

Shut up shut up shut up!

As soon as he comes back inside, a gust starts up and dies away, repeating that over and over.

Sometimes he really needs to shut up, it's my art project, I've used spray paint before, he hasn't. Stop trying to force me to do stuff.

I'm looking forward to when I move out and he's no longer nagging me.

Shut up!
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Thursday, July 29, 2004

'Getting up is for suckers.'


Walking around all day and talking to kids about art really takes it out of you.

I had to deal with about twelve year ten girls from out west, that were almost impossible to extract a conversation from [I ended up talking to their teacher more], and merely snickered and chatted amongst themselves when they thought I wasn't paying attention.

Ugh.

I had a really awesome group of kids from Sacred Heart primary school, [I wish I was going to get graded on them], they were really great with their responses and they hung on to everything I said.

^_^

My last group was...interesting. They started off really great, but one girl started whinging that she'd seen it all before. For a while the group ignored her, but towards the end she got frustrated and walked off, and then walked back and grabbed two other girls by their collars.

I spent the rest of the time trying to keep eleven kids, grades ranging from 5-7, together and focused, while this prat is running around.

*sigh*

After all that, I missed Physics, when I needed to go, and just after that lesson finished, we were no longer needed.

Helen and I were that bored that we bothered to go to religion, just so we could talk to our friends [which is all that happens in RE].

Suprise suprise, the religion class has vanished off the face of the planet.

Not in the classroom, not in the computer labs in D, R1, R2, Y, or even up in the library.

So we just went back to the Art Show and talked about what we're going to do next year.

I'm incredibly tired and can't feel my feet or legs.

[Feel free to do it for me..~_^]

Sleaze! AH! *hits it*
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Wednesday, July 28, 2004

All that glitters has a high refractive index. John D, Denver, USA
Long day. I intensley dislike long days. The only good bit about long days is travelling home on the second bus while Avril..Lavigne...plays...really...loudly?

Good gravy, what've I become?

lol

Lucky for me, Dave Ball leant me his iPod for the trip, and I listened to Franz Ferdinand, Linkin Park and such.

Only Butterfly Effect: Always, managed to drown out the cries of the Centenery Heights skank, 'Andrewwww! Andrewww! Turn it up!'

Mind you, iPods are really, really loud. Especially with BE screaming in your ears. Owies.

But so good.

Still having Maths B difficulties, but apparently the answers were wrong and not me. Thank you Mostly-Mark!

Mr Conaghan stood me up. He wanted to go over some Chem stuff with me at morning tea. [I missed out on an important lesson when I was sick]

So basically I stood in front of his office while year tens made miserable attempts at throwing orange bits at me while crying 'Gimp!'

I'd just love to see the looks on their faces if I said 'Hi!' really brightly and then pulled out an oversized medieval crossbow.

Man, that'd be sweet.

Guns aren't as intimidating as you can't see the jagged bit that's going to kill you.


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