Tuesday, August 31, 2004

'I'll crisis you!'



Well, it looks like the years 2006 and 2007 are going to be real blights on Downland's senior record.

The Honour blazer, something that I worked hard for and thought to be a symbol of effort and achievement, is now an excuse to 'get one' over those stupid seniors and question their sexuality.

Stupid year 10's.

The worst thing about it was that they continued to say the same thing over and over again, and then attempted to lift my wallet.

Bismarck and I had about ten of them [boys and a couple girls, checking out their 'hot' and 'macho' future husbands] surround us in the open air corridor that leads to the bookroom.

It's my fault really, I should have just walked on.

The most frustrating thing about it was they didn't actually do anything that warranted a kick in the nuts.

Just kept on making pathetic innuendos about how being a part of the Arts and Cultural community instantly makes you a faggot, and apparently serving others means you bat for the other team.

That's news to me.

I'm too nice. I should have at least slugged one of them and attempted to mess up the others. I just needed them to say something, at least do something.

One of them pulled my wallet out of my blazer, I took it back, and then another tried to snatch it out of my hand, literally pulling on it as though we were playing an obscure game of tug o' war.

I made as though I was going to tackle him, a quick, short start towards him, and he instantly started crying out 'no physical contact! No physical contact!'

Bunch of wusses.

It's not just one isolated incident. This sort of thing happens at least once every couple days.

But they're too smart [most probably too stupid] to take it any further. They never take it to the level were I [at least in my mind] had the moral high gound to pin them to the wall with a steel crossbow bolt through the humerous.

Dangling a couple of centimetres above their ground, feeling their own weight force their vital organs to be rendered in two.

I'm violent when I'm angry, so shoot me.

It was a great way to start the day, being held up by a bunch of short bogans, five minutes before QCS

[QCS went well, I wrote a ripper of a narrative, which I'll prolly type up later. Multiple choice was hard.]

After school, I start to walk down the front to the bus. It's a fairly long walk, through the trees that were planted when they built the school. Really pleasant.

So I'm walking down there, quick march because I wasted some time talking. I pass a group of 9/10's, who are in a deep conversation about something or other. I get to probably about 10-15 metres in front of them and the hilarous game of 'get the honour-blazer pinner' starts.

[Low muttering]

'Hey, look at that honour blazer pinner.'

'Yeah. The faggot.'

'See if you can hit him with a pinecone'

So they start throwing pinecones at me. Now, these aren't your regular tiny pinecones. These are the painful, six inch diameter open pinecones.

They start whistling past me, at head-height. Lucky for me I can sidestep pretty well, but one clipped my bag, and the rest suddenly went from headheight to bouncing along the ground.

I hate these people so much.

I'm going to propose at Senior Committe that the honour blazer will be suspended for the years 2006 and 2007. It saves the school money, and it prevents complete bogans from getting them.

I'd be quite happy to announce it at assembly or mass. Just for the sheer satisfaction from seeing the looks on their faces.

The report would be as follows:

It's a shame to know that 75% of Downland's year 9 and 10 students are arrogant and sickenly sarcastic strumpets.

Most of you know that already. Teachers, students and parents alike are feeling the brunt of unadulterated arrogance that is being fuelled by unbridled amounts of testosterone.

Back-chatting, abuse, cynicism, disrespect and above all, arrogance, is what makes up a year nine or ten student at Downlands college.

I'm pretty sure that you're quite proud of that fact.

The seniors of the school don't appreciate it either. If we had our way we would have approached the school board and requested that corporal punishment be reinstated, but we're refined and cultured people, so we can't have any of that.

We did pass something to the board.

The Seniors of this school who have acheived an honour blazer have found that they have been treated with high levels of abuse from the year nines and tens.

This abuse has been physical and verbal. Rubbish has been thrown, along with such comments as, 'see if you can hit the honour blazer pinner'

You know who you are. I can see you sniggering about it right now, after all you did 'get one over those seniors.' Obviously you are now the coolest person in the world because you believe abuse is hilarious.

Trust me, we think it's funny too. Every time you strut around, making passes and questioning the sexual preference of those who wear an honour blazer, we think it's funny. Pathetic name calling and sarcasm are obviously of high value to Centrelink.

After all, they'll be the one's giving you the dole three years from now.

I know you think it's funny that a senior is standing up here and giving you a harsh rap on the knuckles, and you're thinking that you'll use this speech against me with your witty one liners and clever sarcasm, but trust me, there are consequences.

As of now, the seniors of the years 2006 and 2007 will not be able to apply for an honour blazer.

I'm sorry. Actually I'm not, but you get that. If you disrespect us, you don't deserve the level of distinction.

It may not matter to you now, but when I pass you while you're in a drunken stupor on the street, I'll decide whether or not it matters to me if you deserve the loose change from my pockets.

Harsh, I know, but if you have been in the same situations as me, you'd appreciate the bitter gall that encapsulates those words.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to play Morrowind. Or watch some TV. Whatever.

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