Monday, May 9, 2005

   'Victory howl or transformation into a ravenous manbeast? Who cares? Back to you in the studio, David' [Scary go Round]


I check myO sporadically when I have time before or between lectures, and I was surprised just now that I had two new guestbook comments. One would say "huzzah" at this point, but both of them said, more or less, [for one comment, this is a direct quote] "Hello. Come to my site."

I feel all warm and fuzzy inside because people out there have finally decided to cut straight to the point.

...why am I suddenly so bitter?

Hm.

Anyhow, life is incredibly boring for me right now. Currently my life is consumed by 71% Uni stuff, 14% Church stuff and 15% misc. [and yes, I abbreviated that because I forgot how to spell the word.]

It really is very boring. It hasn't helped that I've been crook with a cold or something over the weekend, which really helped my assignment, and destroyed any hopes of job searching.

Today I've decided that I'm going to the library in town to get an obscene amount of Terry Pratchett books out [or something similar] and have some sort of escapist moment. I have plenty of better ways to spend my time, but they're all uni ways, and I'm sick of the work.

x.x;

If I just had a job, I would at least have something to distract myself with. I know that sounds stupid to those of you who are at uni and who work at the same time, but I really need a third sphere in my life. Some sort of pressure I guess.

I'm generally self motivated when the time comes, but I have so much free time that I simply abuse it and end up finishing the day thinking, "Wow. I've done absolutely jack all today."

That's not a good thought. I mean, I played Morrowind the other day, thoroughly enjoyed it, but the dominating thought in my mind was "you know, I could be doing some study right now, or at least reading a book, what am I achieving here?"

I ended up reading a book, which shatters any hopes of me actually doing something with my life.

This is pretty much going to go the same way as highschool for me [actually, it rather has], last year I only studied before exams [which I have been told repeatedly that it's all I have to do], and spent my time goofing off.

That's pretty much all that's happening right now. Except I have a lot more free time, and I sort of study when I feel like it. I should really commit myself to a personal timetable, but I'm too lazy. [I also was going to use a fancy word there, but the use of fancy words glosses over the truth sometimes]

Yeah, I'm lazy. I can't justify it in any way, I'm just lazy. I go to all my lectures, do maybe an hour of study each week [if that], and only do assignments when I have to.

Agh.

*stab*

Self motivation is easy, but there isn't a switch to turn it on. It's a lot of work to do something as simple as reading lecture notes, without becoming unfocused and thinking of other things.

So very, very stupid.

I should stop relying on my natural ability to absorb information [that's the only reason why I scrape a pass], and work for it. But I never get around to it. Procrastination, through simple absent-mindedness, is my curse.

Bah.


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