Birthday • 1987-05-20 Gender •
Female Location • Huntsville Member Since • 2006-04-27 Occupation • Student Real Name • Valerie
Personal
Achievements • I'm returning to college Anime Fan Since • 1995 Favorite Anime • Samuraii Champlo, Naruto, Sailor Moon, Love Hina, Vampire Hunter D, many more.... Goals • Teach High school Hobbies • Playing Video games Talents • Singing
myOtaku.com: lilvalchan
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
Hmmm...
For some reason my upper left side of my mouth is hurting.
I just brushed my teeth too o.o; It feels like something is irritating them.
Hrm!
I also have some news I want to share with you all, but I dont know when the time will be right, and if you guys will take it well.
..Awe hell I'll just come out with it.
Long story short: I went to the doctor today, and after telling him about some personal things and whatnot he told me that it is very likely that I have ovarian cancer.
..I dont really know what to think about that. It's not a definite. So we dont REALLY know whats going on. I have to have an ultrasound.
More news to follow when I get more information.
I'm sure everything is fine, guys :). I'm a healthy girl and I doubt anything is wrong. But I wanted to share this with you all because I have grown very attached to you all here on MyO.
You are all supportive and great friends. I love you guys.
But seriously, no freaking out and stuff, okay? Even if I did have cancer, I would live life to my fullest and not want anyone to pitty me.
When it's the time, it's the time. But I think all is well personally. But we'll see, okay?
Once again ladies and gentlman (Legacyof)I give you the theme song of my life:
I feel forces all around me
Come on raise your head Those who hide behind the shadows
Live with all that's dead
Look at me look at me At least look at me when you shoot a bullet
through my head
Through my head
Through my head
Through my head
In my lifetime when I'm disgraced
By jealousy and lies I laugh aloud cause my life
Has gotten inside someone else's mind
Look at me look at me
At least look at me when you shoot a bullet
through my head
Through my head
Through my head
Through my head
Hey all I want is what's real
Something I touch and can feel
I'll hold it close and never let it go Said why why do we live life
With all this hate inside
I'll give it away cause I don't want it no more
Please help me find a place
Somewhere far away I'll go and you'll never see me again
If you're here to harm me... and you keep looking at my page thinking you're going to piss me off, hurt me or mess with me. Don't bother. I dont want to fight you, I dont want to play that game.
I am done with high school drama shit. I really am. Can't you just leave the past where it is supposed to be and go on with your lives?
Dont mistake my words as an act of cowardice. On the other hand, look at it as enlightenment. While you sit here and try to pick fights with me to make yourself feel good/big/important..whatever it is you feel when you fight with me...it doesnt work. I dont get angry, I dont get mad... I dont even get upset and go cry in a corner.
Oh...and talking about me behind my back is all well and good too. Keep doing it, because knowing that I engulf your life so much that you're obsessed with talking about me makes me feel special.
I dont care. Just leave me alone. I dont want to fight, I dont want to play your games. I'm just warning you not to waist your time :).
I know you read this and showed it to everyone too :). Good for you that I am on your mind so much.
Celeste: I spend so much time on youtube it's not even funny. I LOVE youtube. Comments (3) |
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Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Seriously. What I am about to post is CRACK. I mean it. You cant stop watching it. You'll watch it...and then watch some more... and before you know it you've watched it twenty thousand times.
This is how I am feeling...
I'm so un-original that I have to use lyrics to represent how I feel....
You wait, wanting this world
To let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light
In dark and empty streets
You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to believe
You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in
I wish
Wishing for you to find your way
And I'll hold on for all you need
That's all we need to say
I'll take my chances while
You take your time with
This game you play
But I can't control your soul
You need to let me know
You leaving or you gonna stay
You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in
There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in
There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to live without
The only way to see again
Is let love in
You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in
I said I hated sad endings, but no matter how much I begged Lee...he's still quitting COH. So I went ahead and wrote a story to end this SL I have with him so I may be able to play Gelle again, without feeling sad.
...Stupid sad endings... if you're interested in their backstory, let me know.
This is the end:
What time was it? Why was it so dark? Where is he? These are just a few questions Gelle could not answer. She faintly stared into the darkness around her, holding a pillow to her tightly.
After all of these years, nothing had hurt her more than the news she had received about seven hours ago. She had always thought she was tough enough to handle anything. But nothing hurt as bad as knowing that Jaime may never come home.
She was curled into a ball; the last thing she remembered was her chest being tight from her crying. Her eyes felt irritated, and itchy, and for all she knew they were probably red.
Her fingers had curled up around her husband�s pillow that she had always scolded him for, for not washing it enough. At that moment though, she had been so happy he hadn�t washed it too often, as it was the only thing that smelled like Jaime.
Her knees were sore from the fall she received when she came crashing down from the words that came from Jason�s lips.
�This is all I found of him, Gelle.� He said, and handed her his goggles and his sword.
All Gelle could remember was that she fell, and cried harder than she had ever cried in her life. Jason had done his best to comfort her, but no matter what he did, Gelle would not calm down.
She couldn�t stand the thought that he wasn�t coming back. What would she say to Matt? How would she go on? Why was this happening to her? Nothing hurt her more than the thought of kissing him one last time, or hugging him, or even gaining a smile.
She knew that no amount of wishing, praying, or crying would make him walk though that door. This didn�t stop her, and she cried, wished, prayed, and screamed.
�Jaime!� She yelled, hoping maybe she would get a response.
�Jaime!� She screamed louder, but he never came.
She could still feel his arms around her, he could still hear his voice in her ears, and his soft kisses hit her cheeks and lips. But no matter how hard she imagined, they would never feel as real as they should be.
She pulled her hair, cried harder, and screamed aloud again.
�You said you�d always be here! You told me you would!� Her screaming was so rough it scratched her throat.
�You said�.� She stopped and sobbed into his pillow again.
The last thing they had done together was sleep. He wasn�t there when she woke up. All he did was leave a note explaining a job, and that was a few weeks ago.
She didn�t even get to kiss him goodbye, or tell him she loved him.
What was the point of this? Why did she of all people have to go through this? It wasn�t fair. After how hard she fought to free him of the monster he though he was, he was gone.
She didn�t know how to think�it was as if all of the feelings in her body had disappeared.
She just felt as though she was falling into the ocean, and cold waves were pulling her under. She couldn�t even breathe.
She griped her face and screamed again, and beat her fists into anything she could possibly hit, even herself. As long as she could forget how badly it felt to live at this moment in time.
What happened to all the promises that other heroes had made her? His safety, their safety...where was that? Where were they?
Nothing hurt worse than having to explain that daddy might not be coming home to their son. After Matt started to cry, and beg for his father, something literally snapped inside of Gelle.
She knew that whatever was going to happen, she couldn�t let Matt see her angry and scared. She waited until he had gone to sleep to put him in the care of Jim, a friend she knew well.
After that she went back to the base and cried for hours until she fell asleep from exhaustion. It seemed that would be what would happen next, if Jason hadn�t turned the light on and walked in.
�Stop it, Gelle. This won�t bring Jaime back.� He said, sitting on the bed next to her.
�Jason� why is this happening?� She asked. Her eyes were so red from crying.
�There are never reasons for these things, Gelle. You can�t let this hurt make you do things. You have to go to sleep. I don�t want to drug you, but I will if I have to.� Jason said, looking to his cousin with sad eyes.
�I want him. I want him here�and I want him here now.� Gelle said angrily.
�He�s not here, though. We don�t know where he is. I can�t find him; his phone is out of service.� Jason explained.
�Ask for help, Jason! Just find him�dead or not� I want my husband. I want his body in my arms�� Gelle begged and cried.
Jason shook his head and held her close to him. �It doesn�t work that way, I�m sorry, love.�
�Bring him back, Jason! Bring him back to me�� Gelle sobbed into him.
�I cant, no one can. Gelle you have to survive through this. Matt needs you�I need you too.� Jason said, and patted her back.
Gelle screamed into him and began to grip her hair again. Jason had enough of her emotions, though he understood the nature of living things that grieve for the dead. He took a needle and struck her in her arm, and in three seconds she was asleep in his arms.
��Damn it Jaime.� Jason said under his breath, already missing what to him� was a best friend.
Leaving Hollywood
Duble expierience weekend is over.
Three levels later, you're looking at a Level 33 ice tank.
..Whee :).
...I am a bit down though. My friend Lee is leaving COH, which means his character Deadshadow is going too. Which is sad, because Gelle is married to him.
