Monday, April 2, 2007

Heya!

Well, i just woke up, its 4 AM ^^; i enjoy being up at this hour because at 5 AM Buffy the vampire slayer comes on, and hey, im not gonna lie, that show ruled my life way back when xD so its always nice to catch an episode when i can..lol...i know, im a loser. well, on Sunday, i only got 2 hours of sleep! then we woke up and went to the library, but it was closed for some reason so...we went to the mall and we looked at...everything <<; but my sister only baught some bamboo! it came in this really cute pot that was decorated with frogs, it was awesome. She also baught a book, i have no idea what its about though! So after we left the mall, we went back to the library and it was open so we got our books and stuff but got, they didnt have any of the books ive been REALLY wanting to read... ><; no good manga either.. after that we went home, which was boring so we went walmart! and baught sunglasses! and out of the spur of the moment my sister baught an MP3 player! its not an ipod(my sister is against the ipod because she beleives they brainwash people) but its pretty cool anyway, it was like, 60 bucks and it hold almost 500 songs i think. after that we got dinner, and after that i was so happy to go to my room and sleep. and now im here. yay... :/ i wont be doing anything today though because my sister has to work so...no..car...:/ BUT then ill have some time to come and visit your sites ^^! well, have a nice day everyone!

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Sunday, April 1, 2007

~__~

Well, i fell asleep before my dad got home and i slept like, all day so by the time i woke up he has gone to work! lol so..im not quite sure if he knows what my mom did or not o.o'' But anyway, we rented movies today, "Children of men" was one of them, it was brilliant... seriously... it was AMAZING! there was alot of killing and stuff but everything seemed SO real... i ts a deffinate must see... We also got "Wicked little things" which is one of the 8 films released from the "After dark horrorfest". we didnt end up watching it cause, well, the other movie didnt get over till like 2 AM(we started watching it late) so yeah.. havent watched it yet.. lol but my sister noticed that on the DVD box it says "be kind, please rewind" xD HELL NO I WONT REWIND MY D.V.D! lmao.. hmm, well not much else to update on, we're supposed to go to the library, and then the mall.. my sister also offered to pay for a haircut for me(cause she's getting hers done) but i said no because i have no idea how i want my hair right now xD anyway, have a nice weekend!

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Saturday, March 31, 2007

...

Well Damn, ive had a bad night. my mom was acting kind of funny, and around 10 at night me and my sister knew something was wrong because mom had her hair all curled and stuff o.o well, suddenly she goes out the front door saying she's going to "Talk to her friend miranda right outside" well, i make my way to the door and i see this car, i have no idea who was in the car but it sure as hell wasnt her friend Miranda. well she didnt just talk to the person, she hopped into the car and drove away! ~_~ hours later, she calls saying she was with her friend Lauri(who is crazy, seriously she's kinda mental..) and then an hour after that she calls saying she needs me and my sister to pick her up, she's all the way in another TOWN! and i could by her speech that she was drunk.. she couldnt even hardly answer any of my questions. in the end i made my grandfather get up at 1 in the morning to go all the way to another town and pick her up! And i know, most everyone that reads my blog is new and doesnt know about my mother and you may be thinking "So she went out with her friend, whats so wrong with that?!" Whats wrong is my mom has a history of LEAVING us and going off with god knows who for days, sometimes months! at a time... She's also an alcoholic and drug addict so... yeah, basically any type of freedom she has was taken away from her because she keeps fucking messing up! ....Now, i hate my mother, i really do, i have no love for this woman, and its hard for me to even see her everyday and know that she is my mom. To me, she's a pathetic 40 year old woman who will never in her life understand whats it like to be normal. Anyway, so my dad works all night untill 7 AM. guess who got stuck with telling him once he gets home? thats right, me. he's gonna be pissed... there will surely be yelling.. i completely hate this family. That brings me to my next thing, we're supposed to be moving this year, sometime after the next 3 months, not sure where but...well... my grandmother keeps telling me that if i need to i can live with her when we move, not only would it be good for my parents because they could get a smaller space(we have no money, it'll be hard to find something for a family of 4) but honestly, i may do me some good... if i live with my grandmother, that means i will do everything perfectly, i will go to school, i will go to bed at a proper time, i will doing everything, normally and under her rules... but.. that means ill have to leave my cats with my parents, and i may not even have the internet! which is bad, my 2 cats and the internet are my life, i cant live without any of those. ...but i want to so bad... imagine how much my life would shape up. thats quite a ways away so.. ill have plenty of time to think about it i guess ;.; anyway, its 3 AM ~_~ my dad wont be home for like 4 more hours... oh! but do any of you remember me talking about my new story about mermaids? well i finally came up with what it will kind of be about! ill post more on it later, and if i write anything ill give ya a link... xD im really excited about this story, then again im always excited about new stories i start <<;;; have a nice weekend everyone! i think ill go around making some new friends on here, as much as i miss my old ones, i dont want to leave this site just because of that lol. ^^

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Friday, March 30, 2007

Spring...snowstorm

It did in fact Snow last night >< very nasty wet snow, luckily it didnt stick and while i was sleeping it melted ^^; well, my day was uneventful... :/ list of books to read officially got even LONGER! i didnt even mention all the manga i need to read xD i need to watch alot of anime to, because my sister buys tons of it now *-*; GRRR my DSL isnt working O.o its wierd, it stops working between 7 PM and 1 AM... and..we cant figure out while, we even called and asked them but they said they werent sure and that we would have to wait 14 hours! but we've already been waiting 3 days! im assuming its the weather we've been having at night, but im guessing that would interfere with out connection to the network not to the internet(if that made sense) and well, the network connection isnt the problem, its the internet! sorry i didnt visit, i was planning to but yeah, like i said above my damn internet is being bitchy ;.; have a nice friday!

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Thursday, March 29, 2007

o.o;

Wow, i just realised that i have so many books i need to read i could explode! seriously! for one, i still have to get on my vampire book list, and theres altleast 30 books(not uncluding other books of series) on that list! as well as my new interest in mythology and mermaids, i need to read up on those! plus friends always go to me and say "YOU NEED TO READ THIS BOOK!" which i will ><; plus books ive been meaning to read for years/months but still havent. not to mention all the fictionpress stories i get hooked on ><; i guess it doesnt help that i litterally go book searching on the web when im bored ><; im wierd, my life is sad, pull the trigger NOW PLEASE! ...ok..im also a bit tired and loopy from lack of sleep *0* ....well, not much to update xD life is boring, yet im sure you all would predict that i would say that cause i say it ALL THE TIME, every single entry.. <<; hmm... well..... :/ enjoy your day! ill visit, i have nothing better to do lol.

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Monday, March 26, 2007

annoyed

Well im a bit annoyed. ive reviewed like, tons of peoples stories randomly/if they ask me to/me offering to and not once has anyone read mine xD what the hell?! people on fictionpress can bite me. well, i wrote something really awesome at 3 AM and i suppose since i have nothing to say ill put it here, enjoy to skip over it and just tell me to have a nice day, i dont mind. if you do read it, thankyou, at the moment im in love with it because, well, its just really personally, and its really how ive felt over these years. i call it "The pressure of demons" There was this void, deep down, right under my heart, everyday is grew larger and larger, in the end, I just wanted it to take me already, that pressure was just to much. Yet, when it finally exploded, and the pressure was released, I had never expected such a feeling. All the regrets, the jealousy, the confusion, the hate, it didn't consume me like I thought. In fact, its spread, and hid itself in all the dark crevices my mind seems to hold. Weather this is good or not, I suppose you could say at that moment, it was sort of an, enlightenment? my mind was so clear, clearer then I could ever imagine it being, and I realized for the first time in my 17 years of life, what I truly wanted. what my purpose in life was. And right then, I felt I could accomplish it, but there was a catch you see. I knew, that I would have to face all those memories, all those memories that I should think fondly of, and in a loving way. But to me they were just reminders of what I could never have again. They were truly, Demons I had created within myself. Could I ever really get past them? in that moment, I felt I could, all I needed was faith. I needed to abandon all that was me, shed those hollow layers, those transparent deadly skins I had woven from my mind. I needed to feel what it was like to be naked and raw inside this fiery world of endless obstacles. Only then, could I build a woman that could face those demons whenever they wanted to come out and play. And only then, can I turn those memories of old friends, and what was once a mother, into a positive energy, that would no longer eat away at my soul. Only then will I stop asking 'why?' and kill myself a bit more because I know, they will never give me an honest answer. have a great day everyone, sorry i didnt visit.

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Sunday, March 25, 2007

grr

well, today was rainy, it was nice though, i enjoyed it. it also smelled like burning wood, leaving me to beleive there was a fire in the mountains somewhere, i didnt bother to check for smoke(it happens alot here, nothing new..) i woke up really late in the day(i keep staying up all night XD) and i had a really "Great" dream about this guy i knew way back when. *sigh* im not even going to discuss what kind of "great" i mean xD lets just leave it at that. I kind of wish i was still in touch with him, O.o he was awesome. well.. i officially realised i just CANT take good pictures of myself with my digital camera O.o which is annoying. however i took a few good ones with my webcam, ill post them here tommarrow(or you can seen them on myspace or DA right now) also, sorry to purrifying Goddess that i didnt send her any reviews :/ Fictionpress is being a bitch and there reviewing thing has been down ALL DAY. i died not being able to give people reviews! ANYWAY ill try and visit, have a nice day all!

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Saturday, March 24, 2007

xD

Well, i found this last night: http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnsfw.com/?b97644b8e0b279603e722bc9b8a0d077 Friggin hilarious! if you go see it, make sure you have your speakers turned on cause its an audio file XD its nothing perverted..just incredibly hilarious lol Well i didnt do much today(surprise there ~_~) but we did have some rainy weather, first it was just really windy, then it was all thunder and lightning, and finally at night its started to rain ALOT in fact, its still raining i think. And dad made me drive him to get dinner... it sucked <<; i didnt know driving in the rain at night would be so bad but it was, especially cause it was raining hard and there was TONS of water on the streets. i went down this one street and it was basically me trudging through water o.o it sucked. wellllll i wrote alittle something which you can view on my anime forum, its not related to anime in any way xD but on my forum you get your own blog so i put it on mine. its actually about Mermaids, which at the moment i have a big fascination with. well, ive been spending mega ammounts of time on fictionpress just because i feel like giving people reviews(and reading stuff) so if anyone has anything they want me to review on fictionpress, just gimme your username and i will ^^ but that is all.. ill try and visit today! take care!

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Friday, March 23, 2007

Boo!

So, last night i couldnt sleep and ended up getting on about, 3 AM. i ended up reading some of my old blog entries from when i first joined. they made me really sad because i joined the site right when my life went to hell so no one(not that anyone from those days gets on here anymore) got to really see me...as happy. i was always so sad, and i specificly remember reading about how i want to do something with my life, not just sit around like i was. and then i talked about where i wanted to be in three years. and now, guess what?! its almost been three years since that blog post and i still havent done anything lol. XD but i can say, that its slowly improving now. those 2 years were like hell to me and i finally feel i have a chance to make it right. so! In 3 years i hope to be on track for the most part, that means school, a job, and have people in my life that i know care for me. That is what i want most in three years. Where do you all hope to be in three years? But anyway, today was boring, so.. im not even going to tell you about it lol. have a nice day everyone!

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Thursday, March 22, 2007

bored

Bah, im bored to death. and i tried to write but.. O.o i just didnt like what i was writing so i gave up lol. My day was ok, though, my dads favorite fish died ;.; i felt really bad so me and my sister baught him a beta(and awesome one..) and a really kool albino cichlid, its all white with red eyes, its awesome. he was happy(sorta..he wanted an oscar but they were to expensive) i also got done watching the movie "Eragon" which, was so cliche at times i couldnt help but laugh out loud O.o though honestly, i hate Christopher Paolini's writing style and i personally, dont care for his snobby attitude... like he freaking created fantasy writing ~_~; *fumes* and the fact that he things mercades lackey is one the most amazing fantasy writers just makes me want to slap him! O.o ok, im done, no more being mad! and im sorry if any of you like either of those authors, but O.o well, thats my opinion. ANYWAY i was going to watch blood diamond(which will be a breath of fresh air compared to eragon) but my sister and i got into an arguement, of all things, CHOCOLATE! im not even going to get into detail about it though ~_~ needless to say ill either be watching the movie alone or not at all. anyway, RANDOM WHORING! PLEASE go visit the user ansatsushawdi, she is a wonderful friend of mine and while at her page i noticed that most of the people on her friends list dont even get onto this site anymore :/ so please send her some love and be her friend. ALSO go join my anime forum! it needs members! its free to join and the members right now are pretty awesome so...heres the link: http://animenonesense.proboards100.com/

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