Saturday, December 2, 2006

nya

well, i suppose im in a way better mood then yesterday lol :P i dont know why, but i havent been able to sleep lately, and you know, lack of sleep usually makes people deppressed so im guessing thats why i was so sad, and of course i had to come on and complain and whine like i always do lol. Thank you guys, for the comments you gave me, they really did help. I cant say that life is too good right now, but to be honest, i cant say im doing anything to make it better. I've spent my whole life avoiding the problems i have, im not sure why, maybe because the biggest problem i ever had was my parents behavior? I never let my friends know how terrible they were to eachother, i always tried to keep some, nice front that our family was actually a loving one. Maybe in a way, that was me avoiding that situation. Im going to have to face the fact that, the past can never be changed and life will for me will never be like that again. And as simple as that sounds, it still hurts so much you know? Its really hard to get over something like that lol. Somehow, i need to get myself motivated. Enough so that the actions i take are permanent and not one of those things that i say i will do, and then later i blow it off because i dont feel like doing it or because i dont think it will amount to anything anyway. Im not really sure how though, i think its been a problem ive always had... But anyway, i know i say this every time but im sorry i havent been around.I just havent been in a very "myo" mood. Im really trying though, i guess my mind's been preoccupied by other things..

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Friday, December 1, 2006

im tired

Why is it that i cant ever just, forget about the past? why do i always have to think about the unfortunate things that have happened in my life? And why cant i just stop thinking about the people that have caused those things? I just want to have a normal life, a fun life, i want to have friends again, not like the friends i have now, but real friends, that act like friends, and notice for once that im there. Im tired of waking up every morning with nothing to look forward to but a path that leads me nowhere. And i dont have anyone to look to for help or anything like thats, its really like i have no one at all in my life. how pathetic is that. How did it turn out this way!? How on earth am i going to get through life, if its always like this, because its been like this for what seems like forever..

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Sunday, November 26, 2006

nya!

Anime was awesome, i cant watch trinity blood cause its friggin boring but bleach and eureka 7 were great! so, i never updated on what i did for thanksgiving. I drove us to my grandparents house, and while i was going down this hill this car pulled out infront of me, idiotically not seeing the stopsign there! And the brakes stalled on me! so i was just rolling toward them about to hit them when dad turns the wheel really quick x.x i dunno why i wasnt thinking of it, but it was really the first accident situation i had ever been in. But anyway, so the chick that was driving the car looks at me like i was the idiot that had caused it O.o wtf? she's the one that was speeding down a naighborhood, totally oblivious to the stop sign! anyway, so that was it untill i drove us to my other grandmothers house, she lives in the mountains in a town called "Laporte" its really small and...well yeah its small. the only bad thingthat happened was i ran over this peice of wood xD i didnt even notice it lol. Well, later that night i wanted to drive home to to get some night driving hours in but we had to drop off my cousins so since im the smallest i had so sit in the back with them(small car)well, im so happy i wasnt driving because...we hit a DEER! x.x it was terrible! we never even saw it and then bam! omg it was so surprising and terrible ;.; poor deer, obviously it died... I never thought i would be in a car that would hit a deer or any kind of animal for that matter x.x so yeah, good thing i wasnt driving, that probably would have tramatized me quite a bit XDDD other then that? nothing my life is boring again lol. ive been home alone alot recently because dad has work and goes to see my mom alot and my sister has her job :/ and i have nothing at all to do. i cant even seem to read anymore im so sick of it lol xDD but anyway, i hope you all had a great holiday week and that your weekend was good to ^^.

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

nyah

I just wanted to wish everyone a happy thanksgiving!! Also, im really freaking sorry ive been so Idle on MyO! ~_~ i just havent really been in the mood i guess, Ill really try harder to get on ;.; BTW, after so many jokes ive Made about the Wii... i totally want one xD they look awesomeful lol. So thats it, i hope your day is fun and full of...food <<; i know mine will be ~_~: I love thanksgiving, and im happy i wont be preparing any of the food(however, i have to prepare christmas dinner, which im not looking forward to, cause our oven doesnt work yet and hasnt for like, 3 months lol) ...i just rambled.. sorry.. TTYL

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Monday, November 13, 2006

Hey

Sorry i havent been on lately. i just havent had much to put up here :/ My life is really boring ~_~ even more so then it usually is lol. And i just noticed the Christine's MyO account is gone, so im sad. You know, i had a really deep conversation with my online friend codey, and i just started to bawl my eyes out ;.; i guess i didnt realise how sad i was about my life untill that moment. And i really needed to cry lol. its wierd, he's such a jerk but he always seems to make me feel better in some way lol ~_~:;; but anyway, the point is, life is crappy, like it always is for me but now, its like, set. The Actions i made this year i can't take back, im going to have to live with them and theyre going to to be the base of my future. Now im not saying that i totally screwed my life up on quiting school, ive got a plan its just, i dont know what to do to start it lol. Well, i mean i do... i just.. i dunno, its like i hit pause on life(Again) and now im just doing nothing everyday. Ah but even though im feeling sad every second of the day its ok, because i kind of push it all to the back of my mind and just enjoy little things.. like reading..and cooking.. But thats really all i do nowadays ~.~; However, Megan Messeged me on Myspace the other day and we had a really big talk about weather we could be friends or not. i love megan to death, she's like, everything i want to be in life ya know? Im just nervous that i wont fit in with her, like, we just wont mesh as friends. And if thats true, then... i dont think we can be friends. Then where will i be?! where i am now i suppose, with n one lol... Im not worried though, one day, ill figure out how to acheive what i want in life. When i was talking to my friend codey, i told him that i wouldnt give up Because atleast when i know im trying, i feel like im not some useless pile of crap. ....If none of that sounded right O.o im sorry, they were pretty much jumbled thoughts i decided to type out lol. ~_~;; so yeah, believe it or not, thats how life has been for me. im so sorry i havent visited in such a long time... ill try harder.

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Sunday, November 5, 2006

E7

Well, Eureka 7 was friggin awesome, as usual. Its officially reached number one on my favorite anime shows list lol. Bleach was ok. and trinity blood was freaking boring.. ~_~; i ended up turning it lol. Have i got any writing done? Not at all. in fact, i kinda sat on the computer yesterday trying to get into my "Writing mode" and it just never happened, nothing ever came out and im peeved about it! i just need to write! thats all you'd think it would be easy however its not ;.; i dont know how im going to reach the goal by the end of the month. but ive made a new goal! 25k by november 15th. if i can do that, then i know i have a chance of getting to 50k easy. ^^;; my parents..meh.... they acted like nothing ever happened the night before like they always do ~_~ i hate how they ignore the problem and just let it happen over and over and over. well thats about it! have a nice day!

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Saturday, November 4, 2006

le grr

~_~ so yeah, im really behind on my writing! so basically mom and dad have been fighting since like.. thursday so i had the biggest headache and i deffinatly couldnt write. and then on friday they were like, drunk as hell x.x;; seriously, i dont know why my dad doesnt just let her leave us like she wants to. i mean, everyday she just tells him how much she hates him and she's even attempted to stab him! not to mention friday she made some very rude calls to my grandmother and uncle.. x.x i was so mad! they deffinatly didnt deserve it... But anyway, so now its technically saterday(3 AM) and im sitting here trying to write but i cant seem to at all!!! ;.; and you know what? i have to get around 10000 words written by the END of sunday or im not sure iff ill be able to catch up on the contest ;.; its just going terribly wrong and im not in the best of mood. But ill get over it, hopefully ill be able to just write the damn words without procrastinating so much! other then that, nothings been going on. i hope your weekend is going well!

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Wednesday, November 1, 2006

November 1st!!

Guess what im doing? Writing! finally the competition has started and right now im just trying to churn out 2000 words for the day. so far i have... er..*checks* 912 ^^ so im getting there! So yeah, i hope everyone had a good halloween, mine was really boring. But OMG this like, group of little kids came to the door and they were really loud and scared my cat and the cat like, ran through the door and started to scratch the hell out of one of the little kids ;.; i felt really bad.. but the kid didnt seem scared or anything.. so it was all good. Then, like, we heard knocking at the door so i assumed it was a kid so i went to answer and like, my dad was hiding and jumped out as i answered the door and scared the crap out of me ;.; it was hilarious! and embarressing lol... xD he scared me to death! i jumped nad yelled and everything... but anyway, im sad that its over lol. i wish it had been funner for me, but all well. well, im gonna get back to writing, i guess im just posting because i couldnt think of anything else to write at the moment but im good now! have a nice wednesday everyone!

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Monday, October 30, 2006

Hey

Hi! So umm not much to say lol, we went groccery shopping today. -_- that was about it lol. i fell asleep while watching children of the corn and woke up with terrible pain in my neck x.x so, i was really confused about time lol, my clock changed a day before it was supposed to so i was like "WTF.. wasnt it already 2 AM?!" ugh, it was funny, i had to go ask my sister and she said my clock musta changed earlier then it shoulda xDD so the writing competition is in 2 days! thats 48 hours to prepare. im a little sad because i dont know anyone else thats doing nanowrimo and all my writing buddies..well.. arent really my buddies anymore so that sucks x.x; oh, and i made a writing contest site of my own lol! now i just need to find some peoples that will run it with me ^^; feel free to check it out http://www.aggressiveink.co.nr its all rainbowy and stuff of course. because that is like, totally Liquidsilver style if you ask me mwahaha >3 but yeah, dont be surprised, no ones joined yet cause i havent told anyone but you guys lol.. well, have a nice day!

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Sunday, October 29, 2006

^^

*pokeths her spiffeh word counter for the writing contest thing* I finally just decided to go with the idea thats been in my head for months but somehow couldnt seem to write about it! it came to me in a dream and im sure i talked about it when i had it but anyway, so thats what im going with. wow, 3 more days and then i have to start writing like, everyday in november.. x.x im nervous!!! anyway. NEW EUREKA 7 OMG! i didnt watch it, luckily it comes on twice ^^ im just waiting for it be on again so i can watch it! my sister was so excited but i didnt let her talk about it cause i hadnt seen it yet x.x i cant wait lol, only like.. 2 more hours untill it comes on. ;.; a so yeah, other then that, im pretty bored. no ones online and its COLD! i forgot to say that it snowed a couple days ago in the morning x.x it looked all blizzardy outside and by the afternoon it had all melted away and was sunny again. O.o even though ive lived in colorado my whole life, the weather always seems to amaze me x.x;;

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