Monday, February 6, 2006

hmm

Guess what... Brandon wanted to hang out with me.. oh yeah..what ive been working for.. And i had to decline.. she's done it again.. not only has she ruined my home life, she ruined my social life.. I told my friends what happened.. and like they always do.. they totally pushed it away "Oh im sorry hun that really sucks..." Minute later "Lets go get lunch!" o.o;; this is why i hate pushing my problems onto people.. because i dont want to push them away.. or make them feel like they need to do anything.. i just needed like, i dunno.. someone to care.. and actually say and show me they care.. But whatever. So mom called today, dad never told me she did but i overheard the convo.. she wanted to come home.. i dont know what he said.. he was yelling.. but yeah.. i dont have a clue whats gonna happen. school tommarrow.. boy am i dreading it.. its the last place i ever want to be ever.. sorry if i have so much typos.. its like.. 2 in the AM here..same as last update ~_~;; i have to get on late when no one is awake to know.. :/ umm...well.. i have nothing to say.. im really tired.. i want to sleep.... so bye.

Comments (4) | Permalink

Sunday, February 5, 2006

gah

Ok so here is whats new.. My mom has a "special friend" Steve..who she is with.. :/ she hasnt called.. but STEVE has... to tell me my mom is sorry and that she loves me O.o What the Fuck ever. She thinks i love her? THe only reason i tolorate her is for me dad.. and she has the nerve to beleive that my dad doesnt love her... other then that.. nothing...nothing at fucking all has happened.. I have a feeling this whole month is going to be mad.. and hey if im LUCKY maybe it will fucking alst till march 17 so i can say "Screw life" one more time on my birthday... ..im mad... if you cant tell... But thanks for the support.. i really needed it.. And if you have no idea what im talking about, you better go read my last entry.. because its really important

Comments (2) | Permalink

Friday, February 3, 2006

...

Ok everyone, this week has been one of the worst weeks of my life starting with Wednesday being the worst day of my life!!! I sure hope you all come see this entry cause unless my mom comes on this weekend, I wont be able to get on till maybe Monday, if I go to school… First of all, it started Wednesday.. when I found out Brandon couldn’t transfer to my school.. but that is such a minor thing to think sucked compared to what happened next. me and my sister decided to walk down to my dads work. well, we saw this little pug dog I the street, I was going to call it over to me but was waiting for this old lady to pull her car out of the driveway. But suddenly, the dog goes after the car, and the old lady drives right over this poor dog. and KEEPS GOING. so I run to the little dog hat falls down, and suddenly stop dead in my tracks, as I see a puddle of blood forming.. I just sit there on my knees in the middle of the street staring at its lifeless body. the lady slows down prolly, after she realized my sister and I had seen what she did, she comes over and goes “It always does that to… oh man… what should I do” and first I wanted to “You stupid fat old lady you shouldn’t be driving obviously you cant see 2 fee in front of you. But im all “You should tell the owners, do you know where the dog lives?” she did, she went to tell them.. I heard some little girl start to cry… I started to cry…. I cant get the image of the doggy out of my head, I mean.. I just wish there was something I could have done…. I mean, it didn’t deserve to die… if I had done something it would be with that little girl that was crying.. it would be alive. and I knew the old lady was gonna hit it, I just felt it right before it happened, but I couldn’t seem to get myself to do anything…. That day we came home from the store, and my mom was gone. now some of you long time friends on here know that my mom had problems with drugs and stuff, and she would run away just to be with her druggy friends. my family has been dealing with this for about, 2 years now, she’s been in like, rehab maybe 5 times already, and in fact, she just got out of it last week. however, she’s been off drugs for maybe, 3 months… and went to rehab recently to cope with one of her friends dying. But anyway, when we came home, she was gone. She had packed a suite case, taken her makeup, taken her meds, and my dad found her wedding ring…. Now, I wish she wouldn’t come back, but as ive always known, my dad just cant live without her..he cant even be happy that he at least has me and my sister.. he just needs her.. he would rather die then be without her.. so.. I’m pretty sure that once she’s done screwing around for whatever reason… maybe she’s back on drugs… She’ll come back.. she always comes back… I just done understand it, everything was going great, we were all getting along.. and she just left for no reason. Now see, im not aloud to get on the internet until she comes home, because my dad feels that she can call us any second of the day. I’m at school right now, risking school suspension just to post all this… but I don’t care. I wish they would suspend me…I don’t want to be here, not right now. not ever.. But anyway, so life has really sucked since Wednesday, my dad has gone back into total depression, and he decided to quit his job.. RIGHT NOW. he is such an idiot.. we’re to poor for him to quit.. we cant afford for him to quite.. he says its cause he hates his job, but I mean… he doesn’t have enough money to find a job he likes, he should stick with what he has right now.. instead of jeopardizing his already broken families will to at least have shelter when it rains ya know? Oh man you guys.. I just with this hadn’t happened… I was hoping this would never happen again, I was just hoping that my mother would actually be fine now.. I was actually believing she wanted to be apart of this family.. it just hurts me to know that I let my guard down and she hurt once again… Well, I love you all.. and I hope I can get back on soon…

Comments (3) | Permalink

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

hey

Ok so im getting a little annoyed with myself cause im updating so late :/ its because i fall asleep to early >< i really miss staying up late *sniffle* Uhm, today... my parents didnt wake me up for school.. O.o however im up anyway but since they didnt wake up im gonna say i indicated it as a "Stay home today" thing... cause i didnt want to go anyway ~_~;;; Ummm... like i said yesterday when i went to B&N i didnt get any manga because nowadays me and my sister dont read the same manga really, so we could decide on one we both wanted O.o;; we also had the same trouble finding a book to buy, because while we both like fantasy, we like very different styles of fantasy. and we also both like mystery and crime but i like really graphic crime fiction and she doesnt... lol.. So in the end we got the book "Freedomland" Its coming out as a movie soon as well, and it seems interesting so i thought i would read it first ^^''' Its sort of boring right now.. but ive only read about 100 pages or so..... Also, i finished 2001:a space oddessey.. it was brilliant, i loved it. and uhm... inuyasha tonight ^^ i sort of missed last weeks(i watched the end) and i also missed SC >< hopefully i wont this week... Once again, thanks myui for joining my forum*hands you another basket of cookies* and Lordsesshomaru braught up a good point. I dont want you to join if you dont really want to, because then youll be inactive, and i dont want that. I want people that want to be there, and enjoy posting on it. Have a nice day ^^

Comments (5) | Permalink

Monday, January 30, 2006

Hey

Hullo, since its so late in the evening i doubt anyone will visit today so im just gonna say this: Go check out my ANIME FORUM!!!!!!!! Oh and thanks myui for joining you.. *gives you a basket of cookies* (i know how much you like cookies XP But anyway, JOIN MY ANIME FORUM!!!!!!! you can go see it here: www.asahianimesociety.tk or here: http://animesociety1.proboards82.com Love yas! Oh and btw, i didnt buy any manga when i went to B&N ): just a book..

Comments (2) | Permalink

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Hey

Ah so the thing at the museum was called "Asian journeys" so it wasnt just about japan ^^. It was very fun, there was food which i found out was hosted by some japanese grill we have in our town(i never knew about it till now) and there was tons of fun paintings and dolls and just, LOTS of stuff to see and i very much enjoyed looking at everything, and it made me realise how much i love art O.o;; Then at the rialto they first played 3 peices off the koto(A floor harp) and i vowed that someday in my life, i will learn how to play one. They also did many songs on the drums, i dont remember there traditional names lol but they all looked so happy while they were playing the drums ^^ As fun as it was, i was really tired when we got home so thats why im updating so late.. Umm, today im hoping to get my sister to go to barnes and noble since we have some money ^^;; lol. and thats about it for me... love yas.

Comments (2) | Permalink

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Hey

Ah, i havent really been awake to update ~_~;; i keep falling asleep at like, 8 PM O.o and waking up at 7 AM on my own *sigh* So anyway, yesterday we had this stupid assembly at school, it was about school unity or something.. it was boring o.o;; but anyway since it cut into my 2nd period i knew 2nd period would get out late which sucks cause i told my sister to pick me up at a certain time and now she would have to wait like.. an hour.. so..i ditched... But thats ok because i got to read almost all of 2001:a spacew odessey and i only have like, 5 pages left ^^ I love this book! Today, or rather tonight, me and my sistter are going out with my grandma to this japanese gallery that my towns museum is holding, i dont really know much about it so youll have to wait till tommarrow to hear about it ^^ oh but after the gallery, we're going over to the rialto(my towns theatre) and theyre having this play to show some traditional japanese dances and instroments and clothes and stuff ^^ and its only 5 bucks so its either really stupid, or really good(Cause 5 bucks to a play is like, unreal..) So thats what i have planned for tonight.. I have a sore throat, since i got up ive been drinking tea so its been getting better ): i think im getting a cold.. i either got it from my mom, my dad, or the thousands of kids i interact with at school. But my mom kissed me so im betting its her..though... i do LIVE with my dad... O.o who knows, ive got it, which sucks... *sniffle* Have a nice day my loves.

Comments (1) | Permalink

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Hey

Well, school was ok, after school me and delphine went to get a cookie ^^;; and then i got really hyper!!!! But uhm, after that i didnt do anything at all! Delphine spent the night with our grandma so that in the morning she could go get her colorado drivers liscence(since her current one is for new mexico) i was sad because she wasnt around to watch prject runway with, so it just wasnt the same lol Uhm about my grapefruit skirt, its called that because i couldnt think of the exact color it was, so.. it reminded me of grapefruit.. cause its that pinkish color a grapefruit is! Umm, i just woke up and its about 3 AM, school is in 4 hours ~_~;; but anyway, while i was in the middle of typing this my dog all of a sudden barks, so i ignore it thinking its gonna stop but then she gets louder and louder. i didnt want her to wake up my dad so went out to see that she was barking at the kitchen door that leads to my back yard, and i also realised my other dog that was outside was barking to, but anyway i turned on the porchlight, nothing was there.. ~_~;; but they were going crazy!! it was prolly a fox or a rabbit or something.. however it seems a little cold here for the rabbits to be out already... it was prolly the fox !_! Well, this is long enough.. i shall end it/

Comments (3) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

hmm

Hmm well my day was kind of sucky. First off, i got up and decided to wear my cute grapefruit skirt(thats what i call it lol i know i gave in and ignored the excuse i made on skirts) and when i was ready to go, my dad was sick, so he didnt want to take me, and i felt bad so i didnt make him. But i was also really mad.. and then i felt really bad again because he felt really bad for not taking me.. ~_~;;; Also, i advertised my anime forum on an anime group on myspace, and some guy messeged me saying this: AAAH! When you said anime forum I thought you'd direct me to one that's more live and got cooler members (joke) and cooler topics than this one! (disappointment) Ah well I still can be nice and join your group I guess. But remember "Dont worry, im already dead inside", it's not about how many members you got, it's about who they are. And how lively (not) the 9476 members are (right now) proves my word... Sayonara :P Im not sure how i feel about it, i told him im sorry for disappointing him, and that im only trying to get members that enjoy being on the board.. It makes me kind of sad, i was hoping for this board to be fun ya know? But i kind of feel that i should give up on it, even though i just started it. well, im kind of tired so i think im gonna go to bed.. i get out of school at 10:17 tommarrow ^^ yey. Have a nice day my loves.

Comments (8) | Permalink

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Hey

Hello ^^ so today i did not wear a skirt lol.. its to cold to wear stuff like that anyway right? Thats my excuse.. Uhm, i stayed up all night and around 6 AM me and delphine went for a walk ~_~ it was freaking cold lol. Then i went to school, it was a very uneventful day! when i got home, i fell asleep O.o untill like 1 AM.. which is like, 11 hours of sleep ~_~;;; it was nice though.. Uhm, sorry about some of the images not working on my site the other day, i forgot i deleted my forum(not the anime one thats still around) my artistic forum.. and i also deleted myui's button without realising it o.o;; its back now ^^ So, please go visit Delphine She just changed her layout and it looks awesome ^^ Umm.. im sort of sad because i missed FLCL tonight ~_~;; not that i havent seen it like a billion times but its just so nice to watch ^^;; Thats about it i suppose.. ~_~;;

Comments (5) | Permalink