Tuesday, December 4, 2007

bah

Soooo... how is everyone? Not much to update on personally... but i thought i would because im so bored ^^; So a couple eh, months ago(i think) i deleted my writing forum because with work and my family moving and all that i didnt have enough time to regularly update and make sure everything was ok with it. But since it feels like i no longer have a job i decided to Open it back up. Tonight i hope to round up some old and new members but at the moment im feeling really lazy ~_~;; Hopefully in spite of everything im going through right now, this will chear me up a bit ^^; you know how i love my writing. So, about a month or so ago i visited the library xD Since them, i havent even picked up the books i checked out and now i have a late fee that grows daily. ~_~ LUCKILY i dont have to work tomorrow or, well, at all untill friday so hopefully i can get down there. :/ Despite my sadness in this lack of work its also inspired me to get some work done around the house! For example, my room still looks like a clothes tornado ran through it xD and i REALLY need to clean the stove and oven <<; and i bet i can get my sister to clean her beta fish' tank out O.o its getting mucky. *sigh* so those are my only plans for...well... the whole week ): have a nice day all

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Sunday, December 2, 2007

whoo

So ive been going bleach crazy this week. It all started on Thursday when i was happily catching up with adult swims replay of the show. it left me on a cliff-hanger so i just had to download the next episode. O.o well that ended up in the next 10 episodes <<; and on from there. it took me forever to find episode 54 though D= i had to download a special version of quick time in the end to play it XD it was worth it. Still have yet to find episode 4 of red garden :( my search goes on. I AM SO PISSED OFF THOUGH. So, i come into work yesterday and check my schedule. Well, they decided to drop me down to 4 days, and then 3 days O.o i was pissed. and then TONIGHT i check my schedule again and now i only work 2 days. I cant believe that! i never had a chance to talk to my general manager about it so tomorrow i will. i dont know how to feel about it other then, now i really have to find a new job. hopefully one thats closer and doesnt screw me over on my hours. Can they even do that? i mean, i know they can but...ugh..i dunno. im just so mad about it. ): Anyway, im still not sure if i want to change my website, ill have to do some more thinking about it ^^ have a nice day everyone

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Friday, November 30, 2007

eep

yeesh its already friday! xD the week went by pretty fast for me :/ I had this 3 days off from work this week and i honestly didnt do much of anything xD i went groccery shopping and that was it... But i do have to work today and over the weekend ^^ hopefully they dont send me home early cause i really need the hours ~.^ My sister bought these japanese cookies called "panda yummies" theyre really cute, but i think they taste exactly like pocky just in...panda cookie form <<; *cough* So i still cant find the 4th episode of the anime show "Red garden". well, i can find it i just cant find it with English subs. :/ i found a french sub though ;.; so i have been muchly sad about that... Right now im waiting for bleach to come on O.o i have the biggest headache ever. i pretty much just got done putting up the christmas tree with my sister. it wasnt pretty, we both didnt really want to do it and the cats kept getting in our way and knocking things off and chewing on everything. X.x but its done now thank god. well i think thats about it. have a nice day everyone ^^ oh and also, im thinking of changing my website, which i havent done in about a year or so. what do you guys think??

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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

eep

well, seeing as how no one replied to my last post i was going to post it again today but instead, i think ill use todays post to rant about my problems :3 again. that is, if you dont mind, just some more thinking about it ya know? For those that dont know, i dropped out of school, i could go on about why and stuff but i dont want to go through any of that today. my main reason, was because it just wasnt working. i tried my best, well actually thats a lie, i know i didnt. but i did try while keeping in mind all of my other problems. lets just say, family came first to me, when i never came first to any of them. but in my senior year i realized, that i couldnt do that anymore, i couldnt put myself through the agony and embarrassment, and the struggle of juggling it all. I get many opinions about this of course, everyone in the end tells me that i need my high school diploma. but i dont need it. I guess by dropping out i took a harder road, but to me it isnt harder, to me it will be just as hard as before but on my own terms and time. I dont think anyone believes in me lol. sometimes, i wonder if im only falsely believing in myself. To be honest, im scared to death of the future. im scared to death of what i can, and cannot accomplish. i think most of all, im scared of letting myself down. i have one more shot ya know? what if i fail at this to? The shot im thinking about, in case any of you are lost in this jumble of text, is getting my GED. which would give me a chance at something you know? This takes time, and money. and it takes a whole lot more of me, because i have a lot of personal problems i need to get over to make it work. some of those problems, ive tried so long to overcome, theyre the demons of my mind really. Sometimes, like now actually, i feel really weak.like im trying to climb stairs im not worthy of climbing. and other times, i feel so motivated that i know i can do this, that i know i have it in me. but i dont know whats stopping me from not doing anything. the only thing that doesn't make me just give up and live with the life i have is the fact that i hate this life, that i have dreams and that i know if im stuck in this house, with these people for much longer i wont be able to get out. theres no way im going to be held down by them anymore. now theres just the problem of getting past my own insecurities, and following that plan i set up. and stop ignoring my will to move forward in life.

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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I will be ranting, get prepared.

Hello! so i god paid on sunday, my paycheck was only 143 dollars and you know what? i realised i owed my dad 164 *headdesk* i couldnt beleive it O.o normally im really good at budgeting my money but i guess i didnt realise my paycheck would be so small this time *sigh*. I will most deffinatly have to get another job. my grandmother suggested a laundry cleaners (she works at one) and she said my hours would most likely be 6AM-2PM which would mean i could probably keep my job at the restaurant to. the cleaners is located in windsor, which is a town closer then the town my other job is in. But im terrified of having a job there because ive honestly never been to windsor so i dont know my way around -_-;(im retarted when it comes to directions and remembering them xD). lol, but ill get over it ^^ so, i managed to get my hands on the 6th volume of chibi vampire, which is probably why im so over my budget xD; but it was great, and it ended on a cliffhanger!!! Which means i have to wait untill february 28th for the next issue ;.; Ive also recently taken the time to check out the anime show "red garden" which i really like! but i cant find episodes 4-10 that are english subbed :/ all i can find is french! ;.; so im sad, i was really getting into it! the downside of the anime was that sometimes the charectors would burst into song! O.o the first time it happened i was like "What the hell?!" xD but i shall live with it because i love the storyline. So lately ive been having problems with my Wireless connection. not that it logs me out or anything but its interfering with my Instant messeging programs xD While other people seem to get all of my instant messeges, i hardly get theres. O.o its not my programs, i downloaded AIM just to see if it was my YIM. and it happened there as well. *sigh* i hate it! xD im not quite sure what to do about it :/ to end my post, i thought i would add a picture of red garden ^^ just 'cause. have a nice day everyone.

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Saturday, November 24, 2007

wierd

So, one of my Online friends, who ive been friends with for about 4 years now just had a kid. He is younger then i am(im 17) but i know he'll be a great father. Its wierd, it makes me think back on why he is so special to me even though we've never met. ^^; i remember when he was an overweight 13 year old that loved the band Korn and was obbsessed with some girl named sarah. lol... he's grown so much it makes me wonder how much ive grow since then, it makes me feel like i havent grown very much. i love this kid, and i hope he knows that, and i am so happy for him and the mother(theyre not together...) and i thought i would share the cuteness of his newborn :3 his name is jason scott:

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Thursday, November 22, 2007

oki

Well, its 6 AM at the moment, i woke up at 5 to prepare the turkey by 6. ~_~ it didnt start off so well. So, as i take the turkey out of the refrigerator, turkey blood suddenly goes everywhere. But idiot mother put it on a tiny plate platter and wrapped it in some broken groccery bag O.o dont ask why i thought she could do something as simple as thawing a turkey, its my own fault really, i should have known she wouldn't get it right. So after swearing loudly and locking all the cats in the basement so that they wouldnt get into the stuff, i changed and cleaned it up ~_~ i suppose cleaning the turkey and getting it in didnt go so bad, is a freaking huge turkey so it just barely fits in to our roaster, im hoping that wont effect cooking time because its already supposed to cook 7, almost 8 hours(hence why im up so early). is anyone else up? no. Did anyone else even consider the cooking time? No. *sigh* i certaintly hope they help me out today. Oh! and i forgot to mention that i dont have to work today after all ^^ theres this girl tosha at work who is like, an old employee that just came back from college, she's been waitressing a couple times this week and she USED to be there hostess so dawn made her work today. it bugs me though because it seems like dawn favors her. shes a college student so i hope she doesnt revert back to hostessing :/ ill feel totally screwed over, because they cant even give ME enough hours xD. Ive washed my hands a bazzilion times since the turkey and i still smell like turkey and butter O.o; im contemplating going back to sleep or taking a shower xD i dont want to be tired all day but i mean, im up already you know? even if it is 6 AM... Oh! so yesterday i baught this really cute sweater dress ^^ it was on sale from 129 dollars to 30 bucks :3 i couldnt resist. xD more clothes *sigh* and i really need to buy some winter clothes soon(did i mention it also snowed the other day and we've had the crappiest of crappy weather). have a nice thanksgiving everyone.

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

ugh

*dies* So i got called into work are 2 PM, which is 3 hours earlier then i was supposed to. we weren't busy AT ALL like my manager had thought so she ended up going in the back and helped the bakers bake pies(being thanksgiving we have tons of pie orders) while i was up front. well she ended up doing that for 5 hours! so i was not only there those 3 hours but also the 3 hours of my regular shift. so im exhausted and i officially hate the phone at work xD it was ringing OFF THE HOOK the whole time i was there. i wanted to take a hammer to it or something xD damn phone. so we got the food from my grandmother. the turkey is incredibly huge xD but i still need fruit and potatoes ~_~ blah. and i learned that we have to eat pretty early :/ so now im really nervous about thanksgiving because i honestly dont know if everything can be ready by then. well, not much else to say. have a good day everyone.

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

lol

well, i got most everything i needed to get done yesterday done, although i didnt get to my room xD and im feeling lazy today before work. HOPEFULLY todays service leader will call and say she doesnt need me. My sister was supposed to help my grandmother today but she isnt up yet so im not sure when shes supposed to go but if she does go that means i have to go so she can take me to work :/ im honestly not looking forward to it xD i dont want to help clean ): I have a feeling she wont have to because its 34 degrees in town xD even if i do get out of work and cleaning i still have to drive all the way into town, and accross town to pick up the food for thanksgiving from my grandmother. She baught this huge 22 pound turkey and a ham x.x which is more then enough food for 9 people xD does anyone watch heroes?! i of course am obsessed with it and last nights episode was SO GOOD. i having to wait a whole week xD im so impatient. Hnn. O.o can you tell i really have nothing to blog about? Have a nice day all

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Monday, November 19, 2007

blah

So today is my only day off untill NEXT monday so hopefully i can get everything done that i need to before Thanksgiving. Lets see, i need to call everyone to know what theyre bringing xD cause everyone is bringing stuff and im not sure what! which isnt good! And i need to ask my dad if he wants to order pies from my work, which is what my mom wants to do and what i told my grandmothers we were doing so xD he better say yes, that way i can just pay for them and bring them home that very day. i also need to figure out where we're getting plates. beleive it or not, we dont have 9 matching plates xD or silverware, we actually have these nice retro colored silverware but it doesnt seem good for thanksgiving. i also need bread. and some fruit for jello. although i havent decided on what fruits xD cranberry sounds nice obviously but my parents dont like cranberries... :/ hmm. raspberrys? Thats sounds good.. i dunno xD;; i also need to clean my room xD its like a clothes tornado tore through it <<; *sigh* i have to many clothes... i think thats it though xD it doesnt seem like much but you have to include my general laziness, lack of caring from my parents and the fact that heroes is on tonight :3 oh and i suppose ill have to make dinner xD cause eating is important *doh* -_-' have a nice monday everyone :3

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