Sunday, August 28, 2005

oki

I havent updated in 2 days, buut its all good...not really my mother is gone again, and i cant say my dad is inocent this time cause he isnt. they are both drinking to much, my grandparents on my mothers side are no help.. all they care about is getting moms money is the way i see it. Umm.. lets see.. no good news really.. i havent done anything at all this weekend,.. Oh yeah, i felt really shunned on friday cause i have the same off period as megan and kaylen, and i was going outside to sit with them untill there ride came cause they were leaving, and they like..walked away when they saw me. And that lunch seemed to be going really well cause we were getting to see how many freshmen would let megan sit on there lap.. only 4 but we are planning on doing the same on monday.. >< im kinda afraid megan is gonna become a slut or a bitch atleast.. Lol.. she is a bitch.. but i mean a bitch bitch you know? mwahaha this girl i sit next to in sculpture is gonna get me a pressy at this years anime convention cause i wont be going :3 i should give her 20 bucks so she can buy me more.. lol.. O.o i think there is something wrong with me.. im like..eating less.. Seriously all i had for dinner was a can of tuna..well thats all i had for the whole day actaully eccept for a couple chunks of fruit.. *sniffle* Im still not hungry.. which is wierd, we all know i like to eat *Gets all proud* cause i dont gain a pound usually.. mwahahaha... its a curse really...nothing to be proud of.. :o i was called a freshmen... im all "...wft?!" pfft... freshmen my ass.. *pushes a freshmen into a locker* Im no freshmen...

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Thursday, August 25, 2005

OK

Well, Today i had Biology which i hate. You know all those immature guys that talk every 5 seconds, and they always say something stupid? well like, there are about 8 guys in the class that do that. i have no one in that class at all.. *sigh* plus its in a cottage and its gonna be really cold.. Ecommerce and web design was fun :3 i guess... Lol and then accounting actaully wasnt bad at all, i think i will like it.. i mean accounting wont be so terrible, what if i wanted to own my own anime store right??? Which.. is a good possibility.. I only had 3 classes today, so i got to get out at 11:39 but i had to wait untill 12:00 cause thats when my dad could get off work :3 but its ok cause megan and kaylen have the same off period as me, so i got to talk to them and Devin while waiting for him... My sister(kojima emi that never updates) doesnt like new mexico and stuff. i think she likes college, im sure she just wishes it was here and not in another state. she hates her english class and was gonna ditch tommarrow so im all "if you ditch, im gonna ditch math!!!" so hopefully it worked and she wont ditch for my sake...

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Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Hey

Well its 4 AM here, i just woke up and cant get back to sleep. Yesterday was my first day of school, i have english with one of my good friends, and i think some guy was flirting with me.. lol. then in Algebra(i know..sphomore in algebra..im an idiot) i really hated it cause my freshmen friend KC barely even said hi, what? am i not kool enough for her friends? pshh.. freshmen. Plus i dont have the same teacher, and the one i had last year, im a little attached to. The in comp. graphics there were so many people that i like there :3 inclufing this guy.. his name is like.. brad or something.. Hes kinda cute.. >< but its the first day its not like im gonna be gettin any soon. And finally in sculpture i dont like my teacher, and at first the room seemed kinda stale cause no one at my table really knew each other, but by the end we were all pretty good aquantences.. and the freshmen accros from me is kinda cool. Its wierd, all the freshmen this year are all and hot O_O whats up with that? Oh and i got to go out to lunch since im now aloud.. and i went to lunch with Ryan kaylen andrea and megan.. it was fun ^^'' then it started to rain when school let out, and by the time i got to the car i was drenched, and i was barely in it! then it hailed after a couple seconds of me being in the car.. hah.. i know im cruel but it was funny seeing everyone that was still outside gettings impailed with hail.. 2 other things i hated-i saw David and old freshmen friend from my past. and then Marco barely even noticed me, seriously. i looked him up and down like i always do(Cause hes just so damn fine) and stared at him in this ammused way, and its like..he looked right past me.. i felt hurt. well, my next schoolday is in like..2 hours. so i will be sure to come home and tell you about it i have accounting painting biolagy and..er.. ecommerce and web design i think actually, i dont have one of those cause i have an open block at the end of the day... >< i prolly have painting next semester? i dunno.. tell ya later ^^ tommarrow or something.

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Monday, August 22, 2005

oki

Hey everyone ^^ i made this nice avatar banner buti accidently pressed dont save >< how stupid was that!?! *sniffle* it took me awhile to make it to.. AHHHHH Ivory never got on, hopefully she will get on withen the couple hours, but its already 12 AM there o.o its my last nigth to stay up and call it a summer break night(hope that didnt confuse you) becuase school is on tuesday. and guess what... i have no way to get home! Nope, my dad works, mom cant drive anymore and my grandparents think its just to damn hard to pick me up cause apparently they work..when they really dont work at the time i get out. all well, by march, i can drive myself :3 so NYA BITCHES!! Yeah.. im drinking Coca cola for once..so im kinda hyper.. Tomarrow hopefully will be kinda funner then today. allllll wellllll. I put up a new midi. i tried to put up an MP3 but every host i try to upload my fav. song wont ever upload it!!! >< annoying.... Hugs and bloody kisses, Brandi!!

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Sunday, August 21, 2005

:/

just about 10 minutes ago my sister drove away.. won see her till thanksgiving... *sigh* its wierd adding her to my IM list.. ive never really talked to her online, unless we were both at school, and and...we would talk through neomail, cause that was the only way, and we werent even aloud on neopets... *sniffle*.. I didnt cry.. i dont know what your talking about :P

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...

Im feeling like shit. Im so scared of this year.. this past week has really hit hard.. and im feeling more alone then ever. my sister is leaving in about 6 hours.... Im stuck here alone with my father and mother untill next year.. great.. and school starts on monday.. and im so scared that i will have no one at all to be with in that school. Im feeling more cut out of the world then i ever have before. I even feel like all my online friends are losing interest in me.. Like.. maybe they wont be there for me either soon... and i dont want to break down becuase of it.. but i feel so cornered right now.. what the hell do i do?! what the hell did i do? I like myself, i do. But its hard to keep liking myself when it feels like everyone else in the world hates me. Its hard to get up in the morning, when you wonder, why are you getting up anyway? no one really wants to see you, its not like you have any plans.. A lot of my friends say theyre afraid to be alone. And all i have to say is, they should be.. becuase its scary.. and hard.. i would know.

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Tuesday, August 16, 2005

>< im in a bad mood

Today i went shopping, you know, for clothes. and i got some good clothes.. but anyway, there was this girl there and she had an MCR shirt and you know me, obbsessed with MCR, so im all "Hey MCR, i love them" and she looks me up and down... and goes "Im guessing your a poser." ........now what?! Oh no she di-int!!*snaps fingers* im all "And why do you think that?" all calmly. "Because, your dressed in hot pink skirt and some ugly black top." ......what??? im all "Hey listen girly, i can be wearing a rainbow wig and a bright red nose, and i can still like MCR you stupid bitch!" I swear, people just dont learn.. you cant mess with the future ruler of the world... Bitch... god.. >< I was watching boys v. girls on teh N and this girl paris was talking about how she didnt fit in, well.. that got me thinking about all my life, i never really fit in either. atleast not at school.. and then when i finally found friend that i thought eccepted me, i was thrown out on my ass... left with nothing. and even now more then ever i feel very empty.. you know.. like that feeling that you have where it seems like, where you are, is making you uncomfertable.. and year heart beats really fast.. and there is no where you can think of being that will make that feeling go away... it sucks... Dont think im feeling sorry for myself.. im not one to do that, its just.. i dont want to do this anymore.. i dont want to feel left out anymore.. i dont want to feel like i dont belong anywhere at all..... Ive had a lot of trouble with finding my way these past years of my life.. and with everything thats happened.. i just want to give up and drop dead already... But its sad..cause im afraid to die..; The Assassin. What was your job in a past life? (LOTS of results & Anime Pics) brought to you by Quizilla

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Monday, August 15, 2005

hi

well....riiiiiight... yeah...umm.. well its just hard to think of things to say... So yeah.. i went shopping but i didnt get any clothes >< only school supplies and shoes... so yeah.. clothes shopping tommarrow ^^;;; Umm.. i got a new green eyeliner, but its Uber hard to put on, its very light.. i luff it, but its just so damn light, i find myself atabbing my eye cause its so hard to put on >< darnit... School it next week on tuesday, the 23rd.. *sigh* i hate school so much.. more then i could possibly express ya know?? Nya.. I heard that Tom felton wont be playing Draco Malfoy anymore after teh 4th movie.. which is a bummer.. i seriously almost died of a heartattack when i found out.. *sniffle* it pains me to think about it.. im officially taking down my first fanfiction, calle deceiving eyes. Yup.. all 21 chapters. Taking it down from the internet.. i havent gotten any reviews for it lately.. and im also stopping my draco fic and i will be working on my demon, anime, and Holly Fic from now on.. though.... im sure none of you read any of them lol. I guess thats it..

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Sunday, August 14, 2005

oki

New pic of me up, or atleast there should be. i like it more then the other :3 OMG :( Did anyone catch s-cry-ed?!!? OMG NOOOOOOOO *sobs* kirishima!!! NO *bawls* it sucks.. .god.. why...why!?!?! WHY?!? Paranoia agent just gets wierder.. but i will tolerate it, it seems like its coming down to the end *yey* sorry.. its just its starting to annoy me. I didnt really catch inuyasha, instead i kinda watched kill bill 1 again.. becuase...well.. kill bill rox my sox.. you know?! Im going shopping today. ive got 120 bucks to spend on close, school needs, and..er... getting my haircut and colored again ^^;; i swear, my roots arent even my natural color anymore, they;ve turned like black.. anywho so yeah... i dunno if im going to get my haircut.. cause my hair seems fine, and im afraid to go way short you know? cause my head is like..round.. lol.. I think thats about it.. school starts in a weekk *bites nails* and my mother might get out any day now.. she was supposed to be let out on thursday, everyone was surprised that she wasnt >< grr. oh yeah, and i just downloaded Loop, by Maaya sakamoto. Its from.... *thinks* ...tsubasa chronicles i think.. ^^ i like it.. i dowloaded it for my sister, and she is into jpop.. but i think i want to download more j-rock. Like for example i just downloaded a song by kagrra.. i think they did the..er... Beggining or ending of s-cry-ed or something like that.. but yeah, there more indies rock according to newtype magazine >< doesnt matter... alt. rock is so my thing.. so yeah..

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Saturday, August 13, 2005

Oki

well, im luvin my webcam.. maybe i'll add another pic before i go to bed.. :3 im happy cause both of my best online buddies got to see me, one ive known for almost 4 years.. it ws great.. so ummmm.. anime on adult swim comes on tonight.. yey :3 Im supposed to get my haircut.. but i dont think i need it.. im thinking of red or purple streaks.. what do you all think??

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