Thursday, October 25, 2007

ugh

Bah! sorry for not updating. I didn't have the internet for like, 3 days because we were in the process of moving. We're officially moved in and whatnot. it takes me half an hour to get to work now x.x Speaking of work, tommarrow i work from 11:30 AM till 1 PM. which is a new thing normally i work nights. but the general manager at my work says she wont be needing me on nights soon so she's trying to see how i do on days ^^; it sucks, i really need the money but at the same time i hate working 5 days a week and making so little. not much has been up lately to be honest. ive been neglecting getting ready for my writing competition. darn me! >< Oh, and i deleted my writing forum. i dont have time for it, and it seemed like everytime i tried to make it better, it got me nowhere. ive also been having problems with an online friend. i love this girl, she's been there for me alot but lately she's changed. she like, rubs her great new life on me. she acts like she's better then me, and she acts like she doesnt give a damn about it. i dont want to get into it but..gah. im just tired of her crap.

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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

eep

Damn its been awhile since i updated this! So first off, we're moving. which i already mentioned. Well, i was happy about the move at first, hoping to find the right house for our family and whatnot. But the house my parents found i hate! the house itself is nice. But its really far away from my work, hell its not even in the same town as my work and we practically have no backyard. i have to live with a really small room untill my dad builds me one in the unfinished basement. i can hardly see the mountains. the house is in the middle of nowhere.i could go on. So, im not to happy about it, and i will really miss living in the town i live in now. we've been packing our stuff all this week and should be fully moved into our new house withen the week :/ in other news, we're getting a new internet service provider. you all know how i constantly complain about my DSL not working at night, well we've gotten fed up with it finally and we're switching to a better, faster DSL service once we get into our new house. im excited. So, i talked about this before but i shall mention it again. in november a national writing competition is going on where thousands of people around the world compete to see if they can write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. i of course, love this compeition and have been raving about it all year. if anyone else is entering the competition, my username on the website is "Myurr" and you can listen to my progress and me going insane over the next month at my personal nanowrimo 07 blog by Clicking Here. this will take up alot of my time in november. hell, its taking up alot of my time in october xD so dont be surprised if i hardly update this blog. also, i baught myself a deck of tarot cards. which i have been wanting for quite awhile but havent been in the mood to spend money on. so, while i was browsing barnes and noble i saw a deck of them and it was kind of spur of the moment- i bought them! i wish i hadnt, and looked on the internet and researched a bit more to find a deck that i connect with. :/ however i am enjoying my new deck :3 Also, i just turned it to bleach and realised that adult swim is finally showing them at the episodes where i need to start watching again xD i completely stopped watching bleach awhile back and have been trying to get into it again without killing my brain on youtube or veoh XD and also DEATHNOTE IS STARTING SOON. i cant wait XD i mean i can always watch these online but i have more motivation to watch them when theyre on tv xD; i dunno why. well, i think thats about it. have a nice week everyone.

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Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Boo

Well, my sleeping schedule has been really wierd these last few days ~_~;;; But hopefully ill have enough energy for work xD; YEY ITS OCTOBER! i love october :3 i cant believe how much ive been slacking on my story planning ~_~;; i really need to get on that before november comes around :X well at the moment im looking up a couple recipes because i want to make pumpkin cookies and banana bread but ive never made either(my sisters the baker in the family and SHE only want to make sugar cookies shaped like pumpkins but i dont want that!) So im going to try my best with making them tommarrow and i bet i can get my sister to help out a bit ~.^;; hopefully! Oh! did anyone hear about that gruesome murder in Belgium? apparently there were a couple notes relating to the anime death note found near a couple of severed body parts that were scattered around Belgium's Duden Park X.x thats terrible! heres the whole article if your interested CLICKEH! Have a nice day all :3

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Hey

Well, not much to really put in this blog xD so it will be short... I didn't have to come into work on Tuesday, the manager said i wasn't needed because we just weren't busy enough. i was happy- i got to sleep in. i was also annoyed-that means less money in my next paycheck :/ i am on dial-up again >< the last time i brought up that i was having issue with my DSL someone said to call the service provider, well my dad does every time we have problems with it and so far no one has given us a straight answer, last time he threatened to cut off our service from them if it wasnt resolved :/ that hard thing about that is- we're long time costomers of our service provider and having the hastle to find a new one thats just as cheap is a bit to much for us right now :/ although i think that once we move into our new house we'll have a lot more time to find a worthy DSL service ^^; does anyone else happen to have DSL, if so whats your service provider and how much is it xD;

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Monday, September 24, 2007

this weekend, i had somewhat of a mental breakdown. i wont go into details, but the good(or bad) thing is i got everything i needed to say out in the open to the people i wanted to say it all to. well, except for codey, but how can i tell him he's nonexistant in my life when..well...thats just it! hes never around to say anything to. out of the 3 of them. i miss him the most, i wish he loved me as much as i love him...its not fair that everyone i love hardly loves me. in other news, heroes premieres today! my all time favorite show :3 i cant wait. i work on tuesday O.o which is odd because i dont normally work tuesdays <<;;;

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Friday, September 21, 2007

boo

Work today was boring O.o a health inspector should be coming in sometime so ive been scrubbing everything xD there was a fly stuck i the muffin case today O.o; i have yet to kill the little basterd without harming the muffins ^^;;; So today my sister got pulled over because she forgot to turn her headlights on! *smacks her in the forehead* xD she didnt get a ticket of course but it was the first time she had ever been pulled over! lol. Man, i cant wait for it to be october. to be honest, i want to feel the cold weather ~_~;; lol and plus-halloween! Yayness =D i love halloween! although, november is getting closer O.o; i should really get to planning my story. whenever i sit down to my mind wanders onto something else xD;;(for those that dont know, Nanowrimo, the national writing competition starts in november.) well, thats about it lol. Enjoy the Orgasmic sound of alan rickmans voice xD; for he is my new imeem "song" today(i know he's reading poetry just shut up xD it counts)

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Thursday, September 20, 2007

yay

So wednesday was pretty nice. i stayed up untill like 7 Am reading a book called "poison study" it was a fairly decent book :/ and just because i have to, i need to pick up the 2nd book <<;; Also, i didnt have to go to work which was nice- cause i was able to sleep all day and bad-because that means less money :( but anyway, so theyre paving the main road that runs through our town and they happen to be doing it infront of my work, its been really bad for buisness and so my manager said there was no reason for me to show up since they hadnt had many costomers. Oh! and right after i picked up chibi vampire 2 i picked up 3 & 4 (i thinkin i mentioned that already) but that night i made my dad go pick up number 5 because i couldnt wait xD and then the next day i went to pick up number 6 but they didnt have a copy :/ so im bummed, and im pretty sure 1-6 is all thats been released ><' but im enjoying it =D So, on my writing forum ive been talking about hold a referal contest for my members, where they can refer members and whoever refered the most at the end of the month wins a prize :3 doesnt that sound nice? Im trying to get them to advertise the forum because i know NONE of them are doing so and its getting really tough trying to get members to join on my own ya know? So if you know anyone that likes to write...send them to my forum ~.^ lol Well, thats about it.. :/ have a nice day all.

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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

When i first entered highschool my grandmother baught me this large, 5 subject notebook. It was red. i wrote everything in this notebook. it is the only thing on this planet, that knows everything about me. That knows who i really am. I had this notebook for 3 years, where i wrote almost everyday in it. I wrote many things in it, mostly just my thoughts on how i hated school. I also wrote some of my stories in it. One night, at the beggining of 2007 i had some sort of mental breakdown, most likely set in motion by my mother. and i tore out every blank page that was left. I realised that the notebook was a symbol of how dark i became, how depressed i became over those years. But i couldnt bring myself to throw it away. so i took away its only hold on me, the ability to write in it. its just sitting on a shelf in my room now, and tonight i decided to finally pick it up and read some of what i wrote. Im horrified. Im ashamed of what i wrote....im amazed at some of the stuff i had written. i dont even remember writing some of it... I was a depressed teenage girl with friends that didnt give a damn, a mother that loved drugs and alcohal more then her family, a father that kept bringing her back into our life and grandparents, that couldnt help in any of it. i was hollow, yet i wasnt, in where i felt like all of that was swirling inside of me, eating me away slowly. When i look at the notebook now. i want to burn it . i even want to blame it for everything that happened. but thats just stupid. i cant beleive, that i let my get that so deep in the depression pool O.o why didnt i try and do something about? i cant beleive i let it get so bad. although, this notebook was the only thing i had. i have never really had anyone in my life where i could tell them everything. and even now i have no one to do that with. its depressing, having no one at all. O.o; i cant even begin to describe what it feels like when you realize that your completely alone in the world. But i do know its the most horrific feeling ive ever had. Im sorry this is so personal and depressing, i really needed to get that out.

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Monday, September 17, 2007

hey

well, work was SUPER boring on sunday lol, i got sent home early and i had a big headache ~_~; but i did get paid! so yay. i went and picked up volumes 3 and 4 of chibi vampire :3 i have yet to read them but im happy =D we also ended up buying a new PS2 game <<; cause me and my sister were bored xD we baught this tennis game(idontrememberwhatitscalled...) And it is SO FRACKING FUN AND ADDICTING XD i we played it for like 2 hours nonstop <<;;;;; my sister baught a new car. its an old volkswagon beatle but its all nice and fixed up. its really nice =D guess who gets her old car? ****ME**** =D which is awesome of course :3 bad part of the day- i missed NDK(the anime convention in colorad) this weekend :( i wish i could have gone. and...im back on dial-up because for some reason my DSL doesnt work at night alot O.o; i keep thinking it might be the weather but..its pretty nice outside aside from a couple of clouds :/ i hate dial-up.. ITS SO SLOW. Lol well have a nice day all.

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Saturday, September 15, 2007

^^

I think im getting more into anime again. Not only do i *plan* to catch up on blood+ but i noticed FMA restarted so i thought i would watch that since, before it never caught my eye, but i know its a wonderful anime so im sure ill get hooked. My sister also baught the first two DVDs of fruits basket cause they were on sale =D i cant wait to watch them lol. oh! and i baught volume 2 of the tarot cafe and volume 2 of chibi vampire. and I CANT WAIT UNTILL SUNDAY when i get paid so i can run over b&n and get number 3(and possibly 4) of chibi vampire :3 im enjoying it so far, as well as the anime. and im currently downloading like, all the songs on the playlist thats on my profile :3 i dunno im just in an anime/manga/japanese mood xD its making me happy lol. NOW IF ONLY I COULD SIT DOWN AND WRITE SOMETHING. then i would be in heaven :O but i guess i cant have everything ~.^; So, today is saterday, which is the busiest day at my work =D i cant wait, i love it when its busy because then my shift goes really fast, and im not just standing around doing nothing xD i wanted to spend this next paycheck on fall clothes but i dunno o.o; i might just spend it all on manga <<; lets hope not because after this, im saving all of my paychecks for a laptop xD good luck to me... its so hard not to spend money <<; lol. Have a nice weekend all.

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