myOtaku.com: LiquidSilver

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1990-03-17
Gender
• Female
Location
• Inside 'The World'
Member Since
• 2005-04-24
Occupation
• Professional Sheep Critic.(is your sheep good enough?) And a waitress.
Real Name
• Brandi!

I managed to ditch a whole semester of school. DITCHING IS BAD!
Anime Fan Since
• Since i was little, But realized what it was around 6th grade.
Favorite Anime
•

Goals
• Get my GED, The Licsense.
Hobbies
• WRITING, reading, internet, music, culture, vampires, mermaids, art, subeta, harry potter, fantasy, bitching...mya you all know. xD
Talents
• Im good at writing. at least i think i am lol. its my passion, without it i would wither away and die.

myOtaku.com: LiquidSilver

Friday, February 2, 2007

Dont look at me that way.

Ok, this is whats been going on. (actually lets go back a couple years) If i hadnt ever mentioned this(which is unlikely that i havent) my mother is a recovering drug addict. she is an alcholic(a supposed recovering one but she still drinks everyday)

so..basically the last couple of years have been hell for me, because of her. She's been in countless rehabs, caused so much trouble, and taken away so much from me, recently, it seemed like she was finally getting better(aside from the alcohol) but, i was just snooping around her room, because i was suspicious and guess what! my suspicion was correct. in the top droor of her dresser i found DRUGS. a bag of DRUGS. last night, i was freaking out, i was so mad i thought i was gonna be sick(seriously..i thought i was gonna throw up..) it just pisses me off so bad that she's back to her old ways! and it enfuriates me that my dad is letting her!!! because theres no way she could have gotten these drugs without him. God it makes me so mad. and its hard for me to feel sympathy for him, because in some ways, he's a victam, he always has been a victam to my mother. but in other ways, he deserves what he gets. he should know that what he did, by giving her the drugs, not only gives her an excuse to blame him for it all, but it also gives her an excuse to go back to rehab, befriend all her druggy friends again, and leave us like she has so many times before.

I seriously, used to think my dad would always be there for me. but now, its like, i realise that i have no one. Because my dad is at as much fault as my mother. he's hurting me just as much as she is. maybe even more, because i love him so much(and hate my mother). i just know what this is going to lead to...constant fighting, my dad getting drunk, my mom leaving to be with her druggy friends. me not being able to stand the atmosphere in the house, because dad will come to me every hour asking "What are we gonna do now" and all i will want to say is "Just live with it, its partly your fault, you need to fucking get over it! I HAVE" but that will never happen.

i seriously dont know what to do. i almost had the guts to flush the drugs but then my mom would get mad, and i dunno if i could actually confess that i did it. i dunno if i can be able to tell like, my grandmother or something, because i know that she'll get mad at dad too, and for some reason i cant have that. I just dont know what to do, im on the verge of a mental breakdown. I honestly, cant go through this anymore.

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