myOtaku.com: LiquidSilver

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1990-03-17
Gender
• Female
Location
• Inside 'The World'
Member Since
• 2005-04-24
Occupation
• Professional Sheep Critic.(is your sheep good enough?) And a waitress.
Real Name
• Brandi!

I managed to ditch a whole semester of school. DITCHING IS BAD!
Anime Fan Since
• Since i was little, But realized what it was around 6th grade.
Favorite Anime
•

Goals
• Get my GED, The Licsense.
Hobbies
• WRITING, reading, internet, music, culture, vampires, mermaids, art, subeta, harry potter, fantasy, bitching...mya you all know. xD
Talents
• Im good at writing. at least i think i am lol. its my passion, without it i would wither away and die.

myOtaku.com: LiquidSilver

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

eep

well, seeing as how no one replied to my last post i was going to post it again today but instead, i think ill use todays post to rant about my problems :3 again. that is, if you dont mind, just some more thinking about it ya know?

For those that dont know, i dropped out of school, i could go on about why and stuff but i dont want to go through any of that today. my main reason, was because it just wasnt working. i tried my best, well actually thats a lie, i know i didnt. but i did try while keeping in mind all of my other problems. lets just say, family came first to me, when i never came first to any of them. but in my senior year i realized, that i couldnt do that anymore, i couldnt put myself through the agony and embarrassment, and the struggle of juggling it all.

I get many opinions about this of course, everyone in the end tells me that i need my high school diploma. but i dont need it. I guess by dropping out i took a harder road, but to me it isnt harder, to me it will be just as hard as before but on my own terms and time. I dont think anyone believes in me lol. sometimes, i wonder if im only falsely believing in myself. To be honest, im scared to death of the future. im scared to death of what i can, and cannot accomplish. i think most of all, im scared of letting myself down. i have one more shot ya know? what if i fail at this to?

The shot im thinking about, in case any of you are lost in this jumble of text, is getting my GED. which would give me a chance at something you know?

This takes time, and money. and it takes a whole lot more of me, because i have a lot of personal problems i need to get over to make it work. some of those problems, ive tried so long to overcome, theyre the demons of my mind really.

Sometimes, like now actually, i feel really weak.like im trying to climb stairs im not worthy of climbing. and other times, i feel so motivated that i know i can do this, that i know i have it in me. but i dont know whats stopping me from not doing anything.

the only thing that doesn't make me just give up and live with the life i have is the fact that i hate this life, that i have dreams and that i know if im stuck in this house, with these people for much longer i wont be able to get out. theres no way im going to be held down by them anymore.

now theres just the problem of getting past my own insecurities, and following that plan i set up. and stop ignoring my will to move forward in life.

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