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Friday, October 10, 2008


So.
I know, i should update more often but hey, i only do so when i feel i really need to just...get with myself lol. I hope someone reads this though :3 if not, at least i had fun writing.

WELL. last blog entry i think i mentioned a guy i was interested in, a guy that was 8 years older then me. well, after a long while of just...being friends and getting to know one another...we kind of....went on a date today. lol.

I don't know what to say about it, other then it was...nice. we just sat and talked. and had coffee. he is a trip and i love it. he is way more outgoing then me, way more talkative, he is a people-person and i am not. but i think...he said he liked me. and he did ask me to have dinner with him or at least hang out with him again.

Through everything i have been through and shared with this website....i have grown. i feel like i know a lot more about the world then most people do, i have seen what its like to have nothing and no one, and i know what it means to truly hate someone and have someone truly hate you. i guess you could say that i have probably experienced and grown from all of the bad things life has to offer.

and it is now, where i am at a time in my life where....i feel like hating life is pointless. I feel like i need to love it, and find things on this earth to love.

Love in general, is one thing i feel completely out of touch with. and i guess...im just trying to learn how to love someone. You would think its the simplest thing in the world, maybe it is..maybe i just need a chance. i really hope Ron is someone who gives me a chance. because even though i havent known him that long, he has opened my eyes to....a different way of living. and he makes me want to be infinity happy.

I am only 18...i dont know what on earth i can offer him, but i hope it is enough.




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