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Thursday, September 29, 2005


hey
*yawns* how are all of you? its about 2 in the morning and i just woke up. which isnt a good thing. i got out of school today at 12 pm and i was supposed to do my research paper, but i fell asleep, and i was so tired i didnt want to wake up.

i ditched today, dad found out >< got mad.. blah blah blah... everything was ok and i fell back asleep 0.o i hate you sleep, for you pull me in so easily.

i havent had anything to eat since dinner tuesday night... so im eating cold pizza my dad ordered today while i was asleep. ive got 5 hours still school, so when i wake up a little more, i better get crackin on that damn research paper thats due in the morning.

i also have an attendence review tommarrow. i think my dad should take the "first i was sick, then i was to deppressed to go back to school. and its still hard for now" why would i be deppressed? naturally since all the terrible things have been happening.. my sister is gone.. my ermm...uncle just died *cough* and just recently my cat disapeared and fall is closing in so fast *this is where i get teary eyes* im afraid she might die soon. everyone is pressuring me so hard,i just wanted to let go and not do anything anymore. But.. i know thats wrong, and from today on... i will go to class everyday *coughhackecceptforcomputergraphicshack*

im a pretty good liar.. so hopefully i can pull that off. maybe my dad shouldnt even attend << i can make it more dramatic without him there.

i know this is terrible, but there are just things i need to do to...er.. fill in the hole ive been talking about these past few days. it shouldnt have been dug in the first place, and i was an idiot, and im afraid to say...only major BSing will get me out of it, cause thats just the way life is.

on a better note, ive been reading! yey! i feel smart again! its been awhile since i actually read a book... which is terrible considering i love to read of course. anyway its called the golden compass. and i really want the alethiometer(i cant beleive i spelled that right..) its this amazing compass, it has like, 36 symbols on it, they all mean a lot of things and if you want to ask a question, you point the three needles to symbols that may relate to your questions, then you consintrate on the question, but not so hard, you have to be calm. and the other dial moves around from symbol to symbol, giving you an answer to your question. only kids can use it, actually.. maybe only one kid. but i wish i could.. its awesome.

er.. anyway the book is really interesting and im very horrified cause there is this orginization that kills children... that seems horrible right? well it will seem really horrible once you read it. cause they take away the childs daemon and eventually the child dies without its daemon.. ugh.. you must be so confused by that and all i can say is...read the book. theres 2 in the series, but i havent read the other one yet.

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