Friday, February 3, 2006

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Ok everyone, this week has been one of the worst weeks of my life starting with Wednesday being the worst day of my life!!! I sure hope you all come see this entry cause unless my mom comes on this weekend, I wont be able to get on till maybe Monday, if I go to school… First of all, it started Wednesday.. when I found out Brandon couldn’t transfer to my school.. but that is such a minor thing to think sucked compared to what happened next. me and my sister decided to walk down to my dads work. well, we saw this little pug dog I the street, I was going to call it over to me but was waiting for this old lady to pull her car out of the driveway. But suddenly, the dog goes after the car, and the old lady drives right over this poor dog. and KEEPS GOING. so I run to the little dog hat falls down, and suddenly stop dead in my tracks, as I see a puddle of blood forming.. I just sit there on my knees in the middle of the street staring at its lifeless body. the lady slows down prolly, after she realized my sister and I had seen what she did, she comes over and goes “It always does that to… oh man… what should I do” and first I wanted to “You stupid fat old lady you shouldn’t be driving obviously you cant see 2 fee in front of you. But im all “You should tell the owners, do you know where the dog lives?” she did, she went to tell them.. I heard some little girl start to cry… I started to cry…. I cant get the image of the doggy out of my head, I mean.. I just wish there was something I could have done…. I mean, it didn’t deserve to die… if I had done something it would be with that little girl that was crying.. it would be alive. and I knew the old lady was gonna hit it, I just felt it right before it happened, but I couldn’t seem to get myself to do anything…. That day we came home from the store, and my mom was gone. now some of you long time friends on here know that my mom had problems with drugs and stuff, and she would run away just to be with her druggy friends. my family has been dealing with this for about, 2 years now, she’s been in like, rehab maybe 5 times already, and in fact, she just got out of it last week. however, she’s been off drugs for maybe, 3 months… and went to rehab recently to cope with one of her friends dying. But anyway, when we came home, she was gone. She had packed a suite case, taken her makeup, taken her meds, and my dad found her wedding ring…. Now, I wish she wouldn’t come back, but as ive always known, my dad just cant live without her..he cant even be happy that he at least has me and my sister.. he just needs her.. he would rather die then be without her.. so.. I’m pretty sure that once she’s done screwing around for whatever reason… maybe she’s back on drugs… She’ll come back.. she always comes back… I just done understand it, everything was going great, we were all getting along.. and she just left for no reason. Now see, im not aloud to get on the internet until she comes home, because my dad feels that she can call us any second of the day. I’m at school right now, risking school suspension just to post all this… but I don’t care. I wish they would suspend me…I don’t want to be here, not right now. not ever.. But anyway, so life has really sucked since Wednesday, my dad has gone back into total depression, and he decided to quit his job.. RIGHT NOW. he is such an idiot.. we’re to poor for him to quit.. we cant afford for him to quite.. he says its cause he hates his job, but I mean… he doesn’t have enough money to find a job he likes, he should stick with what he has right now.. instead of jeopardizing his already broken families will to at least have shelter when it rains ya know? Oh man you guys.. I just with this hadn’t happened… I was hoping this would never happen again, I was just hoping that my mother would actually be fine now.. I was actually believing she wanted to be apart of this family.. it just hurts me to know that I let my guard down and she hurt once again… Well, I love you all.. and I hope I can get back on soon…

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