Sunday, June 4, 2006

Oy, I've been out for a while haven't I? Well, I've bee gone all weekend. Grandma's house. Movies. Some other places I don't remember. I can't remember anything nowadays -_-'. Well, on with the show! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Previously, Tikal was being attacked by psychopath, Amy Rose. Amy is a gun slinging lunatic looking for Sonic so she can do bad things to him. *Dun dun dunnnn* In this episode, will Knuckles, Sonic, and Lisha - though reluctantly - save Tikal and restore peace? Amy tightens her grip on her gun. She is shaking in both anger and fear. Tikal: Can't we talk about this, Amy? I mean, I'm just an innocent by stander in all of this. Can't you let me go? I'm sure Sonic is on his way here. Tikal backs into a nearby wall, her hands are up as if she were surrendering. Amy: Sure. I'll let you go. Tikal: Really? Amy: NO! Amy's ears twitch. She can hear Sonic coming. Amy: Get into that closet and don't make a sound! If you do, it'll be the last sound you make. She narrows her eyes threateningly. Tikal gives her an alarming look, but she climbs into the closet and closes the door without protest. A loud crash is heard. Amy immediately slaps her gun back into its holster that is secured on her leg and looks up to see Sonic, Lisha, and Knuckles surrounded in broken glass. Lisha: You know, Sonic, you could've just went through the front door. Now I have shattered glass on my clothes and - ow - my hair. Lisha picks pieces of glass out of her long brown and gold locks and chucks pieces at Sonic. Sonic: What the hell, Lisha? We're supposed to saving someone! Stop clowning! Lisha stops tossing glass at Sonic and shoots him an evil glare. Lisha: So now I'm a clown? You're a blue rodent! I don't even think that you're naturally blue. You use hair dye don't you?! I know you do! You smell like paint and conditioner. Knuckles:*Whispering* Calm down, Lisha. Amy is just standing there staring at us, I think we should ask her where Tikal is. Knuckles goes unheard by Lisha and Sonic. Sonic: You lie! No one as cool as me has to fake the funk. I'm blessed with this beautiful color and tone. It's clear to see that humans couldn't tell good hair if it strangled you around your necks! And this comes from someone who has brown and gold hair! Lisha: My hair has naturally gold highlights, okay? Sonic: Sure. And I'm the cookie monster. Knuckles: I like cookies. Sonic: I do too. You wanna go to Mrs. Fields and get a cookie cake after we finish off Amy? Knuckles: Totally! Amy: *Screams* Am I invisible to you people! Lisha: It seems that you are. I don't talk to air. I'm outta here. Lisha heads toward the door. Amy: Just where the hell are you going? Lisha spins around to reply. Lisha: Out. The. Door. Wow, you're a stupid bitch. Lisha starts laughing and continues to head toward the door. Amy whips out her gun. Amy: You're going nowhere. See you in hell, bitch. Amy fires the gun and everyone ducks, including Amy. Lisha: -_-' You might wanna check what kind of gun you have, Amy. Amy: Huh? Amy looks at her gun and sees a long stick poking out from the barrel and a flag attached to it that says, "Bang!". Amy drops the gun, curls into a ball and sobs. Sonic: What the hell happened? Knuckles: I knew she was weak. Knuckles goes over to the sobbing Amy, crouches down, and examines the gun. Knuckles: I'm-a pistol whip you bitch! Lisha: Enough of this nonsense. I wanna go home. Don't hit her with the gun. She might bite you or somethin'. Knuckles tosses the gun across the room, it crashes through the window, and makes a loud ping! noise. Sonic watches in astonishment. Sonic: Where the hell were you during Little League Baseball eight years ago?! Knuckles: Guarding the Emerald. Lisha: Sure. Get Tikal out of the closet so we can go home. Amy stops sobbing, rubs the tears from her eyes, and looks at Lisha. Amy: *Sniff* How did you - *hic* - know that Tik - *hic* - Tik - *hic* - Tik - *hic* - that bitch was in the closet? Lisha: *Sarcastically* I have X-Ray vision like Superman. Sonic & Knuckles: Like who? Amy: Really. Lisha: Naw, you tend to keep things in there. Right, Sonic? Sonic: Hey! I woke up in there and Amy was waving a gun at me, alright? I dunno how I got in there. Knuckles stifles a laugh. Knuckles: Whatever, dude. I'm finna get her. Knuckles walks over to the closet and opens it. His eyes widen at what he sees. Knuckles: She's asleep and her thumb is in her mouth! Man, I can't wait to tease her about this! Tikal: Don't you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, bitch! Knuckles: And she talks in her sleep! Tikal wakes up and blinks questioningly at Knuckles. Tikal practically jumps three feet in the air when she sees Amy. Tikal: Why isn't the devil vanquished? I'd like to leave here alive! Knuckles: Dude, you suck your thumb! Amy, Sonic, Lisha, & Tikal: -_-' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In Robotnik's Air Fortress, Rouge is talking dirty to a - uh - client. Rouge: *Purrs* What are you wearing. Man on Phone: I ain't got nothin' on. What you got on? Rouge: I got on some spandex black pants and a heart shaped, purple, strapless top. Man on Phone: Im-a rip those clothes off of you, cover you in chocolate syrup, lick you up and down, and stick my- Rouge slams the phone on it's base in disgust. Rouge: I can't do this. Robotnik isn't paying me enough. Or at all. A loud screeching noise is heard over the intercom. Dr. Robotnik: You have an incoming call, sex-slave - I mean - Rouge. Rouge: Damn right, I'm a sex-slave. Ugh. The phone makes a beeping noise and Rouge pushes the speaker button. Rouge: I will flip it, twerk it, work it, and jerk it for you. Rouge's Phone Sex Hotline, how may I pleasure you? Man#2 on Phone: *Grunts in pleasure* Oh yeah. You sound so sexy. Purr for me. Rouge wrinkles her brow in disgust. Sick bastards. How the hell do they GET this number? Rouge: *Purrs seductively* Where do you live? I'll come to you and do naughty things with you. I have a camera so we can have our own porn. Man#2: Ah yes! I live on- Rouge slams the phone down again. The intercom screeches again. Robotnik: You're hurting business Rouge! Keep them on for at least 10 mintues! They pay us ten dollars by the minute! Suckers. Rouge: Please, I can't take this anymore. This is day three of this bull. I rather be on the corner. No wait, scratch that. I wanna go home. Take me home. Robotnik: There's nothing there for you except that smelly hedgehog, whiny fox, that pink bimbo, weird human, ancient echidna, and that naive echidna. Why do you wanna go there? Rouge: If you take me home, I'll make their lives a living hell for you. Then you can come and get me. Robotnik: You're not wasting your time on them! You're better off with me - if not, you go without the Emerald. Rouge: Fine. Robotnik: Incoming sucker! Rouge: Wait! I don't wanna- A click over the intercom indicates that Robotnik has turned it off. Rouge: I haven't heard that click before. Eww...he was listening! What is he doing while I'm - ewww, I don't wanna think about it. The phone starts beeping. Rouge stares at the phone trying hard not to let the tears that are filling her eyes loose. Rouge: I gotta get outta here. Wait, did he say ancient echidna? What does that mean? ********************** Poor Rouge. Don't you feel sorry for her? This is what happens when you hook up with bad boys. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the story because I had fun making it! Did I surprise you at all during the story? Oh yeah, my hair IS naturally brown and gold. Somedays my hair is a golden orange, cool, huh? I find it insulting that people think I dye my hair. Grr...Having anime hair is a blessing ^_^.

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