Wednesday, November 10, 2004

   yet again
man do i suck at the english languange(like it wasn't obvoius with the way i write on here haha).
neways yeah. today was a over all good day. i had to do no work in my engeneering drawing class cuse i'm a beast in that and that's what i'm gonna do with my life so yeah i'm a beast. and then throughout the day i was soo tired, and yes that is because of swimming, oh man my abs and hip muscles hurt bad i have not used them i guess in a while. but anyways, back to me sucking at the english languange, it's kinda like this, when you want to do something but you can't and you know you can't and your ok with that because you understand why, and it is all good, but there is something you still don't understand it and you just say it with out thinking it through it comes out wrong. well that's kinda what happend i think. see, i was feeling like she was bein weird, not on purpose, but like thins were just fellin weird on my end, like i felt like i was loosing a friend and that was never my intention for my feelings. but so then i got that cleared up and said that right, and that was cool, glad we are still friends, cuse that is what is important in the long run. but then i made the stupidest mistake in the world. i asked her if i should move on, and she was like i thought i told you to a while ago. and i was like(in my mind), well ok things have changed kinda in the situation. and thin i just left for class. then when i'm in class a friend of mine, let's call him bob, and bob asked me what happened, and i told him what i told her and was mad cuse i said it wrong. and he told me that if i was trying to ask her out i did it too eairly and i didn't give her enough time. and this was when i figured out thati said things wrong, and officialy sucked at the english languange. cuse like that was not my intention. my intention for the disscussion that i had with her today was(and i should have said it like this) to 1. make sure that she knew that i was still her friend that she could talk to and no matter what happened or did not happen i would still be that, a friend. and 2. to see if she felt the same way about me, and i wasn't trying to ask so that i could ask her out soon, no. i was only asking to see if i had to put away my feelings for good, or did i have to pack them up and ignore them till she was ready and see what would happen then.
That was the whole point of my talk today and i hope she didn't take it the wrong way. but yeah all i was trying to do was to see if i had to get over her for good or not, as in if she liked me, but did not want to get into anything now, or if she didn't feel the same way and i just needed to chill for good.
but i fully understand either way. i understand that she like, JUST broke up with her boyfriend and all and there is stuff to work on there, and if she didn't like me that's cool too i can deal with rejection, but i just wanted to know that way i could do what i needed to do with my feelings.
so there that is all i hope i cleard it up for everyone, especially those people who told me that i didn't wait long enough to make a move, cuse that is not even what it was about.
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