Tuesday, August 4, 2009

   blehh
2:33am and i have to be awake come 7:30 to babysit.


fuck this sleep shit.
fuck these stupid dumb theories, and youre oks,
and these assumptions that everythings a-ok.


MyO has always been the one place i could always say whatever the fuck i wanted, so here i go.



I have Depression. It sucks, badly. I suffer from severe isolation problems, ive rarely left the house this entire summer, and i dont even speak with my sister and mother, though we live together.
Though i am half black, and naturally have a tan complexion, my body has taken to looking gray and sickly, pale for a girl with colour, and pale for ANYONE in summer in california.
my face looks sunken in sorta, my hands have a weird gray tint to them, its odd.

im sick, havent figured out what it is yet tho. My hands, feet, and face go numb a lot.

Oh yea and i have an eating disorder. i know its gonna get worse, but absolutely nothing anyone can or will say will make me change my mind. I shudder at the thought of hurting people like S, it makes me feel guilty, it reallly does, but not as guilty and disgusted with myself as i feel when i EAT.

i guess its because im a naturally OBSESSIVE person, and this sick obsession with consumption has begun to get to me. I can freely admit this, because... well i guess its because im smart. I am nearly always fully aware of everything i do, and this is the perfect example. But i cant stop, and i certainly dont plan on stopping for quite a while.
And i know, its not something u can just QUIT.
i dont care..



lidddol leelee is back to destructive ways, i really thought i was done with that shit tho.
ughh, and allll this BS is making my paranoia 100000x worse...
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Thursday, June 25, 2009

   hrrrmmmm
so...
about to start my senior year of high school.
and to think i was a lil ol 7th grader when i first joined TheO!!
crazy craaazyyy!!

uhh..right now i just..have no love life, for once haha. Im so..done. Tryna get over D. Its for the best. If its meant to be, it'll happen in our futures.


Tryna go to school in London within the next few years..
wish me luck!
watch the next time i update im already graduated n shit hahahaha
nahhh but idk we'll see.


<3leelee
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Saturday, January 17, 2009

   okayy
im gonna start moving tomorrow,
closer to malcolm.
wish me luck!!!!

hahahah LUCKK ;D







CRUSH SURVEY

is he muscular?
yes lol, but very skinny.
damn that boy is rippped..


sk8er or jock?
neither lol but he CAN skateboard



whats his hair color?
like black, drk brown.
he used to have like blond tips tho lol


does he have man boobs?
fuuuuck noo!!



how old is he?
16



does he flirt with you?
hes a hella big flirt, and a sweet talker



does he like you?
he did, idk if he still does,
we'll see..


whats his eye color?
brown lol,
just how i like em


how many siblings does he have?
uhm..3 bilogical



parents divored, never got married, married?
idk if they ever married but they arent together anymore, he has a stepdad tho



had he kissed you?
hahaha



would you ever make the first move to kiss him?
dur



does he stare at you?
yea thats our thing



does he talk to you?
dur



does he flirt with other girls?
mmmhmm haha thats just how he is he cant help it.



if he shot you what would you do to him if you were still living?
id probably shoot him back but we'd probably make up hahah


is he single?
yea



what grade is he in?
junior. at continuation school =P
hahah

black, white, mexican, indian, asian, etc?
half black, half samoan
and fiiine as fuck nigggga.



how many classes with you is he in with you?
none we attend 'different' schools haha



if the answer to number 20 is yes how many?
it woulda been 2 if he didnt go to NV =/


how long have you liked him?
since 31May2008



how did you meet him?
hes best friends with my older cousin lmao


how/why did you start liking him?
uhm i was at my cousins grad party, and i was still stuck on a guy, who had just graduated the day earlier, and THIS one was there, allll day n nite. after cousins other friends all left, he was still there, and he had this mask on n was sitting on the couch, i cud feel him staring but u know i cudnt really tell.
then me him ,mum, cousin, and aunt all just sat there n talked about random shit all nite and i texted my bffs like 'i think im in love with ******* *****'
few days later added him, messaged him sayin we shud be friends, he messaged back sayin lets be more, we both went to summer school, the rest is history
lmaooooooo
long ass answer.








k so..
i fuckin hate my dad.
hes such a bipolar fuckin asshole,
i cant even begin to explain.
im soooooo relieved that he might not be moving with us!!!!
you have no idea!!!
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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

hoy...zapatos hombre!!
lol.
uhhh..okay...
soo, me & Jay were walking to our first periods & we was talkin aboot something, i dnt even remember & i spot a certain lil short guy, Piccolo!
thats what im gon call him cuz that waht his friends used to call his cutiee self..
so i just keep talking but really im freakin out cuz i dnt want him to see me for an unsaid reason. so i start walking faster, tryna walk next to S cuz he hella tall anyway & i finally get around the corner nd jays cracking up & hes like "u didnt see him!!" nd i was like
'yea i did' nd he said "NO u didnt he was like craning his neck to look at you!!"


ohhhh wowww haha..
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Monday, October 8, 2007

Duele el amor
Ok. Im gonna go all gossip girl on you because its too risky to name names.
I ran into S after school while walking home & he just looked me over and smirked kinda before we passed each other. We didnt say anything. we always just look each othe rup & down. I dont even know if he has a GF...Y almost running into Jaylyn at brunch. We passed each other like 200 times as usual. And as i was walking to 3rd period, we snuck a look at each other from across the way, as usual. Whats with these ritual, sneaky smiles & looks we give each other??? hahaa...C hanging out with D alll day, looking ah-dorable. Its weird I JUST met him last nite lol!! D staring over at me allll dayy..i wouldnt be surprised if he forgot EVERYTHING that happened this weekedn, but surprisingly he remembers a lot of things i tell him, even when hes drunk or high...C in the halls looking sooooo gorgeous and soooo tall. on friday he was giving me looks again. hahhahaaaa.

okay so theres my guy report!
mainly I care about Y, so keep an eye out for any sightings or encounters i report of him!!
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