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• LilSluggaFFTL
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• clinically_xdead
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Birthday
• 1991-12-29
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Female
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• Californiaa<3
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• 2005-11-07
Occupation
• PreZ
Real Name
• Haileyy
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• drawing for Sonny Moore, establishing Dumbledore's Army at my high school
Anime Fan Since
• Pokemon!!
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• Pokemon,Chobits,FMA,Cowboy Bebop,Sailor Moon,Wolf's Rain,Case Closed,Urusei Yatsura!! Furi Kuri!!!!!!!!!
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• be a better artsist, move to L.A.
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• drawing, the D.A.
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• drawing, runnning things
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Tuesday, August 4, 2009
blehh
2:33am and i have to be awake come 7:30 to babysit.
fuck this sleep shit.
fuck these stupid dumb theories, and youre oks,
and these assumptions that everythings a-ok.
MyO has always been the one place i could always say whatever the fuck i wanted, so here i go.
I have Depression. It sucks, badly. I suffer from severe isolation problems, ive rarely left the house this entire summer, and i dont even speak with my sister and mother, though we live together.
Though i am half black, and naturally have a tan complexion, my body has taken to looking gray and sickly, pale for a girl with colour, and pale for ANYONE in summer in california.
my face looks sunken in sorta, my hands have a weird gray tint to them, its odd.
im sick, havent figured out what it is yet tho. My hands, feet, and face go numb a lot.
Oh yea and i have an eating disorder. i know its gonna get worse, but absolutely nothing anyone can or will say will make me change my mind. I shudder at the thought of hurting people like S, it makes me feel guilty, it reallly does, but not as guilty and disgusted with myself as i feel when i EAT.
i guess its because im a naturally OBSESSIVE person, and this sick obsession with consumption has begun to get to me. I can freely admit this, because... well i guess its because im smart. I am nearly always fully aware of everything i do, and this is the perfect example. But i cant stop, and i certainly dont plan on stopping for quite a while.
And i know, its not something u can just QUIT.
i dont care..
lidddol leelee is back to destructive ways, i really thought i was done with that shit tho.
ughh, and allll this BS is making my paranoia 100000x worse...
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