Thursday, June 1, 2006

   Yeah.
I need something to do right now so I am typing in this thing. How entertaining. I am listening to "Heaven's a lie" by Lacuna Coil right now. It's a very good song. I really need something t do. I have already started a new game of Final Fantasy X. Not to mention the fact thatI have a half beaten game of X-2 going as well. I don't know, I thnik I am going to wipe out my half beten X-2 account, beat X again and then beat X-2 again starting from scratch. I don't know. I should be getting Final Fantasy 8 within the next few weeks, I am hoping. But yeah, I am a dork and I know it.
Did I mention I was cuddling a teddy bear right now? 'Cuz I am. XD It's so soft and cute! It gives me a feeling of comfort. It makes me feel like evrything is going to be okay in the world.
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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

   Flark!
XD Fishie.
Duckie.
Haha, that's all.



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Tuesday, May 30, 2006

No emoticon for this.
I feel sick all of a sudden.. like..not sick, but strongly bothered. I was fine, but it felt as though a wave of negative energy has been washed over me. Talk about strange.
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Sunday, May 28, 2006

   New stuff.
Okay, so I redid my layout thingy. I think it looks good. I used this picture I found of Rinoa and Squall from FF8. It's really cute, and I thought it deserved a place. That's all really.
I thought I needed a change.
New picture coming shortly, I am very wierd about my pictures, I'm going to make it match. Sort of.
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Saturday, May 27, 2006

   Wow.
Okay, so it's Saturday once again. I just got home from the mall, and let's just say that it wqas very.....eventful. In the...negative way.
My brother went into a stage that I like to call, emo. He got made fun of by these people and of course, since I was there, I got made fun of too. Even though I didn't cause any part of the scene except for yelling at him a bit because he left me for like 20 minutes. Alone.
But it's over now, and for once my parents said I did the right thing by calling them to pick me up. o.0
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Friday, May 26, 2006

   Sad.
-sigh.- It's been two days since I last talked to Dylan. I hope he's alright. We usually message for a bit in the mornings, but I haven't seen him online for two days, and to tell you the truth I'm kind of worried. It's probably nothing...but I can never be sure. I just love him so much, and it scares me to think something bad might have happened to him.He said he would try to get ahold of me tomorrow, I really hope he can so I can make sure he's alright. Everything is reminding me of him. I really hope it's nothing. I love him and I don't know what I will do if I find out he was hurt or anything.

That's all for now, I needed to vent my sorrows.

~Rebecca xoxo
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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

   So yeah.
So, today was the last day of school. I thought last period was horrible, because Josh bothered me for two hours. I wanted to stop him... but I couldn't. Stupid teachers and stuff >.> After I got home, however, I realized it was going to be the last of.. well... what seems like alot of things. Alot of my friends I won't be able to see over the summer. Leaving the work is great and all too, but.. somehow I feel I will miss it. I don't know, this has never happened before, but I feel this void...deep inside me. It has been growing the past few days, and school ending is only part of it, really. I feel like I've been trying so hard at life.. and everything, and it is just.. not working.. falling apart. I know this dosen't make alot of sence, but it is how I feel. I feel as though I am being slowly taken apart.. piece by piece... I don't know how long this is supposed to last, I want it to stop. Now.
Well, let's look at some positive aspects of life right now. I am still going out with my beloved, Dylan. I love him, he is my everything. Seriously, if I hadn't met him when I did, I would probably be with some jerk.. because of low self-steem. But now that I have Dylan, everything is alright, you know? I have a higher level of self-esteem and I feel there is someone out there who cares about me and actually loves me. That is such a good feeling.
Another positive thing.. let's see...well...I have my friends. =) And I am so far doing a pretty good job of convincing my parents not to move to Kissimee. If I can swing it the way I want, we will be staying in Casselberry or Winter Park. <3
That's all for now, really.

-Rebecca XOXO
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Monday, May 22, 2006

   Gr.
I have a band sectional tonight. I don't really want to go, because I don't feel like doing anything. But, if I don't go, my section leader might call me and make me go. xD But at least I got to skip school today. xD
Go me!

Oh, and I keep changing my pic. I can't decide what I want to use for it... any ideas?

I love Dylan <33
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Saturday, May 20, 2006

   T_T
These past two days have been torture for me. Friday, a little bit of it is explained in the post below this one, and also because I felt really sick. Today, Saturday, I still feel really sick, and I found out that there are pretty high chances of me moving to Kissimmee(sp?). T_T I really don't want to go. I love it here. I actually have friends who accept me for who I am, and if I move I will have to leave all of that behind. I don't want to have to do that again. It hurts so much, even just to think about it. For the 6th time in my life, I will have to leave it all behind. I don't want to do it. I established some really close friendships, and I don't want those to be wasted. Even if I do have to move,(I will be fighting with all my strength against it) I will do my best to make sure these friendships live on. Hopefully, the bond of friendship will survive.
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Friday, May 19, 2006

   The whole story.
Okay, well some of you might be wondering why I have been kind of... out of it.. today. The reason for this is because for some reason today, I was really depressed. Not my normal depressed, but somewhat different... I can't exactly explain. Other than the depression, Josh has been making me mad. (Jennifer, if you are reading this you know what Josh I am talking about.) He came up to me today when I was sitting down hugging my knees to my chest, and he asked me why I was sitting like that. I mean, does it seriously matter how a person sits? I told him these exact words "Because I feel like it." =3. Then is what really made me mad. He went to hug me. I pushed him off of me and told him not to touch me. It's bad enough that he tries to hug me, but to try to hug me when I am off gaurd? That's going wayyyy to far. I am seriously going to tell him off. I am sick of being so god damn nice! This is it, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
Heh, wow, I'm wierd.
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