Sunday, September 30, 2007

  


Sorry for not posting in awhile... Been busy with school and other things.

I've really started to like this guy.. He's a friend on mine. It really sucks because I don't want to feel this way about him. I just think I do because of damned hormones.

Its really hard not to think about him and not wanting to cry. I hate it. I'm getting all vulnerable and weak for no apparent reason. Its so stupid!! *hits self* BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! Okay, that's enough of that.

I just hate it. I'm such an idiot.



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Friday, September 21, 2007

   I've been really bored lately. Nothing has really happened....

I'm failing Geometry honors. *sigh* I should have studied for the test. I only for a 47. Now I have a 57 in that class....
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Monday, September 17, 2007

  

Heh

Nothing really happened today...

Ashley
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Friday, September 14, 2007

Sad....

Happy...


I wonder which is my future...
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Thursday, September 13, 2007

   *sigh*




Since I haven't posted in awhile, I might ramble on about why I get so depressed.

I won't tell the whole story..

It started about the end of the sixth grade year and I was getting strong urges to cut slice my wrist. Not being able to do so, I did eraser burns but my mother yelled at me so I had to quit.

Around the summer before my eighth grade year, I began to cut my left arm. Only cutting my wrist a few times. My current 'boyfriend' at the time told me to stop. It took me nearly a year to quit. Around the same time, we broke up.

Of course, that did not help. I dove deeper into depression. At the beginning of my ninth grade year, I meet Sharee. She is now my best friend. I have plans to move to her town after I graduate and I want to become her legal guardian when I turn eighteen.

Today, I still do suffer from depression severely. I don't want anyone sympathy. That's not why I'm writing this. I'm doing it to help people realize the full extent of depression and how suicidal thoughts are very dangerous. Hell, I still am suicidal. I'm not ashamed of that. Last weekend I tore apart a razor and cut my left upper arm up.

I just have to live and be left alone.

Thanks for reading...

Ashley
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Monday, September 10, 2007

  

I found this cool Neji AMV.
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Sunday, September 9, 2007

   Lol...


I was looking up Neji pictures and thought I'd share this..

I'm doing a lot better than yesterday. Me no longer despressed!... Well I still am.. . Lol
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Saturday, September 8, 2007

  

I feel a little better. We're going to have pizza tonight...

yay! Pizza!
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I feel really depressed today...

Not going to go into much detail...
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