Thursday, May 18, 2006

Back to school
Well, today wasn't all that bad, I was really stiff in the morning tho. But I still walked to school. Well...it was more like limped pathetically, but hey, I got there and I only fell twice!!
I apparently missed a lot, one of my friends got together with another classmate but they were at odds today. Which is weird cuz I never ever saw them as a potential couple, I gotta read these people more thoughourly next time.
And Matt broke up with yet another girlfriend, well, she was a bitch anyway, but he was all sad and everything, and unusually nice.
Wow, I just had so much trouble spelling the word nice.
Yeah, well, my dad like spicked my drink ten minutes ago. I thought it was sprite, but he had mixed in some Corona (beer) and some crushed advil gell caps...and now I'm all like we-wo cuz it's starting to kick in.
I drew another picture at class...I hated the way it came out though, cuz I used markers and a bad pencil. .5mm is not my thing. So, i'll post it whenever. Cuz I've got loads of schoolwork to do that I missed during this whole...fiasco. Heh, heh.
Well, sweet dreams to you guys cuz I know that I'll never have any. Bye bye.
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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Guess who's baaaack?!?!
Yep, it's me, Lauren. Didja miss me? No, it's okay, ya shouldn't anyway.
Well, where should I start? Um...I kinda...changed, well, that's how my brother put it. I do know that I don't talk as much as before, though. I dunno, I guess I'm sick and tired of my father.
But I feel a little better,weak and dizzy, but better, even though I wasn't supposed to go home until Saturday morning...we couldn't pay so I couldn't stay.
Yeah, and it was my father who did it...but I can't tell anyone...he said he'd hurt me more often if I did.
And he's not going to jail because we have no proof that he did it, and he was already tried for murder, so by law of double jepordy...he cannot be tried and he's a free man.
I didn't go to school today though, I can't take a shower because of the stitches and the medicine makes me smell bad...like a dying person eating soap and listerine...and lemons.
I know, I'm weird.
And...well, I'd really like to know what he hit me with that night...I mean it didn't feel like a whip, although it made marks like one...but it was like..stabbing and then shredding. Well, whatever it was, it hurt like hell. It was so bad that I just wanted to die than live through all that again. But he also told me to keep quiet about everything...or else he'd start hurting my brother, but now I'm afraid to go to sleep. I've become the lightest sleeper...and it sucks.
And there's a crisis about grafiti down by the docks that I wanna look into also, but I really can't move, let alone rebel and do work.
And thank you to all those who commented and who were worried, it made me feel better. You guys are definetly my best friends. ^_^
I guess I'll be back to my normal self by Friday, cuz the doctor says I'm in "shock" and might develop some ADD. Well, ADD MY ASS. lol, I already have it!
Well, fuck, they're dumbasses. But it feels good not to be hooked to like 10 different machines at once.
Hn, my brother tried to get me to drink caffiene today cuz the doctor said I'll get some "strength" and all we have is Coca Cola...and I was like no way in hell am I drinking this! It hurt my friend! EDDDDDD!!! NOOOO! But my brother insisted...so I thew like the whole box out the window...it hit some Mexican guy on the foot. Then he yelled at me in Spanish...and took the Coke home with him. lol.
Well, I hate talking about myself...it's all like "blah, blah, blah, my needs". So how are you guys doing?
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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

   Sorry guys, but it's still Mike.
Well, today was pretty crappy, having to walk to school by myself.
But I got out early because we got a call saying that my sister woke up. So my mom and I went to go see her. And when we get there to her room we find that none other than my dad is standing over her, Lauren looking scared shitless. But when he saw us he left.
She didn't stay awake for very long, she was ghostly pale, and she wouldn't say anything to us. She weezed and coughed mostly, but nothing more. But we still talked to her, well, I did cuz my mom was just pissed off.
She looked greatful to those who commented yesterday, but just the faintest of smiles. Yeah, and Blackrose....something, i can't remember, but she does consider you as a friend, but all she did was nod. I hope she isn't a mute now or something.
Yeah, I know, my dad's an asshole. But my sister's home now. Yep, she's home. But she can't move or do anything, and we constantly have to change her bandages, and all she wants to do is sleep.
I think she'll be well enough to do some stuff tomorrow...like write to you guys instead of me, because I feel like I'm invading her personal life...not that I care, lol, hey, it's a lil brother's job to be as annoying as possible!
Well, my dad's home now...and he looks suspicious...so I'll go now and see what's gonna happen next. But I really think it's not fair, why does he always beat my sister and not me? I mean like, I don't want to get hit, but why always her? I guess I really am the favortie after all.....
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Monday, May 15, 2006

   It's Mike...dundundun....
Yeah, it'm me Mike, oh, yeah, if you don't remember, it's Lauren's brother. Or you can just call me the bearer of bad news, cuz that's what I mostly do.
Well, I guess I should start with last night. Uhm, well, my sister was being all weird and not talking, and she kept glancing in my father's direction and flinching. Then that night she had the worst nose bleed, so bad that you'd think it was broken or something. It took 3 hours to stop. Then she had said she was fine and just wanted to go back to sleep. So she did, and then she had the worst asthma attack I've ever seen. She had to stay up for another 3 hours fanning herself and taking puffs of her inhaler. When my mom and I were sure she would breathe by herself again we left her alone and let her sleep.
But then about 2 hours later (my, god, I know, wht else) we heard cries, and a shriek, then the sounds of someone running away. I went in to turn on the light and check....and what I found still remains in my mind. My sister chained to her bed, with whip lashes all over her body...and she was crying her heart out. Everything was bloody, the floor, the walls, the bed, the window, books, clothes, you name it. And all she said was, "I want to die" before she passed out as my mother was calling the hospital.
And the odd thing is...we can't mind our father. He was missing when this happened.
Well, Laur's at the hospital, yeah, the crappy one where they have no clue what the fuck they're doing, and I don't care about my language, even though I'm still young, cuz it's not fair.
And I know that my sister would normally tell you not to worry, and not to feel bad. So I'm gonna try not to.
The doctors say she's "stable" but she's lost a lot of blood, and is in a comatose state. But it's her words that shocked me most, "I want to die". It hurt to hear her say that. And I can't possibly understand how she feels about her life and what happens to her. But I hate just watching. Ya know? Or in your case...reading about it.
Well, I don't know which of us you'll get talk to next, hopefully my sister. So, Bye.
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Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day
Well, yeah, today is Sunday, the day dreaded by most, because that means the weekend is over and school starts again. Boy, I wish I could go back to Hershey for a while. lol.
Ano....I went to my grandma's house at Spring Lake. It's beautiful there. But my mom got so pissed of before we left because my dad and I burned her coffee. Is that possible? But it is very pretty down there, especially around this time of year.
Okay. Well. There's the good stuff. And you know...in my case...that there is always something bad that comes with the good. I listen to my CD player a lot, and my dad hates it. So he handcuffed me (where the hell did he get handcuffs?!!?) to a metal chair (and where'd he get that?!) and nailed the chair to the kitchen floor. And he burned my CD player on the stove, and made me sit there and watch as my precious melted. I was like NOOOOOOOOOOO!! BLU~!!!! (yeah, I name most of my possessions, thank you very much.) And there was still a CD in there.....I have no clue which one, but there was one in there.
Yeah! So...I have a math test Monday, I'm gonna hate it. I mean like, I'm good in math, but I just hate doing it. Especially with my ahou teacher, she does nothing but eat tuna out of a can the whole class. I mean, you get a lunch break!
Well, I finished watching all the Saikano episodes. They were cool! lmao. And I watched Howl's Moving Castle again. My dad hated that movie and the "little chinese people". Excuse me but they're Japanese! And we're Chinese. Even my senile grandma could figure that out. My dad slapped me. And it hurt like...yeah, well, not that bad, but enough to say oooooow. So my grandma hit him on the head with a pole. LMAO. And my dad was like "T-That d-didn't hurt t-that muuuch...." And then my grandma called him a "ohhaji" which roughly translates to "big shot" and hit him again. I was roaring!
So how are you guys?
Keep praying for "Lone Werewolf"'s safe recovery....or else!
Konbanwa!
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Saturday, May 13, 2006

   Funs Days and Good News
OMG, yesterday was so awsome. I had so much fun! And I went on my first upside down ride. I felt special.
And I went on a bunch of water rides, without a bathing suit, lol, it was sooo wet!
Oh, and it was so funny too, cuz I can't wear my glasses on rides, so I was sitting next to my friend, Bridget. And it seems like we were going up forever! So I lean over and asked, "Hey, Bridget? Where's the dro-AHHHHHHHHH!" Yeah, we had reached the big drop, lol. And it's so funny because I can't scream on rides because I'm an asthmatic and can't breathe when air is rushing towards me, so I squeak like a mouse. And everyone thinks it's oh-so-funny. But Matt called it cute...*shivers*
Yeah, so I just came back from the hospital, and they drugged me so bad, no seriously, they overdosed me. Never go to Bayonne Hospital. But they said that I got away with minor brain damage. So that's good! And they also said that my brain was so used to getting hit that I wont end up retarded! YAY!!
I'm sry, kagomealice, but I dunno where I got my avi. But I think I did a google search. And I know I already PMed you, lol. I'm just weird like this.
Well, I wanna go soak my feet cuz they hurt like hell from 8 hours of walking yesterday, lol. Ja!
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Thursday, May 11, 2006

Getting there
Well. Everything was how it was since last lunch period, yesterday. Until lunch period today. Allie came up to me and apologized, and told me it was all a joke. She wanted to see what I would do...how I would react. She told me that I was too nice for my own good.
And she kept rambling on and on, one of her famous speaches. Us two, standing in the schoolyard with a bunch of our classmates...and I started to tear...and I slapped her, in the face. And I called her "Ahou" which means something along the lines of "dumbass" but she has no clue wht I was saying. And she fell right on her butt, and I broke down crying. And I fell down on my knees telling her how sorry I was. And she gave me a big hug, and I have no clue how long we sat there, or how many times I said sorry, or how many times she said that i shouldn't be and that it was her fault, or how long I was crying on her shoulder...but now we're bff's again. And that's all that matters. It was like...I movie, but it was real and was happening to me and her. And I remember someone told me here, at theO, that I sounded a lot like Chise, from Saikano, and so I watched a couple of episodes and figured out that I do sound a lot like her, and I got hooked on the episodes, Imma watch them all. lol.
And, with that problem aside...I haveta go to the hospital again. My dad broke the water cooler machine last night, and he blamed it on me. Then he actually threw the water cooler machine AT ME. And it hit my head. I swear I'm just gonna turn out retarded one day and then they'll be sry. And my head was bleeding like crazy and I passed out. And I was expecting to wake up on a hospital bead...but I woke up on the floor where I had passed out, with makeshift bandages on my head. "We didn't feel like calling the ambulance," they said. OMG, I coulda bleed to death and they woulda been sitting on their asses saying "oh, she's okay!" Yeah, so I'm getting it checked Saturday.
I CANT WAIT TILL TOMORROW!!!! lmao *sudden mood swing* CLASS TRIP!! We're going to Hershey, but it's supposed to rain, so I'm going to pray to every God I know that it doesn't, because the park closes when it rains. And I'll be gone all day, so don't miss me too much!! lmao, just kidding.
Can I ask a question? How is killing yourself..."selfish"?
I dont get it myself, so plz shed some light. Well, I've got to get packing for tomorrow cuz my class is leaving really early to try and miss the morning traffic. C ya guys...Saturday afternoon I guess??
Byeas~!
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

   Alone Again
Well, yeah, today and last night...just plain sucked.
First of all, my family and I were eating dinner together for a change...which was weird, but then I had to go to the bathroom. And when I came back they were all laughing. I checked if I had toilet paper on my foot or anything, and that was a negative NO so I was like whatever. Then after dinner I can't remember what happened. But the next thing I know it's 5:30AM and I'm sitting on my front steps, chained to the railing with the worst headache in the world...then it dawned on my, while I was in the bathroom my dad spicked my drink! He was laughing his ass off.
That sucked. Majorly. I've still got the chills from staying out there all night. And I have welts in my wrists from the chains. (where the hell did he get those?!?)
And why did today suck? Well, you know how I wrote that poem for my bestest friend, Alison? Well, I guess you can guess wht's comming next. Yeah, she just...came up to me today and told me that she didn't want to be my friend anymore. And because she's not my friend anymore, none of her friends can be my friends...so it's a whole domino chain reaction...and now I have no friends.
And I don't know why...but I had to deal with it today. I mean like, I got so sad that I worked up a 105 fever. And well, no one cares. I sat in the back of the class dying...I couldn't even pay attention to what we were doing. my body was like working on auto drive, only doing necicary things, like turning the page when everyone else turned it.
I mean...didn't anything I've ever done with her matter? Didn't my poem matter? All those friendship braclets we forced eachother to wear? When we picked eachother up when we were down? All those times we laughed together?
Well, I guess not, cuz I'm alone again now. And I don't have a reason to wake up and do things in the morning. I mean, like, all of you guys are great...but you're not here with me. And you're not there to pass notes to me during class. So, I feel alone.
And I really don't want things to go back to how they USED to be. That was the worst.
....But, if I do the "bad thing" again, she wont be there anymore, right, to tell me that it'r wrong? So, I guess that's one plus, and I guess I can finally die without being missed, right? Right.
Well, enough about me, cuz I sound like a baby's who has lost its mother. How are you guys doing? I g2g, I still have a fever and it's killing me. Bye.
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Tuesday, May 9, 2006

   Days like these....
You know, it's days like these that I really wish I stayed dead.
I mean like, I happened to do really well in answering English questions, and people like hated me for it and wished that I stayed dead.
And don't even get me started on my mom. She's always calling me a bitch and useless *insert piture of roy mustang after riza calls him useless* and it's really getting to me.
OMG, and my dad...I thought he was gonna be nice today, he was all like "Let's go for a walk, 'kay, honey?" And I was like...sure. I mean, once in a lifetime oppritunity here. So wer were walking pretty far...and we get ot the train tracks and we just had to wal alongside them. It's like...tradition in Bayonne. And the train was commin to. And then my dad was like "Die, bitch, and leave us all alone!!" He pushed me, I fell really hard, and he ran like his ass was on fire in the other direction. And then I was like this is it, I twisted my ankle so i couldn't move and the train was not slowing down. I could hear a faint, "You're not gonna be missed!" in the backroom.
OMG, thankfully the engineer saw me just in time, and he put the brakes on and the train stoped 2 inches from my face. Seriously, I was so afraid I was histerical.
Yeah, I'm never trusting him again. NEVER.
So, yeah, I wish I had just stayed dead. Well, I wish no one saved me in 7th grade...to make it a longer time. BUT, no, she just HAD to save me. HAD TO.
So I've come to the comclusion that even God hates me. See? He didn't want me in heaven, so he just had to make me stay here.
*trying to be happier* So how are all you guys doing? Hm...well, after homework imma try and sign everyone's gb who commented me on my sasuke pic, cuz that really made me happy. lol. Yeah, I'm weird like that. The littlest things amuse and make me happy. ^_^
*happiness over* Well, I've got to get my homework done and avoid my father....wherever he is...probably watching one of the millions of Desperate Housewives he taped. lmao.
Well, I'm no better off than him, I've been listening to Dawson's Creek theme song over and over again. lol. And I haven't watched a single episode. And I've been listening to My Immortal by Evanesence. It fits my mood perfectly. Well....Ja!
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Monday, May 8, 2006

Monday...no duh
Well, it was back to school again for me, and boy did I miss a lot Friday. I have a frikin term paper due tomorrow. When was anybody gonna tell me that? Well, at least religion class from hell wasn't really from hell today.
Man, I was so busy today at school I to work through lunch...so now I'm mad hungry and my dad says "suffer, bitch!" I think he's lost his mind...
We decided 1 of our graduation songs today! lmao. It's Hero by Mariah Carrie (don't care if i spelt it wrong, i don't like her anyway). Well, it's a lovely song though. And I haveta sing a little solo in it because no one can hit the high note that I can hit in like the last verse....so yeah, I feel special. But I really wanna do Good Riddance by Green Day and Graduation Friends Forever by Vitamin C. We'll see next music class. But boy I hate the music teacher, lol, she's a midget! It's like that Professor for Harry Potter that teaches them "just swish and fliiiick!" "Windgardrium Leviosa!" lmfao.
Well, I better get started on my homework...and I haveta read this Sherlock Holmes story "The Adventure of the Speckled Band" it really doesn't sound interesting tho. But fiiiirst I gotta go freak out the Jehova Witness's (sp?) at my front door who've been ringing the doorbell for 25 minutes, and bug the Roto Rooter guys across the street.
Caio!
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