Monday, December 11, 2006

Egits on the phones
Well on friday i finished my 3 weeks of training and today i started live on the floor.
i was stuck in back office, which means i don't answer phones, i order the modems and routers and make sure they make it to the customer. Well it seems the contract doesn't go live until january so theres not much to do in back office. i have a huge cubitle which i share with 3 others and the walls are only elbow level so you can see over them. i have a flat screen monitor and sweet new Dell pc and a very cool keyborad but no mouse or chair. so i sat on the desk beside my pc most of the day. there was nothing for me to do all day.

after lunch i helped out in the techinal dept which is in the same big room, heres the call i got.

Me: Dell Techinal suport my name is ***** how can i help you?

Cus: Ah hallo ***** i got me a nice new computer but im not that good with pcs, i cant get it working, ya think ya can help.

Me: of course, what seems to be the problem?

Cus: right i have it here in front of me and i cant get it to turn on, i think the battery is ... well not working.

Me: Right then before we start troble shooting i need your customer number or product reference

Cus: sorry?

Me: on the drive some where there sould be a sticker with a barcode and number on it can you find it?

Cus: oh right its (ok so i can't mind it)

Me: (checks database for records and comfirms name of cus) Sorry what did you say the problem was again?

Cus: the battery isn't working, it wont power on

Me: My records show that you have purchased a (the pc he got) and im afaird thats a tower unit, only laptops have batterys (head in hands)

Cus: oh.... so....

Me: you recived a power lead with the rest of the leads?

Cus: aye should i connect it?

ME: (bangs head on desk) yes, this is your first computer isn't it?

Cus: aye, afaird so, right im gonna stick you on speaker phone for a min

Me: thats fine, now while you are at the back of the tower i would like you to check all leads at the back.

Cus: (checks leads) aye all there and in the right spots

Me:Right now what i'll like you to do is power it on

Cus: ummm...how?

Me: (momment of slince) there should be a bottom with a circle and a line through it.

Cus: ah right like the kettle (pushes bottom) umm... its making a noise but theres nothing on the screen.

Me: is the screen on? (getting annoyed)

Cus: oh right, (turns on screen while it powers on he makes conversation) so you speak very good english

Me: yeah (slightly confused)

Cus: they must have giving you lessons over there you can hardly hear you're indin accent

Me: im not indin sir

Cus: Really? well where you then?

Me: Ireland sir, is it on yet? (changes the subject quickly)

Cus: aye thanks for the help

Me: no problem, is there anything esle i can help you with? (please no please no please no, crossed fingers)

Cus: Aye now that you say it i could use a bit off help installing this here program i got, its for work so i kinda need it quick

Me: (SHIT!) No problem sir. (really wants to hang up) right insert the first disk,

Cus: it wont fit

Me: what? Push the button on the cd drive to make the drawer come out (gettin pissed off)

Cus: oh not this square thingie then? right i got it now

Me: no, can i put you on hold for a momment while i speak with a colluge for a second.

Cus: aye ok, this thing needs to load anyway.

Me: (pushes hold button, takes off head set and holds pillow onto face to muffle a long string of curses and loud AGHHHHHHH. the man was tring to force the cd into a floppy disk drive) Thank you for holding, is the first disk loaded yet?

Cus: aye, ive tried to put in the second disk but its saying that its still the first disk

Me: im sorry?

Cus: i put the next disk on top but it wont run it

Me: on top? (he didn't remove the first disk first)

Cus: oh hang on, heres me son he'll know what to do? (talks to son) he knows more about pcs than me

Me: can i speak with you son please, perhaps we can set it up quicker

son: hello (sounds around 15) sorry about this, my da doesnt know about pcs, i can sort this now

Me: are you able to finish the installation yourself?

son: yes, sorry about this bye

Me: thats no problem, thank you for calling dell techinal support (hangs up phone quick as possible got up and left the phones never to return, trust me to get an egit on the first call)

There are some idoits who don't deserve computers
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