Wednesday, December 20, 2006

long one da day
Well i haven't really had time to post at length for a while so im gonna tell you some of the funny/strange things from work some facts ive learned and throw in some pics i drew

In the course of my job i see the strangest names, for example Luke Warmn (pronuced warm), kenny mc cormack (the character from south park) but my fave so far has to be Philip P. Philips (god he must hate his mom and dad for that one) these are the real names of some of the customers here i cant belive that. but heres one better, in my job i sometimes have to call people back to sort things out here was my job description
"customer details must be changed due to marriage, call back required to confirm change"
so i call this person up and cuz im still techinally new i have someone beside me listening in to my calls.

Me: Hallo can i speak with miss Tina Mountain please (Mountian?)

Tina: Speaking

Me: This is ***** from vodafone at home i understand you requested we change your contact details

Tina: thats right

Me: ok then before we start can i ask your mobile number,

Tina: ok its *************

Me: thank you and your post code

Tina: *********

Me: last one now can you comfirm your pin code please (so i can be sure its the real customer)

Tina: *********8

Me: thank you, and can i ask the reason for your change of your details (is poked my call couch, whos trying to annoy me)

Tina: well i recently got married

Me: congradulations (Mouths F*** you to call couch and slaps hand) is there anything other than your name you wish to change?

Tina: no hes moved in with me so no need to change me adress or number

Me: Sounds nice, can i have your new name please?

Tina: Mrs Tina Hills

Me: (pause) sorry?

Tina: Hills, H. I. L. L .s

Me: so to clearafy your changing your name from mountain to hills? (call couch brusts into fits of laughter and LMD struggles to suppress histeric laugher)

Tina: silly i know, whats that noise? (refering to laughter in background)

Me: is just one of my colleges Tina, is there anything esle u wish to change or inquire about? (still trying not to laugh and pushes still laughin call couch away from mic)

Tina: ahh no i think thats everything

Me: thank you for useing vodafone at home (starts laughing) goodbye

Tina: (sees funny side and starts laughing too) bye

End of call
in office me and call couch are is stiches and can't stop laughing, i was almost sure this was a stitch up but it was a real customer


It turns out too that i have a nickname around the office too, Lukie, due to the almost consant presece of a bottle of lucozade next to my pc and because i have the lucozade bottle drawing as my background hmm how nice then again i do drink alot of the stuff it does border on addiction. but im not that far yet.

also ive learned few things about office life
1) at anyone time there is always someone singing, humming, tapping or whistleing a song or tune
2) the electronic door manages to hit or trap every third person to walk through it
3) there is always a nerf ball/disc being thrown about the tech department
4) there are only 3 different songs per day (refer to point 1)
5) the push/ pull signs on the door are not always correct or sometimes are missing all together
6) Chairs are an endangered species and tend to ‘migrate’ when you take your 15 min break
7) the on-floor toilets seem to have only one roll per day
8) the person sitting near or next to the vending machine will check the change slot throu out the day
9) said vending machine rarely gives out the correct product
10) only the ones wearing shirts and ties should the internet and solitare games be hidden from
11) to avoid someone simply put on your head set and look stressed, they will assume your on a call and leave
12) never return to an unattended item of food there tends to be some changes made to it (eg pepper added, sweets removed or missing altogether)
13) sleeping under the desk is frowned upon
14) there is always curses mouthed into the phones or the fingers given to the screen when dealing with stupid or angery customers

these apply to my office and there are many more but these are the more interesting points

heres one, under my desk is a small cabinat with three drawers, the top drawer was open but the bottom two where locked (obviousy it was ‘aquired’ from a pervious owner)
on my first day I managed to open the bottom drawer with a pin and a paper clip (yes I picked the lock) all that was in it was a broken head set and a polo wrapper. The second drawer however wasn’t that easy, due to mangled paper clip, I couldn’t pick the lock then so I got hold of another paper clip but the lock was too stiff so I left it. A few days ago it started to really annoy me, I could see something in the 2nd drawer every time I opened the top one, so after another attempt at picking it (it didn’t work) I got Alan to cough loudly while I broke the top drawer off its runners (by opening the top drawer and kneeing it underneath) to get access to the drawer and in it I found a bad drawing of a dalmation with “to mummy from Drew” written on it awwww how sweet, also in the drawer was a pillow…. Yes a pillow. What a weird person.
This coming from the lock picking vandal. Haha

Anyway at the top I promised pictures so here

I know the neck is messed up I couldn’t fix it
and


what ya think? Took me most of yesterday to do these 2

right bye people

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