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• LostDreamscapes
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Birthday
• 1991-01-11
Gender
• Female
Location
• San Antonio, Texas
Member Since
• 2005-03-27
Occupation
• Overly nice cynic
Real Name
• Elyssa

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• None really. Im not THAT special.
Anime Fan Since
• 1998
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• At the moment, Naruto
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• Being an accomplished chef/writer
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• Writing, jamming to music
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• Uh...ability to charm most people, and insult people. Thats it I think.




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myOtaku.com: LostnDelirious


Sunday, April 10, 2005

   Okay so its been awhile...XD
Eh...its Saturday night. Im writing poems and listening to music. And contemplating. A lot.

A few days ago I hooked up with my friend Moriah...who also happens to be the school slut. I seriously dont know why I said yes and I already want to break it off. Pointless of me I know...

I dont really get it anymore. Every time I get with someone at school, I just feel this huge emptiness. Like... I dont care what the outcome of the relationship is. I dont care if they cheat on me or if they dump me for no good reason. I cant find myself to care in the slightest as more than friends. I dont understand it. Ever since last year I either A) Like my S.O (significant other) for a little while then stop or B) Dont like my S.O at all and just said "yes" because I was bored or was in one of my: What the hell why not! moods. It might be what happened between me and my on again off again best friend/evil person/crush Devin. She was the only person I ever...I dunno. Felt like I was okay with. Barely touching her hand with mine made me shiver or blush. I dont even blush around my gf, and not when I was with my exes. She made me feel so many things and my S.Os couldnt even do that. I really loved her...I guess I still do. Maybe thats why I cant feel anything for any other people. We had a really rocky relationship (we never went out, but it was like we did lol). We got into so many fights...most of them verbal. One was a little physical, but not serious. Everyone thought she liked me back, though thats still a huuuge mystery lol...

Ah well, guess thats enough. Maybe later Ill delve into the angst ridden past that Elyssa and Devin.
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