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Saturday, July 2, 2005


update
my lifes been going fine.
ive been reading alot more now.
im just so frustrated.
kyle keeps comig back to me. and im so worried aobut jordan. and im having all these feeling over people who i should hate. who i should yell at. instead i lose my nerve, and just...uh..damn people. i cant help but want to believe in kyle, i do. i dont know why. i sohuldnt . i should really be killing him. but i wont. i cant. he jsut..he makes so many promises, and so many stories...and they are all just lies. just ways to hurt me. i hate him for it. i do.but i never let it out. i get so mac a myself. i take it out on myself later. and it hurts, trust me. thats how i got my bad habit. i blame him. all him. it was. uh damn kid.
jordan....uh. weve compared him to my sisters old b/f jeff. omg. i wonder....he tried to pay me and kioko to go away when he was dating my sister...the jerk! and he cheated on my sister...pretty much! the nerve. and he treated her horribly. god.
but i havent heard from jordan. im so worried. i dont knwo why. its that whole ''caring'' thing i guess.
my parents are drinving me up the walls. im focusing all my stress on working out, or cleaning or something. playing halo.
for now, im oign on my run. later
kchan

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