Thursday, December 28, 2006

Happy way too late to matter Christmas!!
Hey Everyone , sorry about not being here, but as you know i'm a very busy person these days. Just to update you all, i'm the coach of the Junior Varsity basketball team at my school. I'm the only girl to have ever coached basketball for our school, and i'm the youngest too. Ummm lets see..i have a car now...my job still sucks..school is dulling for me but i have an hour and a half of lunch time now..uuhhh..i don't get to see many varsity basketball games which sucks cause my boy friend(matt) and some of my best friends play..ummm..lol lets see..OH Brian(air force man) came to visit for thanksgiving and it was good to see him again. So enough about me, what did you guys get for Christmas? Anything>?
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Saturday, October 21, 2006

I dunno why i bother. i come back to moms for one weekend after such a long time, and dave(my step-dad) and mom are fighting already. thankfully i just got my lisence so went for a drive. I know it's been forever since i have been able to be on myO, and i warned you all that it would happen, and i'm sorry that i can't be here more often. i miss you all very much, and i don't blame you for not sticking around my site, all you would be doing is staring at the same site for nights on top of nights. i'm not all that interesting anyway..
i hope you all are doing awesome..

Loudmusic>gotta jet
Time>4:27pm

Happy Almost Halloween!

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Friday, July 21, 2006

well, i'm going home to dads tomorrow. it seems even though i'm at my moms, that i won't even get to spend much time with her anyway. my aunt and uncle are going to a wedding until midnight, and conviently i am here so i am babysitting for them..it sucks. Plus i have to get up early tomorrow and travel all the way from poughkeepsie to accord so i can go to work.

anyway, i'm just gonna say this now..i probably won't be posting for a while now, because i won't have access to a computer that will allow me on myO. so i hope you guys are doing great, even though i know many of you won't acctually be reading this. my popularity rate has shot down, not that i blame you all. i mean who wants to read the same post for so many months?
yea..that'll be me tomorrow when my alarm goes off and i have to get ready for work..
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Thursday, July 20, 2006

well lets see...lately okay like all summer almost, has been completely boring. i really don't have that much to do and as a result i'm getting lazier and lazier, and i have tons of time to think(which some of you know, is not good). I think about alot, home, friends, family, the upcoming school year(which i dread more than last year), sports..just things that often cross my mind.

I miss my best friend brian(he's in the airforce at tech school for those of you who don't know), he probably hates me though because i never call him or anything. i tried sending him a letter once, but it was too late, i guess by the time he would have gotten it he had already left basic. We text and email and stuff, and that helps both of us i think, but yea..i know tons of people miss him alot, but i don't know how much he knows that. his dog was recently feeling terrible and he called me and left me a message asking me to pray for his dog and i did, and so did a few other people, and amazingly his dog's situation improved over night! i was so happy for brian, he really loves his dog, and i dunno what would have happend if he hadn't improved over night. i know he's having some trouble with making friends there, because alot of the people there are just stupid, perverted, and lack moral values. so he really just hates the people there. i ask for prayer that he would find a solid Christian friend there.

VBS(vacation bible school) is starting soon and i'm singing again just like the last few years..man i wish they would put me somewhere different!

this upcoming school year is scaring me to death, there is going to be so much more drama than ever last year..i dunno how much i'll be able to take..

work is less busy during the summer, but i like working there, it's a nice past time, and not so nerve racking. i'm comftorable there, ya know?

lately i've been having nightmares again like i used to. i wake up in the middle of the night, knowing i had a nightmare, but not remembering a thing about it. it's really scary, i had these months ago, and it was the same thing, not knowing what it was about but waking up from the fear anyway. i read before i go to bed now so that i have something in my mind before i sleep, rather than going to sleep with a blank mind knowing i'll be waken up full of some kind of raw fear. it's scary..and i don't know where it comes from...but i know i fight for myself in them..but no matter what i end up waking myself up..

I will fight..

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i hate this soo much
i'm never at my moms anymore because of work so i never get to talk to you guys! it's not fair! i;m sooo sorry, i'll update you tomorrow..
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Saturday, May 20, 2006

Next
well, for those of you who want to know, Boston is very bustling. Lots and LOTS of people, and at MIT alot goes on. Very futuristic, cars, A.I.(artificial intelligence), biomechatronics, and topography. even art.

Danny and i are as far apart as ever, not that i can blame him. i knew this would happen, i don't know why i'm so hurt, i should have prepared for it. but i guess honestly, no one can really prepare for something like that. he even told my sister to ask me for a copy of a CD without telling me that he asked for it. he said to say, "From and old friend." even though i would know it was him, because not many people like the music i do. it was sad to know that he couldn't even do that. the hard thing to take is that, he thinks he doesn't even know me, and that he never did. i think he knew me better than i knew me at one point. but he started believing other people's lies, and so doubts entered his mind..that's something a person can't really stop..

Brian has been doing well in the airforce.

we had our annual school softball/kickball marathon fundaraiser today. the forcast said heavy rain, but we only had a few showers, that was such an answer to prayer. i take my SAT"s June, 3rd. and my regent's(english and global) at the end of this year.

Loudmusic>gotta jet
Time>11:37




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Hey
Sorry for not being around much. i have a job now, so rarely am i at my moms house, which is where i have access to my otaku site. anyway, to update you guys..

i went on a trip to boston to visit MIT, which was awesome. i went with six other friends, and 3 adults. it was such an awesome trip and i learned alot. if any of you really are curious as to what goes on there i'll fill you in. ^_^


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Friday, April 21, 2006

i'm hated every where i turn..i mean read the comment that danny just left me..i wasn't lieing to him when i said that..i meant every word..i hate myself..i might as well just deminish into nothing, it seems as though i'm on my way already...why stop it..

Fade away..just fade..away..
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Saturday, March 25, 2006

well..i'd like to start off this with an apology for not being here much. so i'm sorry.

i've been working alot lately, i have alot of school work to do and my friend asked me to be on our volleyball team. volleyball is new for my school( i go to a small christian school). people ask me all the time if i like my school, i love my school. people, however, who you think you know can really let you down.

recently danny and i broke up..it wasn't bad. i told him how i felt. i was upset though..i was crying..i didn't want to loose him, and it seems that now i'm losing him as a friend. that's what i was afraid of when i broke up with him, that it would affect our friendship. he's not who i thought he was...

my best friend brian left for the air-force a few days ago..i cried after he finally left. i didn't want to see him go. everyone talked about it all the time before hand, and i was saddened, but until it finally happend, the full realization hadn't hit me. i cried for a long time. i sent him an email before he left, and he wrote back. i wasn't brave enough to read it until last night, however. i cried the rest of the night after i read it, i miss him so much...i want the address so badly so i can write him..

school has been less emotionally draining. the only person who i'm really schocked by is the guy i thought i knew the best in this world..i guess i was wrong..which makes me really upset to think about..

as for being busy..i had my first volleyball practice yesterday, i'm so dead. my arms are killing me. today danny,ryan, and joel came at the end, and as soon as they walked in i started tanking it. i was doing so badly after they got there. before then i was doing much better. we found out two things today, my sister(who is also on the team), my friend Leah, and myself are the best overhand servers. oh yea, we can nail that ball like no tomorrow. it's awesome.

i gotta go get some sleep, i have ALOT of homework to do.

i have eyes so empty, and a heart so very broken..
Loudmusic>gotta jet
Time>12:14am
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Sunday, February 26, 2006

   my last post for a week or so
hey guys. i know no one's visiting my site lately, and i don't blame you. but anyway i'll say good-bye for a little bit.

the varstiy guys had their tournament yesterday, they lost. it was a pretty good game though, unfortunately the ball just wouldn't go in. the gap between the rim and the backboard was much larger than anything the guys were used to and the center box was lower than it was supposed to be. so any time they went for the nothin but net shot, rarely did it go in. only for a few of our really good shooters.

by the way, someone has had it out for me lately at school. rumour up rumour is piling up on me. danny's mom keeps telling danny all this gossip she hears about me in school, so i'm not all the thrilled lately. if it wasn't for my friends matt, tina, and brian.w right now i'd be a huge puddle of depression. and the worst part of it all, is alot of the people who are supposedly my friends, are continuoulsy spreading and not stopping the rumours going around. what kind of friends do that? worst of all though is that my friends not only spread but believe the rumours. i'm really sick of this, my dad got mad at a few of the school staff members recently because he found out it was a few teachers who were spreading the lies. i've not had a very good month.

i really need prayer you guys. and again i'm sorry for not posting much anymore, but i'll try to keep it as updated as i can.

Loudmusicrocks> gotta jet
Time> 5:24pm
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