Saturday, October 8, 2005

"but the pages are all torn and frayed.." - My Chemical Romance
lets see..i dunno..today was..not as good as it could have been..i listened to my music most of the time..and debated if i should buy my friends mini-ipod..he'd sell it to me for $80..and that's a good deal..i might have someone look it over for me..

umm..i stayed up really late last night..but when i finally did go to sleep..i slept like the dead to be honest..no dreams..just peace..which is unusual..i rarely sleep through the whole night these days..it was nice..

i haven't been too..joyful lately..i have had no reason to be..i think my last soccer game cause me to let loose alot of my anger..so i took out a few people..keith said that one guys looked confused as to why he was on the gound..i dunno it felt good to play well..but i only played well because of the anger i let loose..i could have really hurt someone now that i think about it..

i found this quote today..i like it..>
"You know the very existance of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I really want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'"

it's dark and raining..my two most favorite things about the world..i'm gonna go take a walk in it..


i think i'll post this pic after every post for a bit..i like it..i'l change it to something else someday and do the same thing..

Loudmusic>gotta jet
Time>11:50pm

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Friday, October 7, 2005

"vanity's got a new gun that she wants to try on you.." - Dead Poetic
today my stepmother got us(me and my sisters) up at 6:15am! i was like..ahahaha no way..so i got up, closed our bedroom door(my sister sam and i share a room) and locked it so when brenda asked at 6:45 if we were up were were just like yea..sure..and i just slept there until my alarm went off at 7:05am..so AND i could barley stand this morning because of yesterdays soccer game..i was so tired..

oh and remember how today was a work day..well we had global class then we went down to the chapel so we could do the work day..and then we went back up for a class..then me phil shawn and kat went back down and worked for a really long time..gardening..and landscaping..and at one point a few others came down to help us out and kat left and so did shawn..and i was still there..then the 3 guys who came to help left and so did randy(myranda) and so i watched the little kids randy was watching, at one point i was holding two babies, one in each arm and thankfully parker and brian showed up, but parker was making fun of me saying stuff like "yea that takes skill" but anyway..parker and brian relieved me of babysitting fora few minutes whiel i went up to school to get my stuff together..otherwise my books adnb cell-phone would have been locked in the trailor for our 3 days weekend..yikes..then i came back down..brian ditched parker saying "you have experiance with kids i have experiance with working." it was funny..eventually i went back in to help parker out and brian kept coming in and out..eventually the two youngest babies fell asleep and i went outside to help with more gardening..and i got lots of dirt on my new jeans and mulch on everything..my hands were red..and brian said "kate have you been burying dead bodies again" (obvioulsy he was kidding) and i said "no that was yesterday"..so i had a fun time i guess...but i'm SO PASSED TIRED..like really really could fall asleep on the keyboard tired..oh you think i'm kidding...::wack!:: ZZZZzzzzz...

wha..oh..sorry about that..well anyway..i haven't gotten much sleep lately at all..i have this nagging feeling that something bad is going to happen..i don't know what it is..plus the fact the brian is leaving is bothering me too..i'm going to miss him so much..

danny has been coming to the games and stuff..i think he's trying harder to be around..i don't think he wants to be one of those grad's who you never see again..and he at first felt he was becoming that..but i think he's more determined now so i'm happy about that..

i really want a pinapple..lol i dunno why..
Loudmusic>gotta jet
Time>11:11pm



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Thursday, October 6, 2005

"i walk this empty street" - Green Day
today we had a soccer game..against one of our biggest rivals..they're so evil..they jump up in the air and come craching down ontop of you! FREAKEN OUCH!!so anyway..we won! and that was so awesome!

brian and danny were there grace too and it's always the best feeling seeing them all together..i wish they hadn't graduated..

tomorrow we have a work day at school so i get to dress down(meaning wear jeans n stuff)..

i'm tired..i have to do my math..
Loudmusic>gotta jet
Time>10:09pm






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Monday, October 3, 2005

"in the end it doesn't even matter" -Linkin Park
today started out weird, i got up late as usual, and when i got to school i was half asleep..about 20 minutes after i got there brian showed up, he told me he was coming because he was chopping wood with mr.davis but i thought he would sleep in, silly me lol.

school was boring but it went kinda fast. i had a game today against upton lake..we were doing well..it was 3-4 them..then they got one offsides goal and two cheap ones that shouldn't have counted. the last standing scored was 6-3 them...but i hurt my back pretty bad(pulled a muscle) and my knee is killing me..so i might be done for this season..pray that i'm not..

danny and brian both went to the game today, that was nice seeing them both. i miss them terribly..i didn't get home till really late because the davis's were taking me home and one of their cows(they live on a farm) jumped the fence, so everyone(except me and my lovely injuries) had to go help, and so i got to finish watching one of the final fantasy movies on brian's laptop, yay! i was so excited.

Loudmusic>gotta jet
Time>10:04
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Saturday, October 1, 2005

"I wanna run away, enevr say goodbye.." -Linkin Park
well lets see..on friday we moved the dividing wall about 3 feet back in the trailor(my classroom)that was interesting enough..at least i got to have some fun..(power tools yay! ^_^ )

friday was not the best day for me at all..in fact it was probably my worst day of all so far..i came close to tears at one point..later on when dad came to pick me up we decided to go to the jv soccer game..dad said brian told him that if we were gonna go to pick him up cause he wanted to too..so we did..i was still upset from the day so i was really quiet the ride up..and brian fell alseep in the back seat..

i wanted to sleep in this morning but i had to get up..okay well it wasn't early or anything, it was around 11ish but i would have slept later but i was going to the mall with my sister sam her friend tina and danny and brian..i was hoping we'd have a good time..

on the ride up tina and sam laughed alot i laughed a few times and played games on tina's cellphone, each of the girls wore their hair down for some reason so it was flying everywhere since we were blasting awesome music with the windows down..so we who sat in the back(sam tina and i) were all blinded by flailing hair..

at the mall, well that could have been better, i wanted to not end up with just sam and tina, but unfortunatly we split up ::sigh:: and i had to go with sammy and tina because i was told to keep and eye on them by our parents..nice right..i didn't even get to do what i wanted..i hate shopping..but hey i guess it depends on your company..

the ride home was less fun, but hey, a perfect day just doesn't exist in my world..its started out bad and ended that way too..it's okay though i was glad to hang out with danny and brian for a little while..

i'm really..i dunno..my mood is off..so i think i'm gonna play my guitar and wait for Inuyasha to come on..
Loudmusic>gotta jet
Time>10:47pm






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Thursday, September 29, 2005

" wake me up when septemeber ends.." - Green Day
today was better. i got alot of sleep but as usual i did NOT want to get out of bed this morning..i'm not a morning person..i mean i suppose i can be if i want to..but who wants to immediatly get up from underneath warm covers right away? not me.

so anyway i got to school and it was steadily getting dark, and colder and well wetter outside..i love rain and darkness..so i was happy with that part..but the annoying thing was the my soccer game was cancelled because of it..and guess what about 10 minutes after they cancelled it was all bright n shiney out! blast!it was so not right..then i was asking our coach if she could un-cancel it..but she said no because one of our drivers went to work after he found out we had no game.. -_- ...

i went to awana last night ( it's a Christian youth group thing for kids preschool-6th grade)..i help austin with singing and stuff..which was fun..danny showed up and gave me my super late birthday present..i like it lots ^_^ there's this shirt that says "i'm with the band" and he got me a black n red bag..hehe..i wish brian had gone to awana though cause grace was there and it would have been nice for all four of us to have been there together..

man do i miss them all terribly..no one to understand my sarcasm and shoot back witty comments..::sigh:: it's not fair..i have the best friends in the world..and they don't go to school with me still..so i don't see them much..

watching CSI..
Loudmusic>gotta jet
Time>9:02pm
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Wednesday, September 28, 2005

"cause everyday is the worst day ever.." - Simple Plan
well lets see..first off, i'm sorry for not posting much..i'm gonna try to get around to some of your sites too..

school has been horrible..i hate it..i'm not being overly dramatic..i just have no reason to like it to tell you the truth..

i've been doing alot of singing lately..i sing in chapel, at awana(both at sparks and the older kids), and maybe even some sundays mornings..so i'm busy with that..

i had a math test today, i like math and genrally i do well in it, so i hope i did well today..

a few days ago i had a fight with danny..i won't go into details..lets just say he was a jerk..but he regrets it and we're doing better now..

the time when brian leaves is getting closer..it's really weighing heavely on me..i'm going to miss him so much..i fight tears everytime i think about him not being around..i try to avoid dwelling on it..i will spend time with him before he leaves..i know i'll cry when he goes..and probably for a long while after..

my ex from way back has been talking to me all of a sudden..talk about a blast from the past..he wants to call me on my cell..but my sisters on it..plu si dunno what to say to him..it was 7th or 8th grade when i went out with him..

i'm so busy lately..i barely have time for any of my friends..it's not fair to them or to me..and it's not like i get a break cause the weekends are crazy too..it's always like this in the fall..just seems to be like times 10 this year..
Loudmusic>gotta jet
Time>10:06pm



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Saturday, September 17, 2005

"..time is a valuable thing..watch it fly by.."-Linkin Park
i'm currently at my moms house..we're watching "Laws of Attraction", i've seen parts of it before but not the whole thing, it's pretty funny.

well on thursday we had our first soccer game, it was awesome! i had so much fun..however, the air was thick because it was on the verge of rain the whole time, so my asthma was killing me..so i was doubled over a few times during the game so i could try and breath..but my knee didn't hurt much at all during the game..see i have the knee cap bruised right now because during one of our practices my friend austin took me down..with no thought that it was only a practice and he shouldn't injure his own teammate! but anyway..it's purple and green and all sorts of other colors right now..i know i know..but hey i had a plan to play soccer and it worked! you know how volleyball players wear knee pads so then came come down on their knee's and it doesn't hurt...weeeelll i came up with the idea of putting one of those over my knee brace..and guess what! it worked!! hehe!! yay!

and guess what else..(i know you're sick of hearing that lol)..my friend Renee(my best friend brian's sister) had her baby that day too! i'm so happy for her and parker(her husband) this is their second child and her name is Colleen Daniel..7lbs 8oz. and 20inches. Renee is in pain though because she had to have a c-section..and she didn't want to have a c-section so i feel bad for her in that sense..

i haven't really talked to danny in forever, i have no idea about school, and lately i've been finding out everything about his life from his mother..and frankly that sucks..but whatever..

theresa has been really busy with work and school..and she won't get to see her boyfriend for a long while so i feel terrible for her..she's so busy..all the time..

grace is doing well in college..i'm not shocked though i knew she would.she see's her boyfriend all the time, church, sometimes school..and often times my soccer games and practices..her boyfriend lives right next to our soccer friend and our school so it's easy for him to show at the team's activities..

brian is leaving for the air force soon..and i'm dreading the day even more as time passes..i know i'm gonna cry..probably for days at a time..i'll write him letters all the time..i'm already missing him thinking about it..he stopped by my house yesterday and gave me of the the Inuyasha movies! yay! however he cut it kind of close because i was leaving in about 5 minutes for my mom's house when he showed..but i'm all excited that i have the movie hehe

school still bites..but i'm doing well..and i'm closer to matty and phil than i ever have been..even myranda has been opening up a little..

my only solace from my own mind right now is soccer..
Loudmusic>gotta jet
Time>10:45am
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Friday, September 9, 2005

.."I'm just a kid"-Simple Plan
hey guys..it's the weekend and two days ago i started school..well i must say..once it started..it felt like it had never acctually ended to have summer break..that sucked..
how was everyone elses first day?

also my 3 best friends won't be there..brian, grace, and danny graduated last year so i miss them terribley..TERRIBLEY!!!soccer is kind of hard for me right now..i'm really working hard to build up my knee fast so i can run like i used to..it's proving to be a hard thing to do..

our classroom is very cramped right now..this may sound odd to you guy with huge schools..but we have 21 soon to be 22 kids cramped in a small room..a trailor acctually..so it's really hard to see through the ocean of heads..so yea that's a pain..

and these girls came back who made a huge deal of leaving..and they are sooo nasty to everyone..to be honest i'm surprised they haven't been expelled..they're not your normal evil populars..no they aren't popular at all..they're just evil..maybe they're poplular for that..i also feel bad for not wanting them to come back..i'm nto someone who likes leaving people out..and in this case i have to..because not only was i told to by some in a higher authority..but because i'm always in the office because of lies on top of lies on top of lies that come from you guessed it..them..okay enough of that..

randy(myranda),kyrstina and michelle have become decent friends..they giggle alot..kind of weird..i want them to see Christ through me..so i'm trying to be a good example..i don't know if Michelle is a Christian so i hope that she learns that Christ is the only way to heaven and you don't have to work to be saved by Him..

new student monday i think..
Loudmusic>gotta jet
Time>11:29pm


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Tuesday, September 6, 2005

"She Walked Away"
-Barlow Girl-

She couldn't take one more day
Home was more her prison now
Independence called out
She had to get it

A fight was all she needed
To give her reason
She slammed the door with no goodbye
And that it was time

Now she's driving too fast
She didn't care to glance behind
And through her tears she laughed
It's time to kiss the past goodbye

I'm finally on my own
Don't try to tell me no
There's so much more for me
Just watch what I will be

She walked away
Couldn't say why she was leaving
She walked away
She left all she had believed in
She walked away

Not a day goes by
For the one she's left behind
They're always asking why
And thoughts of her consume their mind

God please let her know
The love we tried to show
We'd promise anything
If you'd just bring her home

Tell her we love her
Tell her she's wanted
One more thing God
Tell her please come home
Please come home

The choice is yours alone now
Tell me how this story ends
___________________________________

that's how i'm feeling right now..not too good..i'm really confused..and i hate myself a little..
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