Saturday, March 11, 2006

So, I woke up this morning crying. It's pretty pathetic. I hate crying. But I did it this morning.

I don't know how, but then it elevated to me thinking, that no one appreciates me. No one ever says: 'Good job!' or 'Keep up the good work!' Or anything like that.

I cleaned half the morning today. & no one says a thing. Not even a: 'Thanks for cleaning up this morning.' & my mom's asking me: 'Why are you mad?' Well, I woke up this morning crying. Went down, saw the whole house was a mess. No one cleaned up the table, swept, washed the dishes, or did the laundry. While you guys were taking your 'after-breakfast-nap', I ended up doing all the chores. & you come downstairs & ask, 'Why are you mad?' not even a: 'Thanks for cleaning.'Hmm, why am I mad? I don't know.

I could say that, but then she'd get mad at me saying that.

Sometimes I wish that I could leave this house & never come back again. Like, forget about everything & just leave.

...damn, I wish I could do that. Gad fucking tears.
Comments (4) | Permalink

Tuesday, March 7, 2006

Oh, my lovely love doves. What shall I ever do? I have a friend, let's call him The Terrible. Anyways, today at lunch we had a stupid fire drill, [which was the one time to ever do one] & after that I saw my friend Terrible walking by himself, so I went over & walked with him. He seemed pretty sad by the way he looked. He told me that he'd been crying for 3 periods for no apparent reason. I feel so bad, made me wanna lke cry too. I wanted to give him a hug, but he refused. [I don't see why anyone would want to refuse a hug. Let alone my hug. Just kidding] Anyways. I want to do something for him. I wanna like, make him be all happy & more happy, ya know? I don't really like it when any of my friends are sad or anything.

In Spanish, my friend [let's name her] Sweetie, told me that he was bulimic. Last year, Terrible kept on complaining about how he was fat & stuff. That's totally not true, for a guy they should be kinda big, ya know? There's no shame. He was 150lbs last year, that's not so bad for a guy. I mean, Sammas is like, what, 160lbs? & he's hella skinny. Now, Terrible's down to 100 or so lbs. I wanna do something to help him out, but I'm afraid he'll push aside & take it as pity.

I mean, I do kinda guess, it is pity, but with every friend I've had, I've shared feelings with them, ya know what I mean? I just don't want him to like be all, hurting. Ya know? Like, I don't want him to die or anything.

...so, for everyone who has read this far down. Big hugs to you. & thanks for reading.
Comments (6) | Permalink

Saturday, March 4, 2006

Heard em Say by Kanye West

Hello, darlings!

Sorry I haven't been updating as much as I should have. Shame on self! Monthly pains aren't fun either.

Anyways, everything is fine with my Sammas problem. I'm over it & everything is back to 'normal'. Whatever that is. We have our constant bickering & picking on each other back on track.

Unlike last month, which was filled with, 'OMG, Sammas I hate you.' & other unspoken words. So anyway, loves. It's all fine & dandy. Though, I do think that the girl that likes him hates me. I think it's because I hang out with Sammas a lot. I had a feeling one night that she was going to 'bring me down'. As in, make everyone hate me. I don't know. I should watch out, though. She scares me.

Aside from that, we're have a baby shower today. My uncle & his girlfriend are having a baby. Oh my. Anyways. It's today at five. What a day to have it. Darned cramps. & my job is to keep the little kiddies from going upstairs. Who knows how many little people are going to be here! [Speaking of little people, we had kindergarteners come to our school yesterday. How cute little people. I think it was for Reading Across America or whatever. Anyways.] Yea. Maybe I should just lock all the doors & leave them alone. Or, better yet. Lock myself in the bathroom & just listen to my iPod. [That's what my friend did, she locked herself in the bathroom after writing her parents a letter about her grades. Funny.]Anyways. I hope it'll be fine & not too boring.

Oh, dear. It seems I've typed too much.

I hope you've all had a wonderful day.
Comments (2) | Permalink

Saturday, February 18, 2006

A Tear by Spongecola

I feel horrible, but I have an excuse. Somehow, yesterday I got a little cold & now I have a sore throat. Though, it's not as bad as it was in the morning.

Maybe, it'll be worse as the weekend goes by, then I won't have to go to school & look at Sammas!

Or not. It's been a while since I've gotten a cold, so I don't know how long this one will take.

I should just leave Sammas alone, now. The love just burned down. I don't know. I think I have mixed signals or whatever. It's like, I want to keep the 'love' there. It's just that it's a lost cause & probably won't ever ignite ever again.

I still have that hope though. Whenever my friends take him in secret to say something to him, it always keeps my hopes up because they always look at him then to me. But I should just give it up. Someone else likes him & he likes her back, so I'm told. So. I should just leave it alone. Nothing's ever gonna happen anyways.

---

So, anyways loves. How was your day?
Comments (8) | Permalink

Thursday, February 16, 2006

fixing a broken heart

Giving up on Sammas.

Just wasn't meant for. Now, I'm all emo.

Damn.
Comments (2) | Permalink

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Amazed by Lonestar

Weird dream last night, loves. I dreamt of kisses. First one was with Lida-kun. It was kinky & well, rough. The 2nd one was with Sammas. That was romantic, the ones that make you go 'aww'. It was pretty, well. Hmm.

Still sorting out feelings.
Comments (3) | Permalink