Monday, October 11, 2004

   rain is beautiful!
hello folks!
sorry it's been so long. not much more has happened. i convinced amy to go with me to a really sucky play--of course, i thought it was gonna be good at the time.

it's raining here and it's soooo pretty.
i had a scare when i turned on the computer--i thought it had one of those viruses taht like totally screws up your hardrive forever more, but i was wrong thank the Maker!

the morning glories and moonflowers are going to town! i can't even describe how beautiful they are.

it's amazing how the whole world's so much better, and yet so much more terrifying when you're in love......

i'd type more but my head hurts.....
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Thursday, September 30, 2004

   TASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I"M SOOO EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!editing perfectly good pictures to my sadistic gleee!!!!!!!
*manical laughter*


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Friday, September 24, 2004

   well life manages to thrill me yet again....[sarcasm]
yeah so i'm in the music library, bored off my ass. mr. organ teacher called and said he'd need to reschedule my lesson 1 hour later than it usually is, and this means i have from 10:00 to 3:30 to try to fill time up here at the university. i practiced the piano for an hour, had voice for .5 hour, and practiced for it for another.5 hour. if i start practicing the organ too early, my fingers, arms, and shoulders will hurt too much to get through the high-stress lesson. my fingers don't hurt as much as they used to after practice, and neither does my arms since i've been following his particular method, but my back and shoulders still hurt, and a great deal too. i wonder why. i blame the bench--it's too hard, and is hard on my spine. i'm also tense during lessons, and so thus the shoulder problems, because i'm trying to sit up straight(er). i slouch too much. but it still dosen't explain why my shoulder hurt during practice; i should be calm and relaxed since he isnt there.

oh well whatever
*slaps self for whining*

*sigh* sometimes i hate my dreams. not because they are so awful, but becaues waking up is so painful. realizing that it was all a dream and didn't actually happen. last night's, i was glad it didn't happen, but a couple of nights ago,*sigh**shakes head* do you ever have romantic dreams about someone from school who really didn't mean anything to you--like you talked to them, but never felt anything towards them--and suddenly it gets very akward trying to deal with them in a normal way? like there's this one guy, and he's a sweet, nice guy. not much to look at, but hey, neither am i. and i've had at least 3 romantic dreams about him, and it's getting kinda hard to stay normal around him, because i'll see him walking down the hall, and i just expect him to come running over and give me a big hug, put his arm around me, and ask me how my day was. the last dream was so vivid, and so affected my sub-conscious. *twiches* i woke up, still smiling, feeling like that awful lonliness is gone, and then i realized that i had woken up, and therefore that evening at the movies we'd shared was probably a dream. to give you an idea of the sub-conscious level i'm talking about, during the night in some other dream i must have dreamed that my seriously sucky voice had gone away and been replaced with the beautiful, rich singing voice i'd always wanted. i didn't even remember that i'd had a dream like this. i only realized when i was at church later that morning, and opened my mouth to sing. my normal sucky voice came out. and i felt so shocked, and then realized that i must have dreamed my voice was better. i felt kinda like ariel in the little mermaid, except smashing a sea-shell wouldn't give me back my voice.

oh i should just shut up!
have a lovely day!
~the Lady Eowyn
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   wow i really should update this more often.......
i just got back inside from a late-night trek to the garden to see if any more melons are ready. (in case anyone's wondering, there really is a lot more to my life than my garden, it's just significantly more depressing and so i'd rather not contemplate it.) i had to take a flashlight with me. 1. it's dark. duh. 2. our backyard looks like Shelobs's lair--there's all these random big ass spiders making huge webs all over the place. so i check my melons by flashlight--it was the Blair Witch Project, melon-style. LOL

oh yeah!
my moonfloweres are blooming!!!!!!! it's a random vine, like the mornging glories, with these gigantic white blossoms that open at dusk and close at dawn. i have pictures; i'll post them as soon as i have more time.

so does anyone remember the german organist dude? well he came into town and i did pick him up in my crapy car, but it was significantly better because we replaced the head liner the day before. *does a little rejoicing dance* he was a sweetie. some big organists think they're like, the shit, but he was a real human being, adn very shy. i couldn't think of a thing to talk to him about; i was so nervous i missed a turn! the college is on 21st street, and i ended up turning off at 37th. i was nearly late to class. and i also had to/got to pick him up for the recital itself. i nearly got to pageturn for him and change his stops, but my organ teacher decided he needed someone who knew the organ better. *sniff* i've only touched it twice in my life--but is that my fault, you popmus anal control-freak!?!?!?!?!??!!?!??!?!??!?! you could be actually teaching me, and then i'd know!!!!!!!!!!*calms down after the pschotic episode* i feel like adam sandler in Anger Management; i'm the quiet kind who just snaps adn goes postal one day; i nearly lost it at a lesson this one time. it would have been so funny to watch. i almost yelled back at him! cant you believe it? me! HA!i did actually answer him, instead of taking it and shutting up.

anyway, hope you all have a alovely day!
Random Jones Soda quote of the day: "Call an old friend."
so i did!

like my random crapy paint program art?


Blue! Your eyes are the Blue of insanity! You make
a lot of friends easily, and you're very
carefree and easy going. Watch yourself,
though, because responsibility is still a big
deal. That doesn't mean you have to stop your
flower obsession, however.


What Color Are Your Anime Eyes?
brought to you by Quizilla

i'm also half gold: "Gold! You have golden eyes. You tend to be quite distant, and may come off as depressed. In truth, you are, but once people get to know you, a smile or a laugh breaks through your emotion barrier every now and then!"

allison, you're awesome: "We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me. "

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Tuesday, September 14, 2004

   utterlyfantabulous melon enduced ecstacy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my melons are ripe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they're soooooo yummy! i drizzeled honey all over them. it was sooo good. so i decided to share pictures of them with of you. prepare youself for dazzlement:
(of course this was before i ate them...)

the three ripe ones


the Creepy Albino Melon of DOOM....


he's still just growing *talks baby talk to little baby melon*


and here's my random russian olive. maybe you can see the 2 red berries. i'ts such a pretty tree, even if it is wild.


and here's my morning glories! i love the blue ones best!


pretty buds. they look kinda like unicorn horns, at least to me.


deep purple.


pinkie! and my hand!


the roses are even prettier in real life.

the sunset was so beautiful tonight, witht the white egrets flying in and out of it. the wind was perfect, so was teh temperature, and i had to go to a choir rehersal and stay inside!
oh well.

hope everyone's days were as fun as mine!

random jones' soda bottle under-the-cap-saying of the day:
"your life will be full of true friendships."
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Friday, September 10, 2004

   Schubert, adult diapers, and an organ virtuoso out of Germany (and not in that particular order)
so i'm typing to inform ya'all of a little incident that occured last night.i hope you find it very amusing, because it was rather painful at the time.

some of you may know that my grandma had a stroke like, 4 years ago, and she's paralyzed, and mom and my aunt have been caring for her ever since. so she's almost entirely paralyzed, and also loosing her mind. so now you know the facts. and now i must broach the very delicate, adn usually unpleasant subject of adult diapers. because it's utterly necessary. we usually keep the packs of 20 stocked up at grandma's, (3-4 changes a day means a lot of diapers), but my aunt was sick and felt too crummy to go out and buy any. so after dinner yesterday mom was changing grandma and realized that they're out of diapers. so this necessitated dad and i (we couldn't let him go alone because he dosen't seem to be able to pick out the kind grandma needs, and mom could instruct me on which to get) to make a run to the local drugstore. we're in a big rush, contemplating what...er....um...i'll leave it to your imagination, but let's just say, "inconviences" could result if we were too late coming back. so we hit the door of the drugstore at almost a run, and i speedwalk down the main aisle, looking for the sign that would indicate this was the Aisle OF Diapers *said in a big scary voice* and i see this teenaged guy wearing a Jack t-shirt (from Nighmare before Christmas) and i kind a begin to feel a little silly because i'm speedwaling up and down all these aisles, looking for the right one, and i keep running into him. i finally find the aisle, am able to identify the correct diaper make and model, grab a pack, and realize that dad is nowhere in sight. i then try to walk around the store to locate him, carrying this big diaper box/bag/package with me. i'm trying to hold it to the side, so it is'nt so blatantly obvious what the thing is, but it's kinda hard to hide. it's so big, i can just barely hold onto it: 2' by 1.5' by .5' (yes i mean ' [ft.] not ") so i'm struggling with this giant adult diaper package and guess who i run into? the guy! he just kinda looked at me, and kept walking. *shudders* i don't think i have any personal dignity left at this point, i've been utterly humilaited in my life far too often. so i finally run into dad, coming out of the bathroom. hey, ya gotta go ya gotta go, eh? *shakes head* he said something like "oh, i hope i wasn't in here too long" *smacks forehead* i was a good daughter and responded "oh no not reallly" instead of what i was thinking. we paid for the diapers and left. *gags*

in utterly unrelated news i had an odd request made of me by my psyco organ teacher. he was 10 min. late to my last lesson, and then he had to leave in the middle of it and go make a few telephone calls. *shakes head* then he came back and asked me what my schedule was like for a couple of weeks from now, real cryptically. i'll just cut to the point and explain, adn not go through all the convoluted questions and answers he took to get there. we have a really kick-ass pipe organ up here on campus, and each year there's a series of recitals by top artists that he cooridinates. this year all the artists are international competition winners. this first one is from Germany. he's comming into town for the recital on the 21st sometime the week before it, and will be staying at the airport hilton. my psycho organ teacher would like me to give him rides whenever he needs it, from the hotel to up on campus to practice. i'm supposed to leave campus after my first class is done at 9:20, drive 30 min across town, pick the dude up and drive 30 min. back to get to class at 10:30. yeah. i don't care if he's this hot shot who won the big international $35,000 organ contest 5 years ago when he was 20. he can call a cab for all i care! but my teacher did that creepy-looking-in-the-eyes thing and said it'd be a personal favor and he'd be indebted to me and i couldn't refuse because i knew the concequences: him being even grumpier. *grrrr* my only major concern (other than inconvience, other than being late to class, other than gas prices, etc.) is the general ugliness of my car. mr. fancypantsorgandude will probably just look at it and feel the need for a tetnus shot and a lint brush. i brought this up to my teacher, but he said, "oh it dosnet matter. he just needs a ride," and totally dismissed all of my objections. but of course, as i've said, i have no personal dignity left.

in totally unrelated happy news, i'm getting to play an impromptu by my fav hottie, Schubert. [imprompu=something he just improvised at a dinner party one evening, for fun, and his buddies wrote down as he played it.] *sighs over the virtuosity*

duo showed me a few episodes of DNAngel adn i LOVE it !!!!!!!!! hiwatarii (spelling?????) is SOOO HOTT!!!!!!!!! and so is Daisuke, and so is Dark, and so is everyone else!!!!!(well, except for the 2 girls. and his mom. and his grandpa. adn, well yeah not everyone. *shakes head* *twiches* never mind.)

well, it's another disgustingly sunny day and i have to go eat lunch by myself in a corner, near some abstract statue.
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Wednesday, September 8, 2004

   eowyn=ditz!
does anyone have a condition i like to call LHDD--Long Hair Day Ditsy-ness? whenever i wear my hair down, i end up doing some seriously stupid stuff, that i'm normally more together and would never do.
so like this morning i woke up, stumbled into the bathroom and started combing my hair. i usually wear it in a ponytail, or up in some other manner, but for some reason my hair parted itself at the side, neatly and perfectly, of its own volition. and so i'm thinking, cool, ok i'll go with that. if ya wanna look all long and pretty i'll let you. (i do what my hair tells me. it's like doing what your rice krispies tell you, but seldom do they ask for the same thing.) so my hair's all like down and long and fluffy. onetime some random people convinced me to measure it, and it's 2 feet from root to tip. whatever. as if anyone cares.
so i like am going to class, and thinking, ok. back to school. monday. so i go to monday's class. yeah. i usually don't do anything quite that stupid, considering how late i could have been. (artemis, don't say anything!) i'm blaming it on the hair. so then i have to run across campus in like 5 minutes. then i did something else stupid, and i've forgotten what it was already. it's nice how efficient my system of memory repression is.

LOL today i found out something kinda creepy today. i found a framed, autographed 8x10 picture of the wife of the author of the organ studies book my creepy organ teacher drills me out of, hanging on the wall of the practice room. yeah. that's why he likes that method so much. apparently the term "studies" has a double entendre, if ya know what i mean. *has bad mental image* *screams* *plucks out mental eye* "OUT VILE JELLY!!!!!"*quotes shakespere* *goes back to normal*
yeah
well,
anywhoo...

i had a painful moment today as i was walking down this hall and i realized that stuff on the other end was getting a little out of focus. *sigh* not new glasses again!!!! *sniff* the eye doc said my eyes would continue to get worse "as long as i continued in academia" (so i suppose since i'm a nerd you could call me an academia-nut?), but i didn't think they'd get noticibly worse so fast. i just got these glasses in mid summer. *cries*



Oh yeah. and you know it!

Guys just love...how intellectual you are!


What Do Guys Love About You? (with pics :3)
brought to you by Quizilla

i just wanna say hi to mimi zu and fledglingvamp who i've just added as buddies. sorry it was so tardy, since you added me as a buddy a while ago.

random phrase of the day:
"crap on a stick"
because, hey, better on a stick than in your hand.

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Monday, September 6, 2004

*CRIES*
I hate it when my computer kicks me off as i'm typing something important.

*cries*
i'm so lonely......
i'd type more, but it's so late my eyes are getting bleary and i can't see straight.


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Thursday, September 2, 2004

   yeah. hi.
and i'd like to thank any one of ya who actually bothers to read my rather loquitious *slaps self* (big l word="wordy") posts....
i've had several wierd dreams lately i wanted to share.
the first was 2 nights ago. in it i was outside at my grandmother's house. the moon was shininig so bright it was like a flood lamp or stage lights. everything glowed from it. there are a lot of pine trees in the area, and all the needles shimmered. (it was really pretty.) i can't remember why, but i started flying. i often have dreams where i'm flying, but it's always in the same way, and this was soo different. (usually when i can fly, it's always like the same thing. i'm walking along, and then just kick the ground with my foot and i'm off in the air. i kinda go up fast, and then kinda bounce off the ceiling. i'm always inside some building when i can fly; it's never outside but for once when i was really young. recently i realized that the whole flying process is like when you swim to the bottom of the pool, and then kick off with your foot and float back to the surface. just like in my dream, you have to exert effort(swim) to get back under the surface, like i have to try to almost swim/fly back down from the ceiling in my dreams. wierd.) but this dream wasn't like any of that. it was graceful flying, in big arcs, like in Hero and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. i did like a couple of backflips and landed, sitting, on a treebranch. i had like a cape/cloak and fluttery clothes, like they have in Hero (if any of ya'all have seen it). i could do all this acrobatic stuff and i like SOOOOO kicked ass. and then i woke up.....

ok dream #2
i was holding a big party for all these people whom i knew. but i really don't even like these people. then the cops come and say, is there a "_______ [Duck] at your party?" (_____=name of person [Duck]=his nickname, to let those of you who'd know who i'm talking about ) and i try to tell them taht i'm not sure who's all here and they say that he's wanted on murder charges. but the way they said it, it sounds like he's being framed, and so for some reason [Duck not nice to me in real life] i decide to try to help him by saying that i'll go see if he's at the party. i'd find him and warn him to leave, adn then go tell the bad cops that he wasn't there. so i'm runnign all around this huge place looking for him. i open this one door, and fall into this gigantic pipe organ. and i'm wandering through it trying to find my way out. i wonder through the Swell box and out into the unenclosed Great (for those of you who that means anything to). I look down and It’s being played by Matt, this dude who I had a crush on in gradeschool. He was an organist too—infact that’s why I got into organ was because I liked him. ‘course that’s not why I’m still here; he dumped me a long time ago for one of my friends, and then turned into a creepy stalker. *giggles at his insanity* anywhoo... so he's playing the organ. all through gradeschool, i was always playing 2nd fiddle, as it were, to him. he was the one everyone was impressed with and complemented, and it was always like "Here's Matt. he's an excellant organist. oh yeah. and here's [insert my name which you don't know]. she's also an up and comming organist." what really ticked me off was that he was so good because he got the most experience. he accompanied all the choirs. but if he ever got sick, I was expected to fill in for him and got crap since i wasn't as good. of course i wasnt'; he'd been in piano since 3rd grade; i started in 5th! and this makes me sound kinda whiny, but hey, i;m trying to rationalize this dream. so anyway, i'm crawling down this oran while he's plaing it. i'm having to step on these wood slats,and it's making the pipes sound as i step on them. (this is a tracker organ. for those of you who that dosne't mean anything to, let me explain. normally, pushing down on the key sends an electric signal up a wire which removes a stopper from the bottom of teh pipe which causes the pressurized air in the box to flow in and make the pipe sound. in a tracker, pusing a key down moves slats of wood which physically moves the stopper away: like the mechanical action of an upright piano if any of you have ever seen it) so i'm puting extra notes in this piece he's playing. matt is always known for his utterly flawless, perfect playing. you'll never hear a wrong note, even if he's faking it. (but that was one thing i had over him: he played every note perfectly that was on the score, but i could actually play with Experession; i loved what i played, he just played.) anyway, i knew in my dream taht once i got down he'd yell at me for messing up his piece. so i finally was able to crawl and climb down out of the organ and i go over to appoligize for ruining his piece with the extra notes i hit on accident. he just cocks his head to the side adn stares at me. and then he says something to the affect of that there's no way he could yell at me, because he wasn't upset. any note extra that i could possibly think to add was utterly insignificant compared with his masterpiece. it could not mar "the perfectness of my perfect piece" to paraphrase Sauron on One Ring to Rule them All 2 . yeah
then i woke up.
yesterday i ate lunch under a tree and watched this really huge ass spider eat a bug. i thought of shelob.
what do ya'all think of this quote?
"Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." --h.L. Mencken
i think i'ts fricken hilarous.
and kinda like homicidal, but like polite british 1800s style....
anywhooo...
peace out.
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Monday, August 30, 2004

   subject? ya mean i have to have a subject?
so on friday (and yes i know i'm not cool because i don't post everyday) i stay up at school and practice the organ for 2 hours straight. a human being should never be alone in a room with an instrument for that long solid. i ended up talking to myself and making jokes about the names of the organ stops (stop=name of type of pipe). i look over and flip one, reading its name. "ah Hautbois 8'" (pronounced "hot boys") "a lady organist's favorite stop!" yeah. even i wanted to slap myself for that.

so then i think i'm gonna be all cool and go get something to eat with the university's money. (i got this huge ass scholarship, and so the university set up something where the extra money is accessable from this card-thingy so i can go buy books. anywhoo, i wanna go buy a lunch inthe cafeteria. but they won't take the money, so i have to pay for this crapy burito myself, which is ok. and i sit down to eat it, i look up and see this guy 2 tables over. he's skinny and dorky, wearing a blue shirt. his hair is black, and in an attempt to look more manly he's growing sideburns. and then i see him do that characteristic shoulder roll and twitch. i gasp because i realize who it is! it's the creepy stalker violinist from my school! he's legendary in my book of life experieinces for drawing naked pictures of the english teacher, asking my friend to have his baby and stalking her and leaving presents at her locker on holidays, and for being a very good friend of my ex boyfriend. yeah. my ex insisted that he was a good person and that anything bad i heard about him was just a rumor and wasn't true. so i'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt, and i ask you, the reader, to do so too. let's just assume he's a kinda creepy dork, and not a future serial killer, ok? i'll call this fellow Mr. X, because that's how he once asked to be addressed. yeah. anyway, so i realize it's Mr. X and so i decide to cut my losses, pick up my stuff, and run. frotunately for me he hadn't seen me, or else i knew he was gonna ask me to come sit with him. i grab my stuff and my crappy burito, and speed walk to the other side of the cafeteria. i think i'm home free, and have only about 1 in. of my burito left when guess who comes and sits with me? Mr. X!!!!! he tells me how he lost his wallet in his girlfriend's car. (yes folks, he is fairly lucky in the dating world because of a crucial flaw among women: we're compassionate. seeing his squirreliness makes women/girls who don't know him feel sorry for him because he's such an nincompoop and it's awfully apparent he'll never find a girlfriend as long as he lives, so they feel sorry for him, and being desperate themselves, decide to date him. *gags on own vomitt*) yeah. i pulled the classic pull-out-your-watch-and-regardless-of-the-time-say-"OMG!-I-gotta-go!" trick. it was the first time i'd ever done so, and i must say i pulled it off excellantly.

then i went shoe shopping. men, what do you do when you're profoundly depressed and can't feel better by shoe shopping because it's culturaly inacceptable?i broke the promise i had made to myself long ago to never buy another pair of sneakers after i was emancipated from them when i got out of the younger grade's dress-codes. but they were so cute and on sale too!

today, that's sunday, i went up to church and practiced from 5:30 to 8:00. i felt sorry for the workmen who were there installing the new organ who had to hear the incesant finger drills that my evil organ teacher assigned *shakes fist at organ teacher* someday! *cackles evilly* someday i'll snap and then just you watch yourself! i'll be in every shadow, pacing your pudgy-old-man steps!
*laughs at self* listening to myself threaten someone is like watching a kitten try to knock a table over with its head. and just as sadistically amusing. i'll never stand up for myself; it's against my nature. did i just type that out-loud?......

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