Friday, July 2, 2004

   pain & humiliation
ok today is just not my day. so it was all fine until i go bike riding with my friend. for the sake of anonymity let's call her "the cow". she's a really nice girl but she's like really athletic, like skinny, pretty, and a cross country runner. i am tall, but chubby and i don't excercize much. fortunately for me "the cow" always has mercy and rides slow, but that still dosen't save me humilation most of the time. i am not very skilled at handling my bike. i only know how to swich gears because once i moved the handle on accident. (i thought my bike was breaking as i heard the chain make wierd noises as it latched onto a new gear.)anywhoo, so everytime we go up a hill and i'm in low gear and can't fix it fast enough i go up as if i'm pedaling through a vat of molasses and totally humilate myself by nearly falling off. my bike itself deserves some attention. it is old. a garage-sale gem.it's banna yellow and has the word *SCHWIN* written up the side complete with those little stars advertisers are putting on c*** right now to make it look "retro"--except that this isn't retro, but how it was made to begin with! yes folks it's that old. and the tires, they're so old and nearly broken they're probably original to the bike. and although i am not a short person the bike is tall enough that my toes just barely touch the ground--making it very awakward to stop or start or do virtually anything. and another thing:the breaks squeal so loud they can be heard from the next block. stopping is utterly humiliating! but inspite of all of it i like bike riding. so we're out riding and i look down and realize the back tire is totally flat. we're a ways from home so i decide to just try to ride it so she dosent' have to walk it too. bad move. i have less control of it now, and we're trying to ride next to each other on a slightly narrow sidewalk. couple that with the fact that i'm a total spaz and you have this incident: my front tire slips off the sidewalk, jerks the handles out of my hands, and i go flying from the bike to the pavement, the banna-yellow-so-old-it's-retro-bike-of-doom falling on top of me. i skin my knee, but only mildly, bruise my leg, and severly bruise my hands. yeah. they're gonna be all pretty and blue as i play a church service tomorrow. woohooo! and then to add insult to injury i fall on my ass in the shower. life is wonderful.

"Oh that this too sulllied flesh would melt, thaw, and resolve itself into a dew, or that the Everlasting had not fixed His cannon 'gainst self-slaughter" God, i love Hamlet!!!!!!!!!!

"And who would fardels bear, when a man could his quietus make with a bare bodkin?"--Hamlet
[approximate english translation: "Why would any of us put up with the petty burdens of life when we could make our release from debt and suffering with a bare blade (thrust into the heart)."]
anywooo, that's enough shakespere for today. hope you had fun.
bye ~(^_^)~
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