Friday, September 24, 2004

   well life manages to thrill me yet again....[sarcasm]
yeah so i'm in the music library, bored off my ass. mr. organ teacher called and said he'd need to reschedule my lesson 1 hour later than it usually is, and this means i have from 10:00 to 3:30 to try to fill time up here at the university. i practiced the piano for an hour, had voice for .5 hour, and practiced for it for another.5 hour. if i start practicing the organ too early, my fingers, arms, and shoulders will hurt too much to get through the high-stress lesson. my fingers don't hurt as much as they used to after practice, and neither does my arms since i've been following his particular method, but my back and shoulders still hurt, and a great deal too. i wonder why. i blame the bench--it's too hard, and is hard on my spine. i'm also tense during lessons, and so thus the shoulder problems, because i'm trying to sit up straight(er). i slouch too much. but it still dosen't explain why my shoulder hurt during practice; i should be calm and relaxed since he isnt there.

oh well whatever
*slaps self for whining*

*sigh* sometimes i hate my dreams. not because they are so awful, but becaues waking up is so painful. realizing that it was all a dream and didn't actually happen. last night's, i was glad it didn't happen, but a couple of nights ago,*sigh**shakes head* do you ever have romantic dreams about someone from school who really didn't mean anything to you--like you talked to them, but never felt anything towards them--and suddenly it gets very akward trying to deal with them in a normal way? like there's this one guy, and he's a sweet, nice guy. not much to look at, but hey, neither am i. and i've had at least 3 romantic dreams about him, and it's getting kinda hard to stay normal around him, because i'll see him walking down the hall, and i just expect him to come running over and give me a big hug, put his arm around me, and ask me how my day was. the last dream was so vivid, and so affected my sub-conscious. *twiches* i woke up, still smiling, feeling like that awful lonliness is gone, and then i realized that i had woken up, and therefore that evening at the movies we'd shared was probably a dream. to give you an idea of the sub-conscious level i'm talking about, during the night in some other dream i must have dreamed that my seriously sucky voice had gone away and been replaced with the beautiful, rich singing voice i'd always wanted. i didn't even remember that i'd had a dream like this. i only realized when i was at church later that morning, and opened my mouth to sing. my normal sucky voice came out. and i felt so shocked, and then realized that i must have dreamed my voice was better. i felt kinda like ariel in the little mermaid, except smashing a sea-shell wouldn't give me back my voice.

oh i should just shut up!
have a lovely day!
~the Lady Eowyn
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