Monday, September 18, 2006

I thought of you; one of my popular publishings
I thought of you this morning
I dreamed of you last night
I saw you in all your glory
I saw you in all your might

I saw you cry for me
I saw how much you cared
Then you went away, where I couldn't see
Now I lay drowned in a sea of dispare

It makes wounder now if you were ever really there
I cry & cry through all of my nights
I wish my heart, did my God spare
Because now in all my pain, I lost my light

I thought of the times we've had
And all the dreams we've dreamed
I miss those good time as much as the bad
But now I can't stand it, all the screams

All how much I feel betrayed
You've killed my very soul
All the nights I've cried, on my bed I lied.

By:ANA
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   Please, are you missing me? by ANA
In the green forest I walk among the lush,
Once upon a time I loved a love whom made me blush.
And in my love I was blinded,
And in his arms I was binded.
He never loved me and so I became his sacrifice,
Someone he added to his life for spice.
I slept to dream of him, I lived to love him,
This, was my greatest sin.
He never noticed when I cried,
He never noticed when I died.
He never woke from his dark illusions and deep dreaming,
He never noticed that someone was missing.
He never tried for me,
He never cried for me.

Now I wounder in these woods to haunt my body now,
Now I dance in a dream and I long to be loved, but how?
I have a new love- but how can I know if he loves me?
How can I tell if he'll ask if someone's missing...
If I go missing- If I bleed for him, will he for me?
Can he ever, for my past, forgive me?
Can he love me? Can he cry for my absence at all?
Will he hear my beckoning in the dark- will he answer my call?

Isn't someone missing me?
Is there someone loving me?
Are you missing me?
Are you loving me?
I would die for you,
Would you live for me too?
And if I sleep just to dream of you?
Will I wake and see, laying next to me- you?

Isn't someone missing me?
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Friday, September 15, 2006

   A tragic poetic dream of one of the class princesses.
You know that pretty brunett in class at school who could have any guy she wanted? With the good grades? She got into trouble- but never got punished? That girl was me...and what you don't know is that for me everyday feels the same. And I was being pushed closer and closer to the edge, because I am a loser- looking out amongt all you sheep. You mindlessly accept that which you don't know how to change! Fall away! My pain consumes me- and I can't break away! Maybe we're all really losers in someone else's eyes- so why do you persecute anyone who's not a jock or a cheerleader or your precious groupies and prom queens!? Why do you all toment me- For can't you see- I'm you, I'm her, and I'm me!? I am me- accept me as I am so I can break these chains and finally be free! Your high standards are too low for me so you call me freak or geek, this is getting old- the feelings you share are much too cold. Let me be- Fall away and set me free! I'm a loser- We're all losers!
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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

   how sweet
My husband did the sweetest thing today. He bought me roses and did laundry for me today. How sweet. Now if I can get him to make me a sandwitch-lol...jk.
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Monday, September 11, 2006

   Dear Family and Friends, a poem by ANA
Well, I got over my little fit from last time and am doing alot better :D I wrote a poem, guess I'll post it here, not too many fans, though >p>

Dear Friends and Family

by: lovelywolf, aka ANA

Dear Friends and Family
Please don't cry for me
Even though I'm gone now
I know my death was faul
But please, know that I do- I do love you
And where I'm going, I go to wait for you.

Dear Friends and Family
Please don't cry for me,
I knew this day would come
For it is in the life we run.
Though the rain trickles down and pats the ground
The sun shines here and the angels' songs are the only sound.

Dear Friends and Family
Please don't cry for me,
Know that I am here for you
Please don't cry and feel lonely or blue.
I'll trust in your streangth if you'll trust in mine, my friend.
If you'll just be strong- I'll carry you to the end.
If you'll just be strong,
I'll try my best to be strong---
I feel so helpless- for what can I do?
Your sadness brings me down too.

Dear Friends- I love you.
Dear Family- I love you all too.
And I just know that I'll see you
So I'll sit up here waiting for all of you.

Sept, 10th Sunday, 2006 --:34pm

@@

well- time for bed- nightz
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Friday, September 8, 2006

   Si, muy trieste, y tu?
Well, I found out how deep my boyfriend's love ran for me yesterday. Wait, lemme start from the very beginning, okay.
I woke up Tuesday morning to my fiance telling me to hurry up and get ready so we could go to the HD and get my stuff all worked out. You see, I am pregnent and that's why we were going so early. Well, the nurses or fill in nurses didn't know how to draw blood properly and lets see, aside of the iron check, I was stuck 5 times. I told them there was only one spot to draw blood, they listened after digging and poking the same spot twice. The blood ran well, but prior I told her I hadn't had much to drink and no food. Keep in mind I am pregnant and I hadn't had any nutrition since the afternoon before- which I stated in my food recall. I told her I was feeling dizzy/faint. She said to just talk to her and breath. Lol- a few min. later I started heaving and I did tell her in enough time to take out the needle again, but again she proceeded. Well, I proceeded to leave stomache acid in her trashcan with the needle rolling around in my arm. Only after it was over did she remove it. Too much damage in that vein to continue, she stuck me elsewhere and I was on the verge of tears while she dug about my arm and hand. When she decided to quit b/c I began to scream and my fiance was needless to say upset and at a loss, stared at her to fix it.
Later on that day we were married by a drugged up judge who was just released from the hospital and trying to do us a favor. So my new husband decided to call in and celebrate with me.
He bought beer and decided to ask his brother if he wanted anything, so we got him wine. We also got me some wine for Jose and I to drink on one of our anneversaries. Well... that night my husband found that playing WoW and getting drunk was more important. His brother joined him and then they went to the garage and got drunk. So, I slept on the couch to get away from them. I am still so beyond upset, I cannot contain it! My husband and his brother took the one day that I had this year to celebrate and desecrated it infront of me. My wedding night and the day after was spent in tears.
Now all my husband can say is sorry and his brother pretends like he didn't do anything wrong. Well a curse on both of them. May all of my husband's luck go to my son and I; and may his brother never possess love in any marrage, nor happiness. May my tears now be their- b/c what they did they cannot fix, they cannot make up- that is the only day I will marry him- there will be no other. May my anger be felt in ten folds as well as my sadness.
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Tuesday, September 5, 2006

   Post2 Sept.5,Tue,2006 1:39amc
Well, been writing some more poetry and learning how to draw anime. I did a self portrait today, but i can't show it until i get a scanner. Say- I think its about time to take a little drive to visit my favorite dragon friend :P Speaking of- I need to remember to show her the new mag for New. so she can check out the art- really nice stuff in there- I know, I'm such a noob. Its my 1st New. to buy. Working on getting my first complete manga set, but I want all the money 1st. I have to special order it here >_< ...but better than nothing.
Really tired... can't sleep until my fiance calls...err....give em about 30 more min. and then pass out. Speak to you later, my imaginary computor friend.
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Saturday, September 2, 2006

   For those with less tact
For my first entry I'm going to touch on a touchy subjec. Child abortions. Since when did any human at any stage become anything but a human? Why not let someone else have your baby if you don't want it. My biological mother went through alot of pain to give me the life I have. She is guilty of seeing three men and she lost alot keeping me to give me this life. Because of her I was adopted, I've lived life and I am now having a baby of my own.
I know that no one has any right to tell another what to do with her baby at any stage. However, no one has a right to refer to my baby as an embryo or fetus or etc. and "still able to be "taken care of."" My baby is not simply an object or property, its a piece of me and the memories I shared with someone I love. So to all you women out there telling us young pregnant woman that bit about babies being just a souless fetus... lemme give you some Shakespear : "A rose by anyother name..." or rather, A baby by anyother name is still a baby...as such is a human. The choice of life and death was not granted upon man without circumstances.
So please, quit telling me what i should do and let me just be happy, thanks.
Btw, if I offened, please- I do not set out to, I just wanted to speak out in my own post for us young and/or single mothers.We are not bad people- and if I offend, please tell me what and how it offened so that I may correct it.
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