Sunday, May 20, 2007

omgwft
|f jo (4/\/ r34|) 7415, jo /\/33|) 4 71f3!!
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Friday, May 18, 2007

stupid roller coasters!!!!!
so life is strange. I have every reason to be insecure about things, but I'm actually alright. My trust and faith in her makes things good. so anyhoo. I'm gonna be doing alot of work from home, and I think im not gonna be going to Akon for my penguin.

I saw a new anime called Suzuke. Its not even out yet, but i saw a primeir at a con. it was great. its suchs shojo.

I stoped eating so much. like one meal a day. and maybe a snack. but yeah... lots of water.

i have been sleepinh to much lately. it would be great if i didnt have to work on things.

...so in closing...
things are looking up from my insecurities, and I love my peguin more and more each day. and I need to start feeling more healthy. TTFN, ta ta for now!!
(10 kool point to tell me wher that came from)
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007

simply tired
(if you dont feel like reading it all, skip to the last paragraph)

alot had happened since my last post. I really dont think i want to be where i'm at right now. I need a serious break.

my penguin hasnt really talked to me much at all recently. we talked fr a bit, and that was nice. we usally talk at least one a day. and thats usally for an hours or more. but the past few weeks its been fewer and fewer. And I know shes been nusy, so its not like its her fault. I love her, it would be stupid to blame her. but i had a hard time dealing with it regardless. but i had to grin and bare it. I know she talks to others more then me, and thats all good. i dont have to be the only person she talks to, shes tired or me as it is, lol. Yesterday was the first time we didnt talk at all. thats ok too. things usally come up and i know shes been feeling sick. Which makes me a bit worried.

My main problems, which realy get on her nervs are my insecurities. on one hand it makes me feel like i cant talk to about it or anything...but thats just me being insecure again, and on the other hand i guess at one point im just being a broken record. I realize I just expecting her to act in certain ways, and she does to. So I try to be calm and i really try to deal with it. And when no ones looking it doent help much... but oh well ... myproblems; not lists in any certain order;
-afraid of losing her again
-feeling forgoten
-ignored
-feeling threatend by certain ppl
-feeling like im the last priority

and well the list goes on.

I really dont want to feel like that , and I really dont like annoying her with my problems over and over. I dont want to push her away.

in closing, for the most part I know none of it is true. She Loves me. these are my problems, and im just having a hard time dealing with the fact that she does. cuz i feel like i should have screwed something up by now. I just have to be patient. Our current situation doesnt allow for us to do much together or even talk. and I know shes worth the wait. I miss her bunches everyday, and i guess thats ok. I'm keeping a head up about it all. and really, shes helped me is so many ways. but anyways, im off now, i love you penguin ^_^
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Monday, May 7, 2007

blog
so...i think im better. still a tiny bit sad, but i'll get over it. talking to my penguin helps. so yeah...i've had a strange type sickness for while.... im not even sure how or why...so yeah...i gotta go now, but yeah... blog more later..not that anyone read this...well...some new ppl have so thats kinda kool. V_V but my penguin doesnt
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Friday, May 4, 2007

djgnbdobv
i cant help bu feel ignored... and uniportant... why am i like this... i have the most amazing GF... who doesnt have time for for me anymore. why does she still want me around...im have so many issues, its not funny. all i know is that i cant be without her. i love her with all me heart. ^_^ shes my penguin. i'll always be hers. things will get better...i think i just talked myself down...in a way. I <3 you so much. I only want you to be happy.
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Thursday, May 3, 2007

i hate hick-ups
i dont always get em, when i do, they suck...and hurt...and right now, they wont stop T_T ... the funny thing is, is that i havent eaten anything...omg...im ranting... oh well, i wish i wasnt ugly and had a video camera, so i can be a vloger. im so weird... anyhoo CURSE YOU HICK-UPS!!
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Wednesday, May 2, 2007

i hate me
y is it the perrson i cant stand the most, the person that gets most on my nerves, is me. I feel like i need to get rid of me...but yeah...not possible. i dont see how anyone can put up with my neediness, and just plain stupidity... i keep having all these thoughts of running my car in to something..going very VERY fast. i dont even try to please myself, i just try to avoid myself, and that frustration just doesnt go well. . . . . . . idk if the more i vent..the "better i feel" but the only way i can either forget, or take my mind out things, is my penguin. I wish i could do the same for her. i really dont know why she puts up with me. i know she loves me, and thats really comforting. i just cant explain how much it sickens me to hear myself.... im srry for this...just realize im venting, and i really need this...
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Thursday, April 26, 2007

life...
well...i have a busy weekend...so many things to do...so little sleep.... yay, fun. @_@ so anyways... i guess im a bit bored, or rather procastinating. I'm supose to be getting a new kitten soon. V_V my peguin was supose to call...i guess not, i miss her... anyways, gonna go now, and prolly start working...maybe
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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

tears
T_T noone ever reads my posts, not even my penguin...
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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Jack Johnson Lyrics - Upside Down Lyrics
Artist: Jack Johnson Lyrics
Song: Upside Down Lyrics
Who's to say
What's impossible
Well they forgot
This world keeps spinning
And with each new day
I can feel a change in everything
And as the surface breaks reflections fade
But in some ways they remain the same
And as my mind begins to spread its wings
There's no stopping curiosity

I want to turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs
I don't want this feeling to go away

Who's to say
I can't do everything
Well I can try
And as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren't always just what they seem

I want to turn the whole thing upside down
I'll find the things they say just can't be found
I'll share this love I find with everyone
We'll sing and dance to Mother Nature's songs
This world keeps spinning and there's no time to waste
Well it all keeps spinning spinning round and round and

Upside down
Who's to say what's impossible and can't be found
I don't want this feeling to go away

Please don't go away
Please don't go away
Please don't go away
Is this how it's supposed to be
Is this how it's supposed to be

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