Friday, June 23, 2006

   Update>
Just an Update>!
-My sister had her baby, it was a little girl. Her name is Sydney Marie Daily and she was 6 pounds 10 ounces and 3/4, 19 1/2 inches, and had blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm not saying this just because she was my niece but she was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen!
-It's offical, I'm in love. I'm not going to say his name because I'm superficial and I'm afraid it will jinx me.
-My self-esteem has went WAY UP since school ended because I hate people who go to my school and they're all evil people who talk down to you like you are nothing. :) So since I'm not around them anymore I'm happier.
-Starting in the fall I will be a freshman in high school. Right now it depends, but it will either SUCK or be like the best thing ever. Depending on if the evil Norton people are still evil, which I think they will still be.

That was my Update>! Hope you liked that little bit of insight on my life!
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Thursday, May 18, 2006

   **EXCITEMENT**
Yay! My birthday is next Monday!! So excited!!!!!! then that following weekend is when Loyal Oak Lake Opens!! and I only have like 12 more days of school left!![counting weekends]

YAY !!!!!!!!!!!!! WWWOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! YAY
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

A Question for all you Rockers out there
Can you Axl Rose?
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Prattle
I was sick from school today for personal reasons and I've done nothing but watch the tele, read, and go on here. But I got online today and my friends all IMed me telling me how much they missed me! And then they told me funny stories of what happened at school today and I laughed for the FIRST time in like 4 days.

My family and I just recently threw a baby shower for my sister Mandy. She's pregnant now and is due near the beginning of June. So to repay us for our hard work, she is taking me, my mama, and my sister Atosha "somewhere" this weekend on Saturday. Tosh thinks it's to see Grease live, I think she's taking us to a spa. I really hope it's the spa!! PLEASE BE THE SPA!!

I've been kinda depressed lately... and its not even over recent things either. When I was about 4, my mom, Jane, and my dad, Jay, were fighting a lot. He was doing drugs and my mom was staying at home with me. ***FYI, my sisters Mandy and Tosh have a different dad but same mom, but my dad adopted them, so they're my sisters.*** So anyway, my mom started putting up tape recorders around the house the video tape him admitting that he does drugs. One day, he found the tape recorder in the couch and screamed at my mom for it. He started hitting her. I could hear everything through the thin walls on the room next to where they were. Mandy's boyfriend [now Husband] went in and tried to stop the quarrel but he couldn't. So Tosh called the police to take my dad away. A couple months later, 3 days before my birthday, I remember my mom sobbing over some papers she got in the mail. I didn't need an explaination at 4, I knew my dad filed a divorce. After that I was heart-broken, the only place I could retreat too was my back yard, which was about an acre. It had beautiful natural landscape that I would just walk around in for hours. I found myself frequently talking to my passed Grandparents and cousin Bobby about what had been happening to me and asking for help. None came. I quickly lost hope. Soon my dad wanted to visit me and I refused. I felt like he didn't love me after he left the family, so I avoided him for two years. Finally, he coaxed me out of my home and persuaded me to visit with him, and I did for the years afterward. My parents moved on, my mom found a wonderful boyfriend that loved her dearly, and so my dad found a girlfriend, Chris. He moved in with his girlfriend so I had to stay there every winter. Her kids were hellians. They made me cry every time I went over there. Jenna was 2 years apart from me and Kylee was 2 years apart from her. They framed me of stealing things numerous times and I am still to blame for it today. Their evil mother made me clean their messes when I was only a child. At the age of 13, both of her kids started smoking and drinking. Chris ignored it as much as she could and then she finally faced it, but in a wrong way, she started supporting them by buying them cigs when they weren't old enough too. Around 15, both of them started doing drugs. Chris ignored it. Now, some of you might be thinking that, yeah it's ok to do these things but they were doing it to the extreme. My dad pressured me to be nice to them and be friends with them, but I didn't want too. I was raised to stay away from people like them. So then he let Chris do whatever she wanted with me, she forced me to do the dishes and help clean and cook or I would face massive guilt. I was a guest in their home doing housework. Her daughters should have been doing it, but they didn't. If they didn't want to, Chris didn't force them to. So finally I was able to stand up for myself and tell my dad that I didn't want to go with him to Chris's house in the winter anymore. He took it as "I didn't love him anymore." It just irritated me even more. The only Heaven I had with him was in the summer, at Loyal Oak Lake Park. It's a magnificent place. It's half trailer park, half lake really. It seemed to be the only placed where people accepted me and where I had countless friends who supported and cared for me. And yet the emotional torture followed me there. My dads golden rule is "If you cook, the other person cleans." It was understandable, he cooked, I cleaned. But it came to a point where he didn't even cook, but I still had to clean. One of his friends could be feeding us, and I still had to clean. The issue wasn't a big deal but it was beginning to be a waste of my time. So then I didn't even eat his cooking anymore so I wouldn't have to clean. Simple as that. But on the opening weekend about two years ago, he and his girlfriend were cooking dinner as a friend and myself watched about 7 kids in the RV. Chris asks me to take out this dish when it was done in the microwave. I told her that I might not hear it but I will try. Well, I didn't hear it over the noise of the kids and her response was,"for your failure to help with dinner, you can eat last." so my friend and I waited until everyone was done, big deal. When it was our turn to eat, every last bit of food was gone. I went home to my moms house hungry. Then I got terribly sick from not eating. I felt like my dad didn't even care for me at all. I felt like it was his fault that I was sick, that he's the one who starved me. Then my dad did the most horrible thing he could ever do, he took away my home. It was that place I had been my whole life and I felt as if I was connected to that place, thats how close I was to it. But he kicked my family out of it and forced us to move. I had the nicest neighbors anyone could find there. There were the most beautiful trees (pine trees that take a LONG time to grow.) There were so many different animals that had lived there sinced before I was born. But he destroyed all of it. He shot the animals, concreted the yard, cut down the trees. It looks horrible now. I try so hard not to break down in tears when I see that place. I know some of you are thinking "dude, you're psycho. it's just a house and a big yard. get over it." But it was were all my memories were and I charished that place. In my heart, I have no father. My mom keeps trying to tell me that her boyfriend, Tom, is always trying to love me like I was his own child, but I dont want him too. I don't need another father figure to mess things up again.


^^ Well that's basically my life story... yeah it was boring, I know. I can't get over things very easily, as you can see.
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