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myO Still <3's You
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Comments (8) | Permalink Tuesday, August 30, 2005
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Comments (8) | Permalink
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Back again... Here to stay? or Last POst?
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Well again it has been a long time since I have posted
Ya I don’t know why I haven’t been posting I guess I have been way out of it just sleeping and zoneing out and what not
Skool starts in a bout a week I think and I have no idea what my room # is there is only about 300 room in the skool and the # I got for my home room id E1001 XD!
I don’t know why I haven’t been on here at all its not like I have done anything special over the weeks I have not posted I just have been sitting here doing nothing just sleeping not even really eating wired hu?
I don’t know I f I should keep this journal or not I don’t want to make yall wait for me to post and when I do post most of the time I don’t comment back because all of the things or all of the people that update everyday How can you all update everyday?
Skool is also starting soo im like errr if I don’t have time to update now how am I going to have time to update than? But right now its more of feeling like I want to update not having enough time or not I have all the time in the world ^^;;
Random rambling about stuff …. And actually updating!! Yay … well I will try to get to your sites
~take care sweetheartz~
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Saturday, August 13, 2005
Broken
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Changed my site … as you can see I hope XD (I don’t know how perceptive some of you are >.>)
I like it I never had white before for my theme and now I have 2 shades of white ^^;;
It reminds me of a hospital … dono why and I love the background ^_^
KITTY … random ne?
Also wile changing my site I changed the music even though I liked taproot I had to put the 12 stones ^-^ here is the lyrics for the song that is up Broken
Alone again again alone
Patiently waiting by the phone
Hoping that you will call me home
The pain inside my love denied
Hopes and dreams swallowed by pride
Everything I need it lies in you
‘Cause I’m broken
I know I need you now
‘Cause deep inside I'm broken
You see the way I live
I know I know your heart is broken
When I turn away
I need to be broken
Take the pain away
I question why you chose to die
When you knew your truth I would deny
You look at me
The tears begin to fall
And all in all faith is blind
But I fail time after time
Daily in my sin I take your life
All the hate deep inside
Slowly covering my eyes
All these things I hide
Away from you again
All this fear holding me
My heart is cold and I believe
Nothing’s gonna change
Until I'm whole again
~Take care sweetheartz~
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Friday, August 12, 2005
Maybe its not to late to lean how to love and forget how to hate…
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And to think I was going to FORGIVE him …or at lest try to hear his side of the story … whatever story that may be >.>
“some siblings have strange ways of showing their appreciation for their sisters or brothers.”~Jaxx
Right… not my brother … he’s just a jack asss
Yesterday Chris came over yet again -.- I was going to be civil but no
First off he was waving a wooden box in my face acting like he wasn’t doing any thing so after I shoved that out of my face I was ignoring him
Than him and my lil brother dale where throwing army men at them I was ignoring him still occasionally taking army men out of my hair acting like it wasn’t bothering me that must have really pissed him off
Because after he had no more army men left he took my arm and tried to pull me out of the chair … I sat there still not paying attention to him even though he was kinda hurting me than that must have Really pissed him off me not yelling or fighting back soo he twisted my arm around it hurt so than I got up and kicked him in the stomached or the balls not sure than he shoved me into the cabinet thingy and I hit my head on it … im just glad the glass didn’t break
After he did that I just sat their hand clenched in a fist crying out of anger and frustration
(Ok maybe some pain my head STILL HURTS!!)
IM TIRED OF HIM PUSHHING ME AROUND IM SICK AND TIRED!!!! WTF DID I DO TO HIM??? HE HAS MADE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL!
I was trying to be nice I didn’t even Do ANYTHING to him to even provoke him this time I was just sting there thinking about giving the ass hole another chances to see if it was a wired (and vary painful) way of showing affection…. But I don’t care now I shouldn’t have even considered giving him another chance XD!!
Damn my head really really hurts now *holds it* smashing it into glass didn’t help at all
I guess some people shouldn’t get extra chances because I know I gave him WAY to many why who the hell knows I guess I was just trying to see if he had a heart witch I don’t think he dose
Mehhhh enough im going to bed to see if I will wake up WITHOUT a head ake
Sorry for another post about my Lovely brother I just really needed to get the frustration out -.-
~Take care sweetheartz~
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Thursday, August 11, 2005
Wasting The Dawn
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[Changed music yesterday to Poem by taproot its an awesome song enjoy]
I still have the damn head ake because I didn’t take anything and the fact that I was(am) Pissed off!
Most of the time I am a vary [Vary] Patience person I wont get angry at many people and get along with [Almost] everyone
But NO! My own Brother I can’t get along with he is the reason I am soo pissed that BASTERD was here yet again! Why? Because he was working and his stupid car my dad bout for him! And no that’s not the reason I hate my Dear brother the hate must have stared when I was 10?
He would always be the favorite with my grandfather since is a boy and he never had a son. He would always say he loved us both I never doubted that but he would take him aside/let him stay over/do more things with him because he was a boy.
Than around 7th he stayed back because he’s a dumb ass and that meant he was in the same grade as me (we where still living in the same house at that time) and he became mean-ER if that’s possible (he was never nice to me) he would taunt me throw rocks at me and other things and in 8th grade it got worse he was just EVIL [and not in the good way yes there is a god evil XD] all his hurtful words really got to me and that’s when I became suicide and went to that lovely metal asylum …
And now in days my mom and dad let him come over all most every day to work on that damn peace of junk car that my dad bout him …I think my parents favor him to grrr my mom dose his home work for him literally she did it for him not help him did it XD just because she doesn’t want him to stay back? She never helps me and when I ask she says she never has the time…
And my dad bring him to his dumb train shit every week (he’s in a modal train club thingy where he play with trains with wired old guys)
Every week he dose this for him and his hobbies my father also takes him to car shows and help him fix he damn car my father never helped me with my hobbies (poetry and anime) *sigh* he doesn’t even understand my hobbies he thinks they are a waist of time why don’t I get support for the things I like to do?
GOD DAMN IT I HATE HIM!!! You all have no idea how much I hate him. Do you have anyone you hate? Take the amount of hate you have for them times 10!
Aren’t older brother supposed to protect their yonder sisters? (Even though im only 11 mouths yonder than him)
But no we hate each other to death he is the only one person I can say that I hate
I hate the way he acts
I hate the way he talks
I hate his laugh (stupid lil snicker XD)
I hate how he treats other people
I hate the fact we have the same blood the same last name
I hate how people think we are twins (stupid people)
I HATE how he seems to have everything that I cant have -.- every one pays attention to him/ he has a girlfriend some one that loves him(don’t ask me why I think he drug her)
God damn basted now my head hurts more because im angry I think im going to end now because I just told a lot about my self ^^;; I seem to be opening up to yall more and more
Sorry for the cursing and the length of this post long hu?
~Take care sweetheartz~
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Wednesday, August 10, 2005
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HAPPY BITHDAY Brit!![aka Ruri Illuser]
Hope your reading this … I think you are cuz your in your PC skool sucks for you ro be stuck in thare on your sweet sixteen hu? lol
And your not old your only 16 XD
~__~__~___~__~__~__~
ya what to post now >.> …
Damn I have a head ake! But I cant take any meds with out some one watching me XD and since its 3 am (it’s a theme for me to update now hu?) no ones up so ya and they all have the idea that ill just chug the hole bottle … maybe they think that way because I did it before? XD
That bad isn’t it? My liver must hate me why because that’s happened before 2? Times? I don’t know why I do it (ok the one time I was seriously trying to kill my self) but the second time was like ‘if I take them ALL will I never wake up again hmm let find out!’ Like I was tooo hyper for my own good
They should keep better watch of me because this ALWAYS happens when they are out … and yet they still leave me alone smart parents hu? well I cant blame them it my fault for thinking this way … but what started me to think this way .. what got me into this depression/crazyness well I don’t think I want to get into that … helll I just ranted a lot [make any sense?]
I just opened up to you people again I have to learn to Stop doing that XD! Lol
Wow went from happy post to sadish post XD! And my head still hurts! Damn it
~take care sweetheartz~
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Tuesday, August 9, 2005
This is How a Heart Breaks
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And im back yet again.. well it was only one day this time ^^;;
Soo sorry for not getting to your sites I only went to one XD! Im so mean
Its almost 3 am and I am hyper and not the happy hyper ether it’s the kind that you cant fall asleep because you just had to much damn sugar *sigh*
And I really have nothing to post… lets see I haven’t posted for about a week there must be SOME THING interesting that I have done than >.>
- Went to steff house got hi on sugar
- Got manga back
- Went over to mikes house and swam in his pool
- Went to see charley and the chocolate factory
That’s pretty much what happened
Also my best friend Joey came over but he seemed distant … we haven’t talked to each other in a long time so I understand but he didn’t really talk to me at all .. and when he did he just asked the same questions he always asks ‘soo do you have a boyfriend yet?’
I still don’t know why he ALWAYS asks that (hes 28 and gay so he has no interests in me XP)
And why would I have a boyfriend? I don’t have much going for me … -.-
Whatever im meant to be alone
Okay im going to try and get to at lest some of your sites today [really sorry that I didn’t before]
~take care sweetheartz~
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Sunday, August 7, 2005
Back? anyone miss mee?!
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whare to start...
i havent been here in a wile hu? a week or soo
yet iv been here all along (on the pc not updateing) dono why tho...
ya my life is just @.@ i cant evin put it into words thats how fucked up it is XD
i feel alone in a group
i dont want to be around anyone yet i dont want to be alone
im sooo confused!!!
....
ya sorry for not updatin yall ill see what i can do about that ... i dont know if this is my derpression again or what *sigh* at lest im not trying to kill my self ... damn watch that jinx it...
^^;;
well talk to yall later when ever that is ... you never know with me
~take care sweetheartz~
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Friday, July 29, 2005
Pages (91): [ First ][ Previous ] 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 [ Next ] [ Last ]And Weeeeee!!
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HIII EVERYONE ... i im posting from steffs house! ^_^
sfif kate nikki and steff are heere ... we are yet again partying and eating candy!!! we must whait untill we get hyper... and thats not far down the road.... like i just ate candy!!!!... and i look o so sexy in this hat .... most likey will have pics randomly from this ^_^;; okay enuff of this
got to get back to the crazzynesss!! ill try to get to your sites maybe but the crayness will porvalie!!!!
~take care sweetheartz~
~take caresweetheartz~
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