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Sunday, March 14, 2004


   pomes

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when i look in to your eyes : When I look in to your eyes theirs nothing there to
See nothing but my own mistakes starring back at me we are here but I cant look around its to much to take I cant look back when its just soo fake we where friends at one point in time now my heart hurts for you every tear you shed I let two of my own fall Now you got me caught in the act You bring the thought back I’m telling you that I see it right through you In the memory you’ll find me but It won't be all right despite what they say Nothing ever stops all these thoughts and the pain attached to them Everyone feels so far away from me epically you If I could change I would take back the pain I would Replacing this pain with something numb I hate to look into those eyes And see an ounce of pain but than I Break down, and cease all feeling wishing to hold you but you Reach out, and take my heart away than I run from you It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone you won't find anything Worthy of redeeming so I let you go I turn my back on you walking in to the distance never seeing what we once had.

i hold on to death:Foreskin in this damned place I wait to die and waste away, the darkness is holding me tightly and will never go away the tears I cry wont bring them back or bring me to the light I am gone from the world and theirs nothing that can change that I will never see the sun resin because it is all darkness to me, I don’t belong anywhere in side of me there is nothing to lose I can go never looking back die right now I wouldn’t care nothing to lose I wanna let go of the pain I felt so long take it all away with one act the very worst part of you is me so why would I wanna stop you this wont last ill be gone never to return I don’t know what set me off first but I know what I cant stand being here looking at you seeing you like this I walk away but the sun goes down and I fell the night betray me . It holds me tightly and I hope I won’t wake up to be lost in this forsaken world. You always take away when I give in well never again I walk away in to the darkness not wanting to wake up not willing to live another day it holds me tightly death is here holding me wanting me to go with him I wont say no and you cant stop me the sun is not rising for me any more. I walk on I for fit this game you play with me im done and I win the kiss of death is the last I feel he takes me away in to the darkness holding me tightly forever never seeing you the light ever again … your love is lost im now dead he loved me more and im with him in the eternal darkness never letting go of death because he loves me more than you the light ever did and as I stay death is mine and I am his ……forever in the darkness we hold each other

two pomes about love/friendship love is a emoutin i realy dont like my hart has been brokin >_< and i dont think it can be fixed!

~peace~

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Saturday, March 13, 2004


   my day

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today was a bad day >_< i wake up too my litte sister and brother yelling like tarts. than my dad whats to know if i stole something AND I DINT why would i want a razor ??? than my pc broke down he trys to fix it and fets mad at it but than stays mad XD he keeps on yelling at me cuz im not in my room ( i stay in thare alot on the pc ^^U) but the pc is not realy fixed. than my mother comes home and thinks i stole a ring i dont like julery XD. after that we all go to the store . i walk around in my trench cout with my hood on cuz i wanna . and they yell ay mr for that. and on the way home im slint i dont wanna talk to them at all cuz that what happens when i get mad i dont talk. soo than my dad yells FINE I DONT CARE ABAOUT YOU ANYMORE ETHER. -_- iv been listing to one song over and over since "silver and cold" good song love it helps me forget.

~peace~

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DAMN COMPUTER

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errr my pc is all swered up and i wont be postin alot (im on my dads pc ^^U) i wont be postin alot maybe once every onther day or sooo . ill talk later ok and check up on your site now .~peace~ < /tr >

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Thursday, March 11, 2004


testynessand qwizes

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wooot i have some qwizes for yall cuz in bored










<--back







yay im evil mahmahmahmah ^_^

~peace~< /tr >< /td >< /table >
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   yay its over
testing is over JOY. and tomarow is friday soo its all goood . im helpin kate with her hoimework but i dont know why she askin me ^^U . im also singing to my cds , damn i got a progress report im falin sinec. >< and my dad is all mad at me . dodo hope he calms down ^^U mad dads is funny but not fun.

song of the week: I... I came here by day, but I left here in darkness
And found you, found you on the way
And now, it is silver and silent, it is silver and cold
You, in somber resplendence, I hold

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one
Your sins into me
As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me) Your sins into...
(Your sins into me) Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one

Light, like the flutter of wings, feel your hollow voice rushing into me
As you're longing to sing
So I... I will paint you in silver, I will wrap you in cold
I will lift up your voice as I sink

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one, now
Your sins into me
As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me) Your sins into me

Cold in life's throws, I'll fall asleep for you
Cold in life's throws, I only ask you turn away
Cold in life's throws, I'll fall asleep for you
Cold in life's throws, I only ask you turn
As they seep... into me, oh, my beautiful one, now

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one
Your sins into me
As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me)
Your sins into me... oh

Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one, now
Your sins into me
As a rapturous voice escapes, I will tremble a prayer
And I'll beg for forgiveness
(Your sins into me) Your sins into...
(Your sins into me) Your sins into me
Oh, my beautiful one
silver & cold love that song
~peace~

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Wednesday, March 10, 2004


   more testing
today thare was ... more damn testing and i got news that i will be going to fl for next yr ^_^ no more of this skool thank you "god" soo in hight skool ill be in fl wail every one else is stuck here. i tight open new opertuniys up for me and ill get fakther away from my brother and his freinds thats only thng about the skool now they are still thare . well some of his friends are cool but most id kill just as quick as him. but he will be coming back next week to take the gepa XD damn but the funny part is he will be excouted by the pricalple ^_^ well its a good thing cuz he did almost kill me -_- anyway we olny have one more day of testing and than where done with the damn thing and thares 2 more weeks till my birth day [ wow im srprized i lived to my 14th b dady XD]

a pome for some one i use to know yet still do but dont ( now im confuzed):
When I look in to your eyes theirs nothing there to
See nothing but my own mistakes starring back at me we are here but I cant look around its to much to take I cant look back when its just soo fake we where friends at one point in time now my heart hurts for you every tear you shed I let two of my own fall Now you got me caught in the act You bring the thought back I’m telling you that I see it right through you In the memory you’ll find me but It won't be all right despite what they say Nothing ever stops all these thoughts and the pain attached to them Everyone feels so far away from me epically you If I could change I would take back the pain I would Replacing this pain with something numb I hate to look into those eyes And see an ounce of pain but than I Break down, and cease all feeling wishing to hold you but you Reach out, and take my heart away than I run from you It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone you won't find anything Worthy of redeeming so I let you go I turn my back on you walking in to the distance never seeing what we once had.


AND ONE MORE THING DAVEY HAVOK IS IN THE HOSPITAL -_- hes the lead sing from A.F.I. and i hope he gets better

~peace~

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Tuesday, March 9, 2004


my day
i woke up thinking i was a hr late but it was 6:30 not 7:30 thannk god i have more than one clock in my room than aat skool the testing contenuse >_< i hate it but after the testing for the rest of the day we watched movies that was kool but in french kate was sitin next to me and brian was in front of me and every soo often brian would look at kate XD whats with him than i got home to my mom sayin " we are goin out" soo i had too go we went too the mall and got and air purifyer and than we went to the food court the food thare sucks soo i dint get anything and they where all woried about me like " why arint you hunngery and ong whats wrong?" well nothings wrong and i just dont want to be thare i hate the mall but i got all hallows E.P. and answer that and stay fashionable from afi soo it was all good they got that for me becuse i looked sad well i kinda was but now im betta.more testin for me tomarow XD talk later.

convo of the week ( i dont like doing it ever day XD)xXNumbToYouXx: did you notice durring the movie brainn keeped on lookin at you
xXNumbToYouXx: XD
XNumbToYouXx: he was
xXNumbToYouXx: he was lookin and smilin at you
xXNumbToYouXx:like a foool
Parnoid Person: >.0
Parnoid Person: [twitch voilently]
xXNumbToYouXx: ><
xXNumbToYouXx: he did it every 2 or 3 mins
xXNumbToYouXx: i was going to hit
xXNumbToYouXx: him
Parnoid Person: u should have
xXNumbToYouXx: ya but than i would have gotin drool on my hand
Parnoid Person: ..?
Parnoid Person: how
Parnoid Person: he drools?
xXNumbToYouXx: ><
xXNumbToYouXx: i sit next to him in a cupple classes and i think he dose
Parnoid Person: eww..
xXNumbToYouXx: i know
xXNumbToYouXx: that poor asssss
Parnoid Person: yep
Parnoid Person: the poor ass fuckhead
xXNumbToYouXx: i think he only has 3 shirts
Parnoid Person: yah he does..
xXNumbToYouXx: XD

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the last kiss
i love this song ^_^ its by afi love it!!!

Hung in your room, swaying, hoping only that you'll see.
All by myself, I'm alone in such poor company.
The deeper I think, the deeper I seem to sink, I can't stop the insects that are feeding,
pull the needles from beneath my skin. I broke myself, shattered, tied a bow around every peice.
You'll love the eyes. Have they always shown so vacantly? The more I show the less you'll want to know.
I can't stop the insects that are feeding, pull the needles from beneath my skin.
Now I'm on display. I am becoming. Hurt myself today. It's all for you.
Do you like what I'm becoming? Cut myself today. It's all for you.
I part the night, flashing, approaching as I watch you flee.
Pushed through your panes. Seems I've landed quite uncomfortably.
But as I pass through souls of broken glass I can't stop the insects that are feeding.
Pull the needles from beneath my skin.

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Monday, March 8, 2004


   Emotional Times
life sucks sometimes, friendships turn to lies,
a hatred in disguise it brings tears to my eyes,
i can see the truth from the neutral side in my mind,
confusion cripples me unto my element of control unsureness.
emotional times i'm just fine.
trauma's etched in my mind, i can see 'em all the time,
i've seen my share of pain and suffering,
i am just fine, respecting something more than nothing all the time,
and it's time, to move on. i have seen my faith sailing away,
and i have seen my faith's coming back to me, i can see it,
coming back to me,
i can see it, i can taste it,
i can live it cuz i'm just fine

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   hehe
ill be going in 10 mins but im still here LOL here is a qwize Blue
You are Blue.

Overall you're a pretty content person. At peace
with yourself, you don't tend to over react.
Although at times you can be quite harsh and
cold towards others.


What Color Best Represents Your Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla
thax to Demonsprite for the qwize

got to run litaraly ^^U

~peace~~

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