Monday, August 29, 2005

Dropped out of sight
I am always coming onto myO to check the last date I posted, and then I get ready to post, and then...nothing... I think for the past few weeks (excluding Otakon), I have just dropped out of sight of the whole world. The only people who ever see me are my coworkers. My mother even complained that she never sees me. I've only really kept in touch with two people, on the phone, late at night. My schedule has been pretty much the same everyday. Go to bed really late and then sleep 'til it's about time to go to work. Come home, talk on the phone til really late then go to bed...etc. I watch Adult Swim on Saturday night and that is really the only difference. I have no actual life really.

I've been doing quite a bit of reading. Rereading books I loved. But...I can't ever seem to focus on it anymore. My mind wanders alot...I keep stopping while I have been typing this post. A lot of times I find myself just staring in a random direction, thinking about nothing, or a whole lot of things. I'm confused by my own thoughts too. They're so jumbled, I sometimes think my head is like a game of Boggle. I barely know what I am trying to type. Maybe I should start timing myself to see how long it takes me to finish this post. It's 12:38am right now.

I think I'm jumping topics right now, so I'll hop into Otakon. Otakon Baltimore, the most reverred east coast anime convention. I went, I saw, I left. Pretty simple. It wasn't very exciting to me. There were 22,000 people there. Too many people. I felt claustrophobic the whole time. The highlight of the trip was getting to see Howl's Moving Castle. It was a good movie. I went to a few panel, but the sheer amount of people that showed up to them created a lot of disorganization and sometimes, general chaos. The dealer's room was okay, but there was a lot of the same stuff. If anyone is interested, here's a list of things I ended up buying:

Heat Guy J vol. 1-7 (DVDs)
.hack// Legend of the Twilight Bracelet wallscroll
Final Fantasy X wallscroll
Fruits Basket wallscroll
Gothic Lolita pattern book
Saiyuki Reload vol. 1 (manga)
Angel Sanctuary artbook
$10 Grab bag which contained some random things. 2 out of 4 were really cute things.
Lace collar with a bell on it

I also bought Big O:II for one of my friends. And a Gothic Lolita pattern book for Roxie.

As for dropping out of sight...I guess I have conflicting feelings. I kinda want to be left alone, but I am already lonely. It's kinda strange and hard to explain. And, lately, I've had this really detached feeling. Like I'm never really here, but I am...my fingers are typing this message after all. I guess mentally I keep losing myself. I just go completely blank sometimes. Like the only thing that exists is the direction I am randomly staring in. And I can't even focus on that. I don't think I am making any sense and I keep losing my train of thought, so I'm going to end my post here.

~Lumi ^_^

Current Mood: Detached and unfocused
Current Music: "Cloud Age Symphony" from Last Exile
Quote: "All that you see or seem, is but a dream within a dream. They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." - Edgar Allan Poe.
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