Saturday, February 25, 2006

Sibling Showdown
*episode 6*

Sometime later, there is a strange sight to be seen. A person who appears to be Sesshomaru is sitting in Inuyasha’s favorite tree sulking. It is, of course, Inuyasha; and he has been there since Kikyo left over an hour ago. Miroku walks to under the tree and calls, “Inuyasha; come down.” Inuyasha drops to the ground and slumps down against the tree. Miroku sits next to him and says, “Now, now Inuyasha; you’re not the first person to be dumped by someone they love. In fact, I do it to people all the time. It does make sense: when you no longer find someone sexually attractive, you abandon them. You then move on to someone more appealing.” Inuyasha says, “You tryin to be helpful?” Miroku says, “Yes, it isn’t working is it?” “No.” Inuyasha says. “You got any advice for the person on the other side of bein dumped?” The monk thinks for a moment. Then he says, “All that comes to mind is to get right back out there; for instance, you shouldn’t pass up this opportunity to score with Kagura while you’re still in Sesshomaru’s body.” Inuyasha goes back to his sulking and Miroku gets up. He sighs and shrugs his shoulders in a classic well, I tried gesture; then walks off. A few minutes later, Sango walks up the hill to where he sits. She sits next to him and is quiet for several seconds in respect for his privacy. Finally she says, “Inuyasha, I just wanted let you know I know how you’re feeling; and I’m sorry. I know what it’s like to love someone who’s only after…well, you know. And I know how it feels to have that fact come crashing down on you.” Inuyasha says, “So basically, we can be miserable together.” She says, “Umm, basically.” Inuyasha says, “Thanks Sango, really; but I can be miserable just fine on my own.” Sango sits through several more seconds of silence before she gets up and walks down to the village. Next Shippo comes up the hill. He looks at Inuyasha for a long minute. Then, he says, “Idiot.” Inuyasha sits there, too depressed to respond. Shippo’s great plan for cheering Inuyasha up having failed, he leaves. The next one to approach him, much to Inuyasha’s surprise, is Kagura. She walks up to him and asks, “Why am I doing this? I’m not even one of your friends.” “How should I know?” Inuyasha asks her. She says, “Anyway, right now, you’re hotter than you’ve ever been. But that’s not going to last. My Sesshy is going to get his body back; and when he does, the dead girl will be interested in you again.” Clearly considering the matter to be resolved, Kagura turns and walks back the way she came. Finally, Kagome comes and sits next to him. Hesitantly, she puts her arm around him. He says, “Don’t bother; just admit it, you’re only interested in me in the same way Kikyo is.” “No,” Kagome says, “That’s not true. I like you because…well, sometimes you…I mean I like your…hmm. I’m not really sure; but it’s not just because you’re hot.” Inuyasha says, “I just don’t get it; how could I not have known?” Kagome says, “Well, you’re not the most perceptive person. Look, Inuyasha, we need to talk; if this is permanent…” He cuts her off, “The monk says it won’t be.” She says, “But he could be wrong; he is Miroku. If it is permanent, I want you to know that things will have to change between us; but I won’t abandon you.” Inuyasha says, “You guys really suck at this.” Kagome says, “Excuse me?!?” He says, “Everybody but Kirara and the hag have tried to comfort me; and you all suck at it. That’s it.” He gets up, “I’m goin to find Sesshomaru and get my body back.” Kagome says, “But Kikyo said she was going to…” He interrupts again, “Like I care! Are you guys coming?” Kagome says, “I’ll get everyone; and Inuyasha, it’s good to have you back.”
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Friday, February 24, 2006

Sibling Showdown
*episode 5*

Kagome asks Kagura, “So what are you going to do now?” Kagura thinks, she then says, “I guess I’ll stay here. I’ll keep an eye on my Sesshy’s body until he gets it back. That is what you’re working on; aren’t you?” Miroku says, “It is; but I’m still not sure why. Inuyasha, aren’t you always talking about how you want to be a full demon? Haven’t you got exactly what you wished for?” Inuyasha says, “Ya I want to be a demon, any demon; except Sesshomaru.” Kagome says, “Do you think that’s what Sesshomaru wants? I mean, he does have the Tetsusaiga.” Kagura says, “Trust me, his desire for that sword does not out weigh his hatred for half-breeds. But he does desire it; what do I have to do to make him look at me that way?” Shippo says, “Become an ultra-powerful demon-sword.” Suddenly, screams are heard from the village. Villagers running past Kaede’s hut shout, “The undead! The living dead!!!” The old priestess says, “That would be my sister.” Inuyasha, his voice raised by happiness, says, “Kikyo?” He then looks to Kagome who turns away. Kikyo steps in the door, looks around; and asks, “Where is Inuyasha?” “Right here.” he says. “You might wanna sit down while the monk explains it again.” Sango says, “Maybe it’ll make more sense this time.” Miroku goes through the story, again, and Kikyo listens through it all. Finally she says, “So we don’t know when this will be reversed?” Miroku says, “No, but once there have been enough gags the author will wrap everything up.” Kikyo thinks for a moment, then she gets to her feet. Inuyasha says, “Kikyo, where are you going?” She says, “To Sesshomaru, where else?” Inuyasha says, “I’ll come with you.” She says, “You’d only be in the way.” “In the way?” he asks. Kagome asks, “What are you going to do?” Kikyo says, “What men and women always do.” Kagome says, “With Sesshomaru?!?” Kikyo says, “Don’t be so naive; Inuyasha and my relationship was always purely physical. Now that his body is gone, we have no relationship.” Inuyasha looks at her, slack-jawed. Sango interjects, “Wait a minute, you mean all you ever wanted from Inuyasha was sex?” Kikyo says, “Oh come on; this is so typical. That monk is a womanizer; and it’s considered comical and he’s all the more lovable for it. But as soon as a female character shows any deviation from Victorian codes of modesty, any hint of sexual appetite; she’s either condemned as a whore or turns out to be possessed.” Kagome says, “I see someone’s been reading up on feminist theory.” Miroku says, “I once took a women’s studies course.” Everyone looks at him. He says, “It wasn’t about what I had thought it would be.” Kikyo looks to Inuyasha who is still in shock. She says, “What’s wrong?” Inuyasha says, “I…I loved you.” “Oh,” Kikyo says, “Well this is awkward. I’m going to go now.” And go she does. Inuyasha sits there, clearly devastated. Kagome reaches out to comfort him; before she can, she stops. He looks up at her with the eyes of a hurt puppy dog. She says, “No, no, it’s not like that. It’s just…you’re Sesshomaru. I really don’t like him.” I think Inuyasha is going to cry now.
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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Sibling Showdown
*episode 4*

Kagura is flying on her feather when she happens over Kaede’s village. She casually glances down and sees a startling site. Sesshomaru is walking alone with Kagome in the forest. Having gone to great lengths to acquire Sesshomaru’s affections, such as they are; she is not about to let some mortal in a mini-skirt win him away. She drops to the ground and calls, “Sesshomaru, get away from that thing; you know exactly where it’s been.” Sesshomaru, who is in fact Inuyasha says, “Sesshomaru ain’t home right now, you wanna leave a message?” Kagura is taken aback; she says, “Only one character uses that contraction! Somehow…you are Inuyasha.” Some time later, Kagura is seated in Kaede’s home. She has just heard the story of how things came to be as they are now. Miroku says, “And now that you know; we can assume that Naraku will immediately try to take advantage of this situation.” Kagura says, “No, he won’t be. Naraku isn’t going to be doing anything to you for the next 2 weeks.” Inuyasha says, “You mean this is the time when he loses his powers?” “No.” she says. Miroku says, “Then what makes you think he won’t bother us; what’s going on for the next two weeks?” Kagura says, “He’s redeeming his credit card miles on a two week ski trip to the Swiss Alps.” “Switzerland, at this time of year?!?” Miroku says. “How could they not have that blacked out?” Kagura says, “When you’re as evil as Naraku, how can you not be friends with the people who reject applications to use skymiles.” Miroku says, “Damn, how come I can never get to use mine?” Kagome says, “Miroku, you have a credit card?” Sango asks, “Miroku, what do you need a credit card for. Miroku says, “Well, to buy things of course…umm…over the internet.” Sango asks suspiciously, “What kind of things?” Miroku stammers, “Well, umm, I collect…cinematic art.” Sango says, “Really, well maybe we should watch some together sometime.” Miroku says, “Sango, you want us to get together to watch por…” smack “Moving right along.” Kagome says. Kagura continues, “He got 3 tickets, so he left me and Kohaku and took Hakudoshi and Kanna.” Sango says, “Kohaku?” Kagura says, “Yes, but he left, said something about a hot date.” Miroku says, “So you have Naraku’s whole demonic fortress all to yourself? It must get lonely; I could come over and keep you company…” whack “Thank you.” Kagura says. Sango responds, “No problem.”
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Wednesday, February 22, 2006

TheOtaku accepted another one of my quizes. Please take it.
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Sibling Showdown
*episode 3*

Jaken is lying with his head against Au-Un’s rump reading a magazine. The title is Playgnome, and he’s staring at a centerfold of a female lawn gnome. He sighs, “I could never get a woman like that.” Suddenly, his reprieve is shattered by a motor noise; quite out of place in a 16th century forest. Rin, who had been sitting talking to Au-Un jumps to her feet, “It’s Kohaku!” Sure enough, the boy rides up to them on a small Japanese motorcycle. He’s clad in denim, and wearing a leather jacket. Rin begins to run to him. She stops and turns to Jaken, “I’m going!” Jaken says, “Be home by 9; and wear a helmet.” With that, Rin jumps on the back of the bike and the two ride off. Jaken goes back to his magazine, not that he’d ever left. He is like this when he hears a familiar voice, “Jaken.” He looks up and sees Inuyasha. Jaken jumps to his feet and grabs his staff, “Halt! What business have you with me; vile cur?!?” Sesshomaru, who I know is in Inuyasha’s body, and you is in Inuyasha’s body, but Jaken does not know that he is in Inuyasha’s body, is not amused. He grabs Jaken and shoves him into a tree; no, literally into, embedding him in the wood. Jaken says, “M…m’lord?” He pulls himself out of the Jaken shaped hole in the tree and stares at his master. “I see Inuyasha, I hear him too; but somehow I know this to be my lord, Sesshomaru. M’lord, how did this…what has become of…what the #*&%?” Sesshomaru says, “I have few answers; and none I feel like sharing with you.” He sits down with his back to Au-Un. Jaken says, “M’lord…” Sesshomaru sends him a cold, demonic stare that knocks him off his feet.
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Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Sibling Showdown
*episode 2*

“So Inuyasha is in Sesshomaru’s body?” Kagome say. Inuyasha, who is indeed in Sesshomaru’s body, says, “Jeez, how many times are you gonna keep askin that?” She says, “I’m sorry, but this is just a little…weird.” “Hmph, you’re one to talk.” he mutters. “What do I have to do, beat up Shippo? Hey wait,” he reaches up to his neck, “No beads! Hey Shippo, get over here you scruffy little ankle biter!” Inuyasha pursues Shippo out the door. Kagome runs after them shouting, “Sit!” Inuyasha is pulled forcefully down to the ground. “What gives?!?” he shouts. “I don’t have the stupid necklace, so why can she still do that?” Miroku, who has followed them outside, says, “It must have something to do with the method in which this was done to you. Now, if you’ll all come back inside, we can discuss how that happened and what we can do about it. When they are all gathered back inside Kaede’s hut, Miroku says, “As I said before, we are dealing with a plot device; a most dangerous and formidable magic.” Kagome says, “What can we do about it?” Miroku says, “Well, for starters, we can get the brothers on the talk show circuit. We start by going back to Jerry, then Oprah, and we see where it goes from there. There’s at least one book in this, maybe two. I’m not sure if we can work out merchandising but…” Sango cuts him off, “Miroku, what about getting him back to normal?” Miroku says, “Back to normal; Inuyasha, is that what you want?” There is a collective groan from everyone except the monk. He says, “Well that’s an entirely different story. I’m not sure we can do that. You see, only the author can use a plot device. However, I’ll say this: most plot devices resolve themselves. If we wait till then end of the story, you’ll probably be restored to normal whether we try to get you back to normal or not.” Inuyasha says, “Monk, you’re givin me a headache.” Kagome says, “Why not leave out the philosophy and give us the Sparknotes?” Sango says, “Kagome, you use Sparknotes?” Kagome blushes, “Well, with all the time I spend here, sometimes I don’t have time to read the material.” “Anyway,” Miroku says, “Everything will work out just fine by the end of the story.” Kagome says, “How can you be sure?” The monk says, “Didn’t you read the instructions? This can’t be a cliffhanger.”
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Monday, February 20, 2006

My friends, this is my entry in Lordsesshomaru’s fanfic contest. Those of you, if any, who are not familiar with his fanfics may be at a disadvantage because this story is set in his universe, and written to match his own humoris style. It should be very easy to tell where his work ends and mine begins; but to make it unmistakable, this piece here is written by him. My writing continues his story, and begins in today’s second post.

Sibling Showdown
(written by LordSesshomaru)

The setting is the feudal era, the slight chill of early winter fills the air. The time is the afternoon. The place is Kaede’s village. Inuyasha wipes the sweat from his brow, sweat created from the exercise one would receive from chopping firewood. From sunrise until now, the half-demon has been using Tetsusaiga to cut wood for the elderly priestess. Not on his own accord, but because he was ordered to by Kagome, thanks to the beads of subjugation around his neck.

Inuyasha: I hate this necklace. I hate this firewood. I hate that old lady. FEH!

Shippo is seated nearby on a log.

Shippo: You hate everything, don't you?

Inuyasha: I hate you.

Shippo (rolling eyes): I saw that coming.

Inuyasha (mocking): I saw that coming.

Shippo: Shut up.

Inuyasha (mocking): Shut up.

Shippo: Quit it!

Inuyasha (mocking): Quit it!

Shippo: KAGOME!

Kagome joins them from inside of Kaede's house.

Kagome: What is it, Shippo?

Shippo: Inuyasha is making fun of me!

Inuyasha: Liar! I'm chopping firewood and he's harassing me!

Shippo: Nuh-uh!

Kagome: Hmm...

Inuyasha: Who are you going to believe? Me or him?

Kagome studies them both. Shippo is making a cute, innocent face. Inuyasha is scowling with his arms crossed.

Kagome: SIT!

The beads of subjugation use their magic to pull Inuyasha to the ground. Shippo laughs and follows Kagome back inside the house.

Inuyasha: I HATE THEM ALL!

Voice: Then why do you put up with them?

Inuyasha (looking around): Who said that? That sounded like--

Sesshomaru is standing near some trees not too far away from Inuyasha.

Sesshomaru: You're a disgrace...allowing a human to push you around like that.

Inuyasha: You're the real disgrace! I mean, look at you! You have that makeup, that goofy moon on your forehead, that fluffy thingy...what is that thing anyway? And to top it off...you only have one arm! Gee, I wonder why?

Sesshomaru's blood starts to boil.

Inuyasha: You chastise me for keeping company with humans. What about Rin, eh? I thought she was a human. I guess she's a monkey in disguise or something. You're just jealous because I have TWO women after me and you only have that creepy Kagura chick following you around. And I think Jaken is a bit too friendly with you, if you know what I'm saying.

Sesshomaru tightens his fist. Inuyasha takes some soil from the ground and makes a moon on his forehead similar to his brother's. He goes inside and gets Kagome's fluffy winter coat and drapes it over his right shoulder. Then he tucks his left arm inside his kimono. Inuyasha struts around, imitating his brother.

Inuyasha (as Sesshomaru): Ooh! Look at me! I'm Sesshomaru! I have two swords but only one arm to use them! My best friends are a grade-schooler and a green piece of poop with legs!

Sesshomaru's eyes fill up with his enraged demon blood.

Inuyasha (as Sesshomaru): I'm so pretty! All I need now is a purse to match this outfit and I'm set, girlfriend!

Inuyasha swivels his hips as he walks in circles around Sesshomaru. The Lord of the Western Lands has had enough. He draws Tokijin.

Sesshomaru: I will not stand here and continue to be mocked!

Inuyasha points to the log that Shippo was sitting on before.

Inuyasha: You can always sit down and continue to be mocked.

Sesshomaru points Tokijin at his brother.

Sesshomaru: HAVE AT YOU!

Inuyasha removes the funny outfit and raises Tetsusaiga.

Inuyasha: Heh! As you wish!

The brothers lock their swords together...
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Sibling Showdown
(written by lunarJ)
*episode 1*

As the brothers prepare to fight, Miroku is walking with Sango in the same forest. I’m sure you can imagine what he’s after; and he’s already been smacked twice. But they both sense the collision of demonic auras as the brothers clash; and rush to the scene. Sango is about to run forward and call on Inuyasha to be reasonable…but Miroku grabs her arm and points at the air above the brothers. Floating there is a mystical green sphere. Sango says, “What is it?” Miroku says, “I think…I think it’s a plot device.” Sango says, “A what?” Miroku explains, “An event or item used by the author to explain away an incongruent or nonsensical occurrence in the plot.” “Huh?” Sango says. Miroku calls, “Inuyasha, lookout!” Suddenly the sphere explodes and green lightning shoots into both brothers, sending them flying. Sango and Miroku rush to where Inuyasha lays. “Inuyasha!” Sango shouts, “Are you all right?” Inuyasha’s eyes snap open and he glares at her. “Don’t you dare call me by that name.” he says. Miroku asks, “OK, then would you like to be called?” Suddenly, Sesshomaru jumps to his feet and shouts, “What the hell happened!?! Sango, Miroku, what are you doin here?!? What the hell is goin on!?!” Inuyasha stands and looks at Sesshomaru. The brother stare, speechless, for several seconds. Inuyasha’s face takes on a very serious, this isn’t happening look; and Sesshomaru says, “What the HELL!?!” Miroku says, “Sesshomaru, I’ve never thought of you as one to curse so freely.” Inuyasha says, “He’s not Sesshomaru, you twit; I am.” Sesshomaru, the one who looks like Sesshomaru that is, says, “Wait, you’re Sesshomaru?!? How come you look like me?” The one who claims to be Sesshomaru says, “Inuyasha, count to 6.” The other one looks down to his fingers; it is only then that he realizes that he’s missing an arm. He follows the stump up to his shoulder and notices the clothes he’s wearing. “I’m…Sesshomaru?” he says. “Took you long enough to notice.” the one in red says. Miroku says, “This is what I was afraid of. Inuyasha and Sesshomaru have somehow switched bodies.” Sango says, “You knew this was going to happen?” “Well,” the monk says, “not exactly; but something like this.” “I don’t suppose you know how to undo this; NOW!?!” Sesshomaru says. Miroku says, “No, but given time…” Sesshomaru, by which I mean the one in Inuyasha’s body, turns his back on the monk and walks to grab the Tokigin. Inuyasha likewise tries to grab hold of Tetsusaiga; only to be repelled by its barrier. Seeing this, Sesshomaru drops his blade and moves to his brother. Cautiously, he reaches for the sword; it goes right into his hand and transforms into its full size. Inuyasha shouts, “Hey! Give that back.” Sesshomaru says, “I could not; even if I wanted to. There may be an upside to this situation after all.” Abandoning the Tokigin, Sesshomaru walks off leaving the group dazed and amazed.
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Sunday, February 19, 2006

Inside the author’s head
*episode 4*

Naraku is walking through the hall outside of J’s dorm; Mish steps out of the stairwell, sees him, and calls to him. Naraku turns, sees her, and bolts in the opposite direction. Mish runs after him, shouting to ask what’s wrong. Naraku goes over, under, around, and through a number of guys in the hall in his attempt to escape her. He is just about to reach the safety of the men’s bathroom when Inuyasha steps out and grabs him by the collar in passing. Naraku falls, still trying to get away from Mish. Inuyasha says, “Easy, what’s the matter with you?” Mish catches up with him, and he crawls around to try and hide behind Inuyasha’s legs. Mish says, “What’s that all about?!?” Naraku pokes his head around Inuyasha and says, “What’s this about!?! Last time we met you beat me up with a frying pan!!! You nearly killed me!” Mish says, “As I recall, I did kill you.” Inuyasha says, “Not dead enough. Look, you wanna interview him?” Mish says, “Not if he’s going to be like this.” “Fine,” Inuyasha says pulling out a Hershey’s bar, “Fetch!” He throws the bar and Naraku dashes after it.
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Inside the author’s head
*episode 5*

Sango is seated in the interview room across from Mish. Mish says, “So, what should we talk about? How are you liking life here?” “It’s fine,” Sango says, “I think some of the others like it more.” Mish says, “You wouldn’t be talking about Miroku; would you?” Sango says, “That pig? He loves it here. Frat parties, college girls, drinking, he’s having the time of his life.” Mish says, “Harsh, should we take it there’s nothing between you?” Sango says, “Nothing at all. I’m not interested, and he doesn’t care.” Mish says, “So how’s Kohaku doing?” Sango says, “He’s fine, he’s discovered video games.” Mish says, “Really, which ones?” Sango says, “I think the one’s he’s been talking about are called Tekken, Soul Caliber, and Final Fantasy.” Mish says, “Well, if not Miroku, is there someone else? I seem to recall an original character who was getting close to you.” Sango says, “Kiri, yes, he was sweet; but that never really developed. Nope, there’s nobody in my life right now.” Sango looks up at the clock on the wall and says, “Um… I’m sorry, but we’re going to have to cut this short.” Mish says, “Sure, thanks for your time. But where are you going in such a hurry?” Sango says, “It’s 3pm, I’m giving Sesshomaru a massage.” Mish says, “A massage?!?” Sango says, “It’s not like that; I just rub his back…and do his makeup…and his laundry…and fix him dinner…and sharpen and polish his swords…and…” Mish cuts her off, “You sound like either his mother, or his wife. He could probably get his fangirls to do all that for him; why do you think he has you do it?” Sango blushes and says, “I…umm…look at the time; I really have to go now. I’ll see you later.” She hurries out of the room.
*The End*
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