Friday, June 9, 2006

gaaaaargggggg
*yawn* last day of school! W00T I thought this day would never come! *whimper* O can finally change my profile to junior, so yea!

*yawn* so, I'm going to be going to the lake with everyone after exams (all I have is biology) then uhhhh I do believe I'm gogin to be staying at shannons house till work, then... after work, I'm gogin to go home, and stay up playing geniji untill I fall over dead. ^^

lets seee... I have 2 hraduation partys to go to tomarrow, and sunday we're gogin to my grandmaws house. we do it every sunday, so she wont feel bad. ^^ oh. and I get paied today, so I misht go to hot topic, and get that fancy FMA dog tag I've been eying for so long... ^^ oh well. must go.

ps- jessica I hope you can make it!

-lizzie-
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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

why I dont like being touched, why I dont want to fall in love

It's something I cant control,
Something I wish I didn't feel.
It makes me more than nervous,
It's something I'll never reveal.


It makes my stomach tie up in knots,
And causes so many butterflies.
But I will never tell you this,
All you will hear are lies.


It makes my body stop,
It takes my breath away.
Bt I don't know how to tell you,
I don't know what you'd say.


It makes my heart pound fast,
Causing it to skip a beat.
I know I shouldn't keep it hidden,
Not telling you makes me feel incomplete.


Looking deep into your eyes,
Going completely weak in the knees.
Love is what I feel for you,
But do you feel anything for me?

I talk to you night and day, and sometimes in between
And every time we see each other, I hate being me.
We tell each other everything, as best friends always do,
And when we're hurt we can trust the other to come through.

We talk about our high school dreams, our losses and successes,
We even talk about old crushes, past relationships, and wishful romances.
Every time your happy, I am happy for you,
And every time you hurt, I am hurting with you.

I feel like you're a part of me everywhere I go,
Sometimes I want to cut you away, and go out on my own.
For no matter what happens, your always in my mind,
No matter how far I go your always right behind.

I hate the feeling that swells my heart, bursting to explode,
For as long as we're best friends, it can never overflow.
And as long as you see me, the way you see me now,
I'll hide behind my painted smile, until forever comes around.

For what I want you to see in me, comes differently in your eyes,
Because for forever and all eternity I will just be one of the guys.
I will always be the one you come talk to about her,
And you will always come to me when your hurt and need a cure.

You've always wanted to find that one who will love you in return,
I just stand beside you as you look at each girl in turn.
You'll look in front and behind, but somehow you can't see,
The truth has been standing by your side, and it will always be.

So as you start to slowly see, what is written on the wall,
I will be waiting by your side, waiting for your call.
But until that day finally comes, until forever ends,
By your side, blind to you, I will become again.

I will always be here waiting, until your blind eyes choose to see,
But until that time comes. Best friends I must choose to be.

so mabye love just isnt for me.
mabye I'm the one to blame.
mabye I should get over it
before I go insane

I'm not aloud to love.
its just not my forte`
I shouldnt be blushing
this isnt my game

this isnt my scene
yet I long for your touch
I dont want you too look at me
and see my blush

I'm not aloud to want
I'm not supposed to feel
I'm not aloud to be a women
I refuse to have sex appeal

and yet here I am, trying to see what kind of girl you like
and playing with my hair
I'll play around in dresses
and imagine your stares

but that was long ago
and this is now
I forgot how to kiss
I cant remeber how

so while people play
and you sleep.
I'll roll my eyes
and try not to weep.

because your so close yet so far away
asleep on my carpet
I'm going insane.

I've tried love before
and it wasnt enough
I've been hurt before
so i'm done with that mushy stuff

so please try to understand
please try to cope
I cant get hurt again
I wont be that dope

I decided to never love again.
never will this heart yern
I will rip away my longing
I'll be strict and stern

I'll be millitant
I'll be mean
I'll be ugly
I'll be obscene

I'll mock you're clothing
and shout when your near
I'll chew with my mouth open
and I'll always sneer

because it that means you wont love me
thats the risk I want to take
I dont want to cry in your arms
I cant let my heart take a break

I wont be easy
I wont be breezy
I wont be anything at all

I'd rather be your best friend...

than be nothing at all.

(why I dont like being touched, why I dont want to fall in love)
-liz-
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Friday, May 5, 2006

*yawn*
so yes I'm ofically a lazy bum.

My friend amelia thinks I'm a vampire, but I'm just really tired, and I like to wear sunglasses. *shrug* oh well.

welp, been watching advent children and saiyuki relgiously. oh yea, and I need to get of my mazy bum and get around to getting a boyfriend. 1 and a half year is long enough. I need to stop being such a coward, and start the trancending process of re-entering the dating world.

I just wish there where some cute asian boys at our school. well ones that I can talk to any way. *shrug*

must go. see ypu all later!
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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

   day of silence
today id the day of silence. I'm on my laptop right now. its cool. I've taken a vow of silence for the day, to call to order the gay, bi, transgender, un equal rights in america. its also to call the un equal relgious, and racial standards in american society.

buddist, mixed, (black/hispanic/white)and bisexual. yea, I'm into the day today. besides, I went and got finalfanasty 7, advent children last night. I've lost my voice. well, must go. I need to do my homework. I'll see you all later!

-kumiko-
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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

   get a mac.
Hey everyone! bored up here in ohio. as usual. humm just got home from school. finished my writing ogt. god these state issued graduation test are a pain in the ass. I absoultely hate them. any test issued by buerocrats that haven't been in school for 20 years and plus, are not going to follow the known requirement for the new generation.

ok, I'm done. I'm listening to this song, I listened to non-stop over the summer. its called white houses. It makes me feel so happy. last summer was a big mile stone in my life. I finally started thinking for myself. I quit band, and swam everyday! I played outside, and did jazz dancing. I love the song. it makes me feel so happy, and hopeful for this summer.

I just remeber waking up in the middle of muggy hot july day, and leaning against the wall, watching everything outside my house, through my bedroom window, drinking a cup of coffie. I matured alot in those short 3 months. Alot more than I could have ever hoped for in marching band. I also gained alot of better friends. michelle, jessica, shannon, stephanie. people I usually only said "hi" to in the hallway. I've gained a new insight on life, and reality in general.

I've gained a new smile. I'm no longer wrapped up in band drama. actually the only minimal traces of drama I have now are related to band. I feel alot better about everything. and really...

I like feeling this way. I have no ounce of guilt quitting marching band. no matter what happens in life I know, I'm destianed to go to a better place. with sandy beaches, and happy people, and small towns.

*closes eyes* its almost summer soon. who is going to join me? not doing marching band is a strange new thing, I'll admit. you feel like a lost lamb, looking for its herd. and yet, that huge freedom, and happy feeling... its priceless.

absoultely priceless.
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Friday, March 10, 2006

   total boredom...
Listening to-
fairborn high school
fight song

Hey kids. I'm really bored. I'm hanging out in english. The pep rally is going on, but I didnt get a ticket, so I'm playing on my english teachers computer. mrs.gayheart is awesome. so I get to go play for 2 haours. yup yup. fun. They're going easy on us because of the ogt. yea.

humm... ohh guess what? I'm getting a new server!!! yeassss!!!! ohhh I get to go to the apple store! *giggle* sucking on shuffles, and worship powerbooks. hellz yea. I love mac's. they are the anwser to all. get a mac. like what they say...

once you go mac, you never go back!!!

get an apple!!! (sound advise from a sound person...)

teh badger-hehe yea right.

liz-did you complete the mission?

teh badger- I could not kill his holy-ness bill gates.

Liz- *sigh* fine... and the others?

badger- Yess master, I set all the sponges in the school on fire.

liz- did ou get to sophie?

badger- she managed to escape.

liz- *pumps fist* dammmit!!!

-yea...

-kumi-san-

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006

   Squee!!!
hello everyone!!

yea, I'm in school right now. I'm jamming out, having fun. yea, thats me. so umm I've been playing FF10 this past week. its quite depressing. I'm addidicted...

again...

so yea. I have OGT next week. (ohio graduation test) its insane. All sophmores have to take it. but I get to go to dayton to buy a new video game. I'm getting this new 1st person shooter game. I've been needing a new one. I've been playing kil zone for almost a year.

which reminds me, it will be 3 years tomarrow that I've been playing FF11!!! I've logged in over 8,000 hours. how sad.

well must go before a teacher yells at me!
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Saturday, February 25, 2006

   WOOO!!
Listening to-
Samsonite man'
Alicia Keys
Diary of alicia keys

Wowo its amazing how sad I am... lol I got a new mouse for my computer, and I'm all excited. I really doesnt take much for me. but its really cool. its extra small, and its wireless, so I can lean back in my chair, and just run the mouse on my leg if I feel like it. I might even be getting a wireless keybored next month. that way I wont have to sit properly in a chair ever!!! ^-^ woot. humm well, I've been feeling so bummed out. I just saw the last episode of petite princess yushi. I started watching it with my little sister, thinking it would suck. but ti turned out to be really cute, and captivating. I hope theres some OVAs floating around I can get my hand on.

Advise for the day- Don't fall asleep watching silence of the lambs. I woke up with this huge craving for some broiled steak, favi beans, and a nice cantii. yea, its kinda sick, but I gotta wonder... where can I get a nice cantii at this time of year? and in the north east? *shrug* things to ponder... lol

I must go! see ya!

-kumi-chan-
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Friday, February 24, 2006

   I miss swedish fish days.
Currently Listening
A Fever You Can't Sweat Out
By Panic! At the Disco


I'm counting down the days till summer vacation!!!



I'm sick. I've got bronchitius, and I'm having broncuial spasms in my diaphram, making me cough a lot. so ya, I'm gonna be out for a while. *shrug* its really not that bad. my doc drugged me up with heven knows what, so I'm not feeling a god damn thing. the only reason why I'm coughing up blood, is because I'm ripping up some of the scar tissue from my lung surgy. so its not like bad or anything. its completely normal, and I'll be back on monday. I might even be well enough to go to church with tiff and helen, if thier up for it. well tiff anyway. hehel isnt getting out for a while.

on the up side, its only 4 weeks untill spring!!! yay!!! I'm munching on swedish fish, remebering when I was a kid, I used to go to the pool with my cousin all the time, and we'd always get swedish fish, and when My grandmaw would pick us up, we'd be in the back of the van soaking wet, throwing candy at eachother. (this was before he became a royal ass hole of corse.) Man that was fun!!!

I gotta go, I need to check ma e-mail!!! luv ya'll! love your cute and perky,

-Dizzy Lizzy-

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Saturday, February 18, 2006

   *dancing*
Thats right, I'm your huckleberry.

Listening to-
Tsurugi No Mai
Nujabes
Samurai Champloo: music record katana

ya ya ya, so just jamming out, having fun. I've been pretty lazy lately, just... not updating on the computer, being retarded. you know normal teenage stuff. lol. so lets see... whats been going on... Eh, well, We got a 3 day weekend, so I get to sleep in. I like presidents day. ^-^ then on wendsday is midterms, so that'll be fun. then friday we're off for confrences. so ya, I'm set, in the way of sleep days.

well I got the 3rd DVD of full metal panic fumofu, (I cant spell) and I've been cracking up all day. I just got back from the movie theater. I took my little sister to see harry potter again at the bargin theater, next to the mall. we had fun. I was too busy drooling over the boy who played Krum. cutie. ja, now we're watching azumanga daio. we got the box set with all the DVD's a few weeks ago. my moms at work, and my dads at my grandmaws, so I'm just chillin, eating nachos with my overweight dog. how sad is that... umm oh yea, I might be going to japan this summer. if not this summer, next summer. I just need to save up 5,775 bucks. yea, that'll happen.

well I keep putting off the huge pile of e-mail in mt yahoo account... T.T soo sad. lol love ya'll!

-kumiko-chan-
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