myOtaku.com: LyingHereInHeaven

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1989-12-07
Gender
• Female
Location
• states. nuff said
Member Since
• 2005-03-30
Occupation
• student
Real Name
• EL Lizzo Don Porvalentino VII

Personal

Achievements
• I'd say, getting out of bed every morning. hummm And startng my baby, known as Dizzylogic.com
Anime Fan Since
• I was like... 2...(sailor moon hoocked me )
Favorite Anime
• fushigi yuugi, FLCL, chobits, ceres, inuyasha, full metal alchmist, azumanga daioh, trigun, cowboy bebop, sailor moon, fruits basket, card captor sakura, yu-gi-oh, pretear, arjuna, avatar, wolfs rain, full metal panic, saiyuki, naruto, gravi, and, DN ange
Goals
• hummm *thinking* I would love to go to africa, and help out the red cross with AIDS relief efforts... umm oh and to graduate high school with honors!!!
Hobbies
• I love playing and listening to music, oh I like designing outfits. umm cooking, playing video games, fueling my insominia, by watching kung fu movies at 3 in the morning, and Playing Sports, mostly tennis, and daydreaming
Talents
• playing trumpet, drawing, dancing, writing, running, I'm really flexiable... ummm I'm good at falling over my own feet.

myOtaku.com: LyingHereInHeaven

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

second guessing
Listening to:
Pavlov's daughter
regina spektor
11:11

Relaxation. I think I've gotten through to my parents. Surprisingly I didnt say anything. I just stayed after school untill about 4:30, then once I got home, I left just driving around.

But I digress. I got home, and the big ohio state flordia game was on, so my dad was glued to the TV in our den. my mom didnt bother me once. she asked where I went, I told her about driving around, and made up some story about visiting the mall. and as I left to go up to my room, she stopped me. she said something along the lines of "are you happy?" I just kinda sighed and looked up at her, and told her yea. that was it. we havent seen each other since.

I dont know if its good or bad. I mean. shes my mother. yet, I dont really feel strongly about her. the same with my dad. thats such a strange question to ask. "are you happy" how can you anwser that? I'm happy with certain situations in my life, yes. the guy I'm dating is fantastic, I'm getting ok grades, I am happy. but, with things like, the look on my moms face, when I'm talking about something thats really intersting to me, like going to africa to help with the aids effort, or me being vegitarian. she looks at me like I have 2 heads or something.

I wish we could connect or something. but we're just so different, it gets really frustraiting. because she doesnt want to. I just know shes going to want to re connect sooner or later. but I'm not sure if shes too late. its too late for my dad. about 10 years too late. but she still has a chance. it kills me that she doesnt want to... I donno. mabye I'm second guessing my self too much, and not voicing my true feelings enough to her. but it feels like not one member of my family truely cares about me. they have the normal expected love, but, I cant say for sure if its real. and I cant say for sure if I love them.

Mabye I'm thinking too much

-lizzo
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